Hi everyone

[SimmyN]

Hi, 

so im new to the forum. Forgive me if I get it wrong or there's any lingo I don't know. 

I'll start by introducing myself. So I'm simmy, I'm in a relationship. We have been together for 7 years. We don't seem to see eye to eye at the moment. There's been some issues arising for awhile but now it's all

hit the fan and I'm at the end of my rope. We have a 2 year old son. I have been struggling with my emotions and self worth since having our son. 

 i really hope having some people to talk to will help me feel like I'm not failing at being a mother. 

Thank you for reading this and I'll find my way around the forum and have a look at joining threads and maybe starting one. 

Simmy x

[Guest_1055]

Morning Simmy

If you like hugs, well I will give you a hug of welcome.

Is that you and your little two year old in the picture there? Along with ....what looks like a cuddly koala, asleep in a tree. Ah way cute.

And you haven't got it wrong, your introduction is good Simmy. No.... nothing wrong there, so please be reassured of that.

And I am sorry you are struggling at the moment, with your relationship with your partner, it is hard sometimes isn't it? And sometimes painful and frustrating as well. Do you have post natal depression or anything?

Yeah it is a good idea to just have a bit of a read on other threads. And maybe joining in on the discussions. Did you come across the women's forum as yet? There may well be something in there that you can relate too. And even starting your own thread sounds like a good idea.

Once again a welcome to you.

With love

Shell xx

[SimmyN]

I do like hugs lol thank you very much. 

 that is my son and I and yes it is a koala. It was his first time seeing them and he was very confused by them! He is used to cats and dogs (we have 2 of each)

 yhank you very much for replying to my introduction by the way. I appreciate it. I have had something since having my son. I'm not sure what. I can't work it out. I have a lovely doctor and I need to speak with her about how I feel but I also don't want to look like I can't hang it. Even though some days I don't know how to handle the simplest of things. I know my partner wants to understand but he doesn't seem to. He just brushes me off when I try to talk to him because he's not that kind of person. He prefers not to speak about things. He has the emotional levels of a rock. 

I did have a quick look around. Going to have a better look now that it's nap time in the house lol. Bit of freedom. I did see the women's section so I will have a look. I don't want to unload years of built up emotion on everyone in the first day lol gotta build up to my emotional baggage. I hate admiring I may actually need professional help. I just don't know how I can afford it. I'm a stay at home mum so I don't get much chance to do things by myself and when I do I get very anxious about going out. 

[White_Rose]

Dear Simmy

Welcome to the forum. Glad you found us. Don't worry about how much you unload. This is a place to vent, to get your feelings into the open.

Nap times are wonderful when you have a young child. I used to spend the time doing chores until I realised it was much better to put my feet up with a book and coffee.

I want to echo Shelley's comment about going to the doctor. You do sound depressed, though I hasten to add I am not a doctor so cannot give a diagnosis. If you do have Post Natal Depression (PND) then you definitely need some professional help. Have a chat to your GP who will be able to tell you all the available options. Depending on your depression, your GP may be able to manage this with or without medication, and this will cost whatever is the usual gap payment. Perhaps you have a doctor who bulk bills. That would be even better.

If your doctor feels you need some other help then he/she can explain all the available options.

It is difficult when your partner is unable to help you for any reason. When you have a look round explore the various information sheets and booklets and send for some of these. It may help if your partner would read some of this information because it always seems more credible coming from an organisation like BB.

In the meantime, can I suggest you find a suitable time and sit down and talk to him. Say you want to explain how you feel and why you are so tired. Depression is great for making you exhausted. Simply tell him your feelings without asking for anything, just to give him the information. It may be useful if you see your doctor first and get a diagnosis and a treatment plan.

I understand how hurtful it can feel when someone shrugs off your worries because they do not understand. Perhaps you can say you know he feels a little uncomfortable talking about feelings but it is important to you. In my opinion that is the most important reason for listening, because it is important to the other person.

I hope you will continue to write in here

Mary

Shelley - Great post.

[awesomenesstocome]

Hi Simmy, just because your relationship is breaking down doesnt make you a bad mother or person.  

When my marriage broke up I behaved badly seeing fellas, trying not to feel lonely.  All I ended up was ashamed and an embarrassment to my 16 year old.  I wasnt a good role model at all. I feel guilty, but have to be philosophical about that time.  Im in a 2 year relationship now and very in love, sometimes I feel like running. Im not sure why.  It is hard being in a relationship, so much give and take.  

I have an anxiety disorder which I am currently in a setback. 

I hope my words give you a feeling of not being alone in all this.  

Kind regards Tracy

[geoff]

dear Simmy, lovely to be able to talk with you, just as the others have done so.
Please don't punish yourself by how you feel and remember that most relationships have there times when you they go through a rough patch, but needless I'm sorry that you are experiencing a rough time.
I can really understand how you and other mothers feel after having a baby and what they may suffer from, because I also suffered from PND while trying to work, and it was very difficult.
It's not that you don't love your son, because you do, absolutely without doubt, but it's a change of life style so many patterns have to alter.
This is mainly to welcome you and hope that you can have trust in us all, because there are many who can relate exactly to how you feel. Geoff. x

[Guest_1055]

Hello Simmy

I was just thinking of you, and wondering how you are going? I do hope you are feeling better. Sending out another hug to you, in case you need or want one.

OK take care now.

Shell xx