Hi

[Me62]

I really don’t know where to start, I’ve been diagnosed with ptsd(c), borderline personality disorder, depression and very high anxiety. I’ve also got severe pain in both of my hands which makes it very difficult for me to use them , which doesn’t help my mental health. 

[mmMekitty]

Hello & welcome to the forum Me62.

Sounds like a lot going on for you.

I tend to wonder how people, such as yourself, cope with so much. What things are you doing now to cope when you are struggling? Are you able to talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling, about & what you can do to ease your mind & emotions?

Many people have written here of what they do to support themselves.

For myself, I've had to learn to acknowledge my thoughts & feelings without judging them. I talk to my Psychiatrist regularly. I'm learning to care for my physical health much more than I ever had before, too. When 'in a mood' & I am thinking, I don't want to do some basic things which are the things I do to care for myself, I have to tell myself to do them anyway. I don't have to like doing them, but doing them is good for me. These are things like getting up, showering, making a meal, brushing teeth - basic things. I find once up, it's easier to stay up & do more things.

May I ask, is there anything you can do to ease the pain in your hands?

You are welcome to look around the forums. Caring for yourself & others has many good discussions, as does Staying Well. I think that would be a good place to start.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Me62]

I live in a very very rural town,which means there’s no real support here , I do get a assessment on a yearly basis from a psychiatrist,who then writes to my gp to let him know what he thinks is wrong with me, I see a psychologist over zoom , for helping me deal with my anxiety, but so far nothing they have suggested has worked for the times I freak out the smaller ones the breathing technique works . I also try and understand my own thoughts without trying to judge myself, I do get out of bed every morning, I wake around 2am every morning, I do struggle getting myself to shower etc. as for the pain in my hands they have put me on pain medication which I take daily, they can’t operate cause it’s to close to nerves and I could end up with dead hands 

[jaz28]

Hi Me62,

I am sorry you have been struggling lately, it sounds like you have been going through a lot. Chronic pain is very taxing on your mental health, I have a chronic illness, and when it occasionally flares up the pain can be very hard on my mental health. Experiencing that pain must be very hard for you, I sympathize with you.

Would you consider seeing a pain specialist about your hands? Or maybe a health psychologist could help you work through the pain aspect of it. Maybe start by seeing your GP to discuss options.

I hope things improve soon,

Jaz xx

[Me62]

I forgot to put in , I do have a husband who I talk a little bit to but I can’t tell him everything that goes through my head I think it would scare him into leaving me , other than that I have no one , I don’t have friends as I really don’t like people there always seems to be some hidden agenda.

[Me62]

Thank you for your support.

I’ve discussed pain options with my doctor,I’m on hard pain killers,that’s all that he can do for me ,my pain is more like 24/7 , as for pain management I do breathing exercises to get through the pain until I can’t take it anymore. 
It’s very trying on my mental health it physically drains me , I get to a point where I feel like I want to bash them with a hammer or cut them off . I get so depressed about how little I can do,I feel more useless than I already am. What can they do for me, I’m 60 years old,probably to old now to help me,I just wish I had gotten help when I was younger. My whole life has been painful ( mentally) I hate this world,if it wasn’t for the fact that I have children I know for sure I wouldn’t be alive. I’m so very tired of this world………

[jaz28]

Me62,

I am sorry about the pain, it sounds so frustrating for you. You are so strong to still be here. I am sure your kids and family love and support you, so maybe lean on them for some support too.

I would again suggest seeing a health psychologist, they specialise in chronic pain and illness and have all kinds of other strategies to help you deal with the pain that your doctor may not have considered. It's worth a try I guess, if it is something you want to do.

Jaz xx