How am I going through this on what should be a great moment?

[Saiba]

Hi Beyond Blue. I'm new, 32, but I feel like I should have been here long before. I started experiencing anxiety out of nowhere back in 2015 when I was in TAFE. Probably cause I was worried about my future and I wasn't working full-time at that point. It was a rough point that I eventually sat down with my GP about. After putting me on a prescription I've maintained that for years. My anxiety would often come in the form of stomach pain/cramps, severe loss of appetite, thirstiness, irritability, sensitivity to hot and cold, and occasional light-headedness. It would often happen on days in which there was a big event, a wedding, a funeral, an ongoing incident at work, a road trip, or a birthday party (one time it was my own). I would get anxious all throughout my body and I would back out at the last second. It's been plaguing me all my life, but I always had the support of my friends and my family most of all. They all went through situations like this themselves.

One of my worst times was during a year-long period when I was unable to find work. I became depressed, focusing on negatives all around me, and I started becoming emotional over time because I felt unwanted. That changed when I eventually found a job and have worked happily in it for 4 years with a positive workplace environment.

Recently it has returned, and it has come at what should be a momentous occasion. I bought myself an apartment back in late August. I often began having thoughts about wanting to move out, but as I got closer and closer to the occasion, I began thinking about leaving the home I'd been in all my life. As well as leaving my Mum and Dad who have been my rock and support in my best and worst of times. I think most times I took their work for granted - I didn't do too much around the house, but enough to help out with really arduous tasks. They told me themselves that they would stand by me whatever I chose to do, but now I feel like a willful part of me that I've worked on getting back has been ripped out after moving in. And replaced with this painful, torturous anxiety. But it feels worse this time, all the symptoms I had suffered began coming back, I feel it every morning and on the days I go to work. I also started thinking thoughts, dark thoughts that I had never EVER gone to before, and I always brushed off because up until now, my life seemed pretty stable at home with my parents. I'm here to look for help and advice however I can.

[Sophie_M]

Hi there, 

Welcome to the forums and thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. It’s a really good place to have come to hear from others. We’re really sorry to hear you’ve been having those intense feelings og anxiety. We think sharing here is a great step towards feeling better.  

If you want to talk through what you’re feeling at any time, the Beyond Blue Support Line is here for you 24/7 on 1300 22 4636, or online here. It’s ok to reach out when you’re feeling anxious or upset, they can talk you through some ways to find a bit of calm, and then help you to figure out some options for further support. 

We’re sure we’ll hear from the lovely community soon, but in the meantime, here’s some strategies you might like to have a look at it. We understand you might have been through some of these in the past and it might feel like cold comfort right now, but they’re here in case they do pique your interest: 

• Another thread where the community have shared some strategies for managing anxiety 

• Beyond Blue Article: When your inner critic is giving you a tough time 

Thanks again for sharing. We’re here to listen and offer support, and you never know how your story might help someone else. 

Kind regards, 
Sophie M 

[Saiba]

Ever since moving into my new owned apartment last weekend, I have been hit with an overwhelming wave of anxiety, and now I fear depression as well.

I am currently experiencing stomach pain/cramps, extreme loss of appetite, thirstiness, light-headedness, chills and burning feelings over my body, lack of coordination, and sadness. I am experiencing these when I wake up in the morning, and when I'm at my work which is close to where I live.

Now I'm feeling like I'm full of fear and beginning to have dark thoughts, thoughts that I've never EVER had before when I suffered in the past. I feel afraid for myself, and even though I have booked to see my GP on Friday for a mental-health checkup, I feel like I can't escape it wherever I go. 

I should point out that my anxiety tends to die down closer to the end of the day when it's time for me to make dinner and watch tv, but I fear the things like loss of appetite that may cause harm to my body and death by starvation. I'm literally nauseous around foods like pizza, sauces, and fried foods.

I want to be somewhere safe where I know I can count on people who will watch out for me - either my parents, or whether it's better for me to voluntarily admit myself to my local medical center. But I'm thinking maybe it's too early for me to consider doing this.

[Bob_22]

Hi Saiba,

Nice to run into you again here. I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with bad symptoms of anxiety since moving. I understand you completely when you say it is worse in the morning as that is the same with me for some reason. I hope your appointment with your doctor goes well tomorrow and please let us know how you go. Moving out of home can be tough, especially the first few weeks where you are still adjusting to a new environment. But even if you decide to move back home that is totally okay as well. Just think about doing what is best for you at this moment in time. Hope that makes sense.

Bob