Hi Sjleman
I am so glad that you have found yourself here at this really traumatic time, I am so very very sorry for the loss of your husband, the pain that you and your family are going through would be heart wrenching and I am so please you have reached out.
I just wanted to acknowledge what you said about "I should be on top of things."...there is no time frame to grief and the passing of your husband is so recent, please afford yourself the time and the space to grieve him and to grieve the loss of the part of you that has gone with him. There are no rules to this and you do it in the way that you need to. Please let no one make you feel like you "should" be doing better or "should" be looking after the children better, or "should" be doing anything other than being kind to you.
I am hoping that you have some family or friends that you can call on to help you, even just cook you a meal or come for a coffee so you can talk and work through your feelings. It is true that your children need you more than ever now, however, you need to be well and manage you before you can be your best for them, this takes time....
I hear you say you are feeling guilt for alot of things, if you feel like sharing them I am here to chat with you if you want to share, only if you want to tho.
Huge hugs to you Sjleman and to your precious children too.
Hope to chat some more.
AS
