Hi...I'm new...

[Rishi]

Hey there...I'm struggling with what I want to say... I guess I'll let you know that I'm a 42yr old guy...married to my beautiful wife of 12 yrs and father to our two wonderful kids of 8 and 9. I'll be honest, the reason why I'm on this forum is because of my wife who has been my biggest supporter for the longest time and suggested that I may be able to get some help and support from others...

I think I was a 'normal' guy growing up - very active in sports, had lots of friends, loved the outdoors etc...Then I got a good job, met the girl that I wanted to spend my life with, got married...life was great! Then around the time we had our first child, things started to change. I started to distance myself from those friends and hobbies as my life was now my wife, daughter and me...Since then I've been withdrawn, negative, selfish, tired and just a bear to be around sometimes. This has severely affected my marriage to the point of my wife wanting a seperation. We thought that a cancer scare about 6yrs ago would have given me a new zest for life or the move from Canada to Australia 3.5yrs ago would have given me a spark...but nothing (or not much) has changed.

I've been on various medications for depression for the past +5 yrs and nothing has 'changed me'. I'm currently seeing a psychologist who is helping me to break down some of the walls I have so I can have a intimate and connected relationship with my wife and meaningful relationships with friends/family.

I'm looking for help from this community as I don't know what else to do. I desperately want to be a more fufilled and happier person and want to bring friendship, love, intimacy and support to my marriage. I say to myself that I'm taking medications for depression - but haven't really acknowledged that I have an illness called depression. I don't know how to deal with that illness and am looking for help.

There...that's me in a nutshell... Thanks for giving me the opportunity to share my story. I'm not too sure where to go from here, but I'm sure I'll find my way...

Rishi

[startingnew]

hi rishi

welcome to the forums 🙂

while im not in the same situation as you, i do have depression.

as a first step id reccomend going to see your gp and having a disussion about how you feel. they can do a mental health assessment and diagnose you with a mental illness. they can also perfom tests to see if its contributing to your low mood such as thyroid fucntion tests.

from there they can also give you a mental health care plan so you can see a psychologist to help you as well, with some sessions being able to have the medicare rebate (10 sessions from memory)

good luck with everything, let us know how you go 🙂

[white knight]

Hi Rishi, welcome

I can off you to read a few threads even if you just read the first post of each thread

Use google

Topic: be radical- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Topic: who cares for the carer- beyondblue

Topic: the timing of motivation- beyondblue

Post anytime.

Tony WK

[solabear]

Hi Rishi, welcome to the forum and I hope you will find it helpful. This is a wonderful supportive community and it's a good place to connect with others who understand your situation. I hope you will get a lot out of it.

You've tried different medications and seeing a counsellor already so you've done all the obvious and necessary steps to help yourself and you sound like a very intelligent person who has an insight and cares deeply about his family. Well done for doing all that and it shows that you try.

Is depression a mental illness? I don't know. I'm struggling with that question myself. Luckily AD works for me, but it's not the answer or the cure. It gives you a bit of relief, breathing space and lift in spirit so you are able to sort things out in your mind. I think it's a lot to do with our perception on life and how we perceive ourselves. But this is just my opinion.

I look forward to reading your posts

take care and hugs from Sola

[Rishi]

Thanks everyone for your posts so far...actually I'm very surprised and greatful that you have responded to me so quick.

startningnew - yes I have seen my GP and am currently on my 2nd Mental Health Care plan. I'm also getting my thyroid checked shortly via ultrasound. Good advise for newbees...!

white night -I'll be sure to check those posts...thx

sola - thx for the words of support...much appreciated

[startingnew]

HI Rishi

thats great you have that you have the support of your GP and a psychologist. im not really sure what else i can advise- im kinda new to this too and have only been diagnosed and getting help since november last year