Hi

[Janeie]

I'm feeling absolutely exhausted and at my wits end 😢

I feel I have no resilience, I'm incredibly sad and it's pervading all areas of my life. It stops me functioning properly and anxiety makes me always on edge.

i feel my life as been a constant struggle, one knock back after another and I don't have the internal resources to cope. I'm exhausted.

I don't even think about being happy anymore - just getting through the days.

i don't want to be unhappy. I want to be happy and positive, confident and able to bring value to people's lives but it's so hard.

I feel like having a month off to recuperate and gather my strength and internal resources. But I don't think it would help. I don't see what I could change.

Every area of my life is difficult at the moment. I'm lonely, (although I socialise a lot), worry about financial security, am not progressing in my career ... can't stop crying at the moment....

What to do.

[Starwolf]

Hi Janeie, good to meet you.

Thank you for sharing your concerns with us. Acknowledging there is something wrong demands courage but it is the first step towards healing a painful situation. You are obviously very unhappy at the moment but there are things you can do.

I suggest you do the K10 test to help you learn a bit more about what it is you are up against. You'll find it and other useful info in the Facts section (top left of this page).

Mental/emotional conditions are medical conditions. They do not disappear if left untreated but -as you have found out- infiltrate every area of your life, leaving you to feel miserable and dysfunctional. Booking a long appointment with a GP would be a good place to start. You may need to go on a mental health plan to help you pinpoint the root cause of the problem and learn to manage its effects.

So please take good care of yourself. You deserve much better than just getting through the days. Struggling alone is too difficult. It is also unproductive. There are times when we all need a helping hand. With help and support, it can and will get better.

Meanwhile, please feel free to post as much and as often as you wish. This space is your space.

Good to have you on board.

[kanga_brumby]

Janeie welcome to bb forums there are a lot of us in here who feel the same way, hourly as you do. We just persevere don't let the negative thoughts get us down. Its not easy, but then some good things do happen. Which lift the mood and we make it through the day. Its an hourly battle but we all help each other. We fall down we help each other up. Just try to concentrate on one thing that needs fixing. Make it an easy task to fix. When that's done reward yourself. Then move on to do another, and so on till you fell better and the hassles are gorne

[Janeie]

Thank you both so much for responding, it's very kind and helpful.

Today was a good day 😊 I met up with two girls in a group I'm a member of, this was intellectually stimulating and fun, I played sport and went to a friends for a BBQ.

I felt a bit awkward at the BBQ but it was ok.

I thought if I can break my issues into individual compartments they may feel more surmountable.

Im unchallenged and unhappy at work.

im trying to buy an appartment but so much is outside my budget. I worry about being destitute.

Im lonely. I don't have a partner and when times are tough I feel anxious that there's no one to turn to/lean on

[Doolhof]

Hi Janeie,

It is wonderful you managed to catch up with friends and went to a BBQ even though you did feel a little awkward.

I sometimes feel like I dread going places, once I am there I forget that I was so self conscious or anxious about going in the first place. I come home and have a sense of achievement because I did manage to go.

Making a list works for me. I find the most achievable items and tick them off as I do them. If something appears too hard, I will try to break it down into more manageable segments.

Would you like to share why you are unhappy at work? Are there changes you can make there to make it more positive?

Do you have family whom you can talk to when life gets you down?

This forum is a great place to connect and share. Everyone is anonymous, so that helps, at the same time people really care for each other.

Do you have hobbies and interests you can expand upon that might help you to meet other people? I joined a couple of different clubs when we moved to this region 4 years ago.

For many people I believe buying a property is difficult. I don't have any advice on that one for you sorry.

Often I find when I write down how I am feeling, I occasionally come up with solutions of my own when expressing how I am feeling.

Hope this process of sharing helps you as well.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Janeie]

Thanks for your response and suggestions 😊❤

I have moved a bit so am a great joiner and hobby taker-uperer.

makeing new friends gets exhausting and although I'm social I feel I don't have really close friends in my life - I'm missing the love, whether from a partner or close friend.

As far as work goes, I'm massively unfulfilled. My boss gives me mainly menial tasks. When she was away I got to work on exciting projects, now she's back it's back to soul destroying stuff.

She was angry with my recently because I was helping another manager (with her permission) and she felt I didn't keep her informed. She basically said I'm bored in the job and should look for another - true but my self esteem and anxiety is making this difficult.

But I'm incredibly unhappy. I like the wider environment and staff but really struggle with my immediate team and situation 😟

Buying is stressful and moving emotionally draining. Do I move further out and be lonely or buy a dingy place and be sad in it??

[Janeie]

Oh and no I try not to talk to my family. Too many of them struggle with mental health/depression/financial issues - I don't want to contribute to it.

Of course if things get really bad I'll have to.

I think I feel a bit better now because I've had a few days off work and I'm the distance is good for me! By Friday I'll be feeling like I'm going crazy again.

[Doolhof]

Hi Janeie,

Is it possible for you to work else where with in the business so you are more fulfilled and stimulated? Can you talk to the person in charge of more exciting projects to see if a transfer is possible?

Trying to work out where to live can be a hassle. We moved to the country 4 years ago and settled in a rather small town with about 450 people in the region. Even in such a small community it has been hard to make friends.

We have no public transport, the hotel is a bit of a dive hardly anyone goes there, the service station sells a few emergency items at a huge mark up, and the bakery does a roaring trade.

No matter where you move to, there will be negatives and positives. I guess the thing is to make a list and write down what is really important to you, the pros and cons of different options for living.

Moving further out you might find greater opportunity to meet people in the neighbourhood. An inner city place does not have to be dingy for long if you have the funds to brighten it up a little.

I have learnt that no matter where you move to, you take all your crap with you, you can keep entertaining your negative thoughts or decide to make a change and make the most of your new surroundings.

[Janeie]

Indeed all very good points.

Im not sure what to do about work. I just try to do the tasks I get as well as possible and spice them up a bit to make them a bit challenging.

It's crap but I need to try to be positive - and professional. Because the environment is toxic I sometimes find myself behaving in ways I'm not proud of and I hate myself for it.

I really want to be a good person, a positive and kind person.

[Janeie]

That's very brace of you to move to such a small town btw 😊

I hope you're enjoying the natural environment