I feel happy! Like a weight has been lifted!

[DanThaman]

Hey everyone!

I've been lurking the forums for quite some time now, seeking help, comfort or guidance in that maybe some other people may have experienced or been in familiar situations such as myself and how they've dealt with it or recovered.

I felt as though i wanted to get my experience out there in the hopes that it can be beneficial to other people who may be experiencing a similar struggle.

I'll try and keep this fairly short and direct without going into detail as the character limit is quite small.

Im currently 22 years old and have just finished my first year at university as a mature age student (being slightly older than the average student).

I was bullied a lot through highschool, it hit me pretty hard and i had developed social anxiety and a mild form of depression. I didnt realize it at the time but i found it difficult to fit in, to go out and socialize in any forms and meet other people. I became very timid, not making eye contact and kept to myself. Although, if somebody talked to me you probably wouldn't realize it, i still spoke quite well - Introverted, but not shy.

I met a girl in one of my study groups at the start of the semester and we bonded a little outside of classes. Going for coffee after class, having small talk, discussing classes, work, details about ourselves etc. It felt really nice, it had been a long time since i had genuinely had a conversation with somebody and feeling accepted.

I felt as though id regret it otherwise, so i wrote her a note discussing my situation and that i had appreciated her company this semester and thanked her for helping me through a tough time. I didn't hear back from her straight away, and i didnt expect to. I know giving a note may not have been the optimal thing to do but i felt as though i couldn't do it any justice speaking to her myself so i felt as though writing would be best.

Anyway, after the class exam she approached me and handed me a letter that she had written herself. Because of her, i was able to come to a realization in letting go of whatever resentment or baggage that once held me down and i felt unburdened and currently still do feel like my life has just started and i have the opportunity to start to regain control. To stop looking in the past and to get a sense of who i am and to finally start living! People like i once was, who run, will never have a real life until they change whatever it is about themselves that they're runnning from.

Be happy with yourself!

[DanThaman]

I let my past get me down and weirdly enough i started to feel a level of comfort in it. I know its unhealthy and i know its difficult but i feel as though i have to get myself 'out there' more. Build some confidence. Be myself and not care what other people think, because it really does chip away at you and you can only take so much for so long. Honestly, dont fight it alone. Seek help from a professional, they are there to help.

The feeling you get once you've conquered your demons and the weights been lifted is incredible, but it all starts with one step, one push and it all comes from YOU. Get out there and LIVE. Be HAPPY and enjoy life. Dont let your past get you down, the question is what can you do now. Be a better person than you were yesterday.

I've only just started but it feels so good. I finally feel free!

Thanks for reading!

[Zeal]

Hi Dan,

Welcome to posting on the forum!

I'm so glad you've found happiness and have given yourself permission to let go of the past.

I'm 23 and in my third year of uni. It's funny that at 22 you can be considered a 'mature age student'. My boyfriend is 25 later this year, and he jokes that he feels old at uni among some of the other students!

Giving that girl a note was brave and admirable, in my opinion. Many people wouldn't have the courage to actually do that. It's great that she wrote you a letter in return. I hope you two remain close friends. Unless you like each other as something more! Don't mind me - I'm a romantic!

You seem like a really intelligent, perceptive and kind person. You have gained real insight into yourself and how to move forward in life. I gained this insight in my early twenties too, and I'm so glad I did. I still haven't overcome my OCD, but that's okay. You have broken down your social anxiety, so well done. Being slightly introverted is not a problem at all, as you would now be aware. Chances are you're a better listener and are more articulate for it 🙂 Besides, society would cease to function if everyone was extroverted!

Thanks for your great post. Feel free to reply and to start a new thread in the future.

Best wishes,

SM

[DanThaman]

Thanks for the kind words! She was a great person but i think i scared her away. It was hard at first, but i can see why from her position, I may have come across as a little rash or her not wanting to deal with somebody like that - im sure its more complicated, and i completely understand. She has helped me greatly and i appreciate what she has done for me, but i've accepted that if she doesnt want to see me again, then thats ok. I've still become a better person in the end.

I plan on joining a few clubs and meeting new people, to try to actively engage in conversation and start to get outside of my comfort zone. Its a scary thought, but i oddly enough feel excited for it!

Nobody deserves to be unhappy, and i kind of dug myself deeper into a hole and accepted it. Luckily she made me realize this about myself. I know many other people may not have this chance, so PLEASE, do fight it, do get help, do realize what it is that makes you unhappy and start heading down a road that you can be happy with!

Don't feel as though your alone on this journey, or that you have to be alone. There ARE people out there, but you need to make the first step. Its not easy - but it is a GRAND step.

[Guest_1055]

Hey Dantheman

I so much appreciate what you have written. I felt encouraged somehow. Especially like his part that you wrote:

Get out there and live. Be happy, and enjoy life. I think for me right at this time I needed to be reminded of that.

Thanks again and good on You!

Shell xx

[DanThaman]

Thanks Shell!

I think everybody deserves to be happy and sometimes it just gets a little hard. If my story has inspired anybody in some way then i've accomplished more than i set out to. Keep doing what your doing and the pieces will fall into place. Stay strong!

[EloiseS]

I wish I was like you at the tender age of 22... You are already doing amazing things and being proactive with your mental health and you probably don't fully realise it yet. You have completed a year of Uni already, awesome work. Keep going 🙂

[Synapse]

Hi Dan,

Welcome to our community and thank you for sharing your story!

I think it's great that you're socialising more and branching out. You have a wonderful, positive outlook in life and I encourage such perspective. 🙂

By the sounds of things you are doing quite well. You have completed your first year of uni, and I'm sure you're well on the road to completing your degree.

I wish you all the very best with your studies and look forward to hearing more from you in the forums!

Cheers,
Ken.

[DanThaman]

Thanks everyone!

Your nice comments brought a tear to my eye. For the past few weeks ive been getting outside more, simple things like going shopping or just taking a walk. I've been traveling to uni more often to study rather than at home to get away from distractions and surround myself with people to try and become more comfortable with interactions.

I even changed my hairstyle and fashion choice to try and make myself feel more comfortable gradually overtime. I feel so much better and im looking forward to what my future holds.

Thanks everyone again. Your words mean a lot 🙂