Hey Gary,
You're doing super well to stay in there. It sounds like it's been really hard which is normal and it sounds like you do acknowledge that there are issues there which, again, is really great in terms of progress.
Perhaps these are more tips than advice, because you know how you're feeling.
Counselling - you can always be upfront with your counsellor and tell them you felt like last time may have been too much. It's good that you are struggling, but there's a delicate balance between struggling and being overwhelmed. To me, you should be able to leave the session in control of things, even if the issue isn't dealt with completely.
Drugs - if you find the side effects are too much and interfering with your daily life, it might be worthwhile telling your doctor. The side effects shouldn't last much more than a month each time you change, so if they continue and become disruptive, it's might be good to change to a different medication. They should be helping, not hindering.
Support from your wife - it's hard for people who don't have experience to understand what depression is like. It can really hurt us when the people we love say those things, but it comes from a place of non-understanding. Have you tried explaining to her what it's like? It could also help, possibly, to have a chat to your counsellor. They may have ideas including bringing your wife along for a session to help her understand.
Keep at it. You're doing really well, and please feel free to keep posting. We know from experience how hard it can be.
James
