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Husband cheating

Community Member

Hi I have just discovered my husband phone had texts messages asking how much for a full service and do you have any appointments today. . They have replied then I can't see any reply from him . When I checked his search history it was for brothels escort those hook up sites.

I am absolutely gutted. He says nothing happened but I don't believe him. He had even looked up brothels in another state before going there for work . We have 3 children and have been married for 22 years.

I feel useless I can't eat if I do I feel sick .

I haven't spoken to any of my friends about this as I can't seem to bring the words out of my mouth.

I had to go on antidepressants and I'm seeing a psychologist this week.

2 Replies 2

Community Champion
Community Champion

hello and welcome.

I cannot imagine what you would be feeling to find out that. It sounds shocking given the length of time you have been married. Betrayed! And hard for him to regain your trust? Might seem like an odd positive, but that you are able to talk to a psych this week, you might also be able to add this to the discussion list to find out a way forward.

Part of me says that if he did it once he ma do it again. On the other side he may honest about not following up.

But getting that initial thought out of my / your head is hard.

I guess the question in my mind is... is it a once off? Or not? How do you want to move forward? What are you thinking?

Community Member

That’s terrible, I’m sorry to hear… Have you asked him why he felt the need to seek this service out? Do you communicate about your sex lives and each other’s needs?

No doubt this is something difficult to come back from, but it’s important in my opinion that you have a nonjudgmental discussion to understand why he felt the need to go down this path to begin with.