Helping my partner with his Bi-Polar Disorder

[Ray612]

Hi

New to this and a little nervous. My partner has diagnosed bi polar, anxiety and OCD. He had a pretty severe mood episode over the last few days and it is the first he has had while we have been together. I am doing my best not to blame myself, or take it personally but it is hard. I know that his Dr is doing a new assessment as this episode was particularly bad (he was having suicidal thoughts). I just wonder what other partners of people with mental health issues do to help with feelings of helplessness or blame and how best I can support him through this.

Thanks

R

[Sophie_M]

Hi Ray612,

It can be challenging in knowing how to support loved one going through tough times. It sounds like the latest episode has taken a toll on both of you and it can be hard to not blame yourself. Mental illness is a tricky thing and it's no one's fault. It's just the way it is sometimes. Here are some supports for you to contact as seek advice on how best to support your partner.  

Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).  

MensLine Australia is a free 24/7 telephone and online counselling service for men with emotional health and relationship concerns. You can contact them on 1300 78 99 78 or https://mensline.org.au/ 

Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. They provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities and aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships.  

You are not alone and the community is here to support you.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I have bipolar2, depression, dysthymia (low mood constant depression) and anxiety that I eliminated (more on that later.)

I know what you are enduring because my wife has mentioned her difficulties to me. So based on that might I suggest-

• Change of environment (a drive in the country, the zoo, etc) this will get your partner focussed on observations
• Encourage a hobby, follow a sport. At one period I would have a huge jigsaw in a spare room and go there to do several pieces in complete quiet.
• Relaxation. I look at youube videos of Prem Rawat Maharaji. Have done so for 35 years. eg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhrtbBrMQ1Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpfuMFsBgNk&t=169s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X30sWycWz4o&t=78s

From a relationship viewpoint this thread you only need to read the first post

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues/relationship-...

What is not often talked about (and I dont want to scare you) is that 1 in 5 sufferers of bipolar do commit suicide. The stats are very high. So to help your partner avoid that road

• Try to get your partner to accept that these thoughts come and go and likely will throughout their life
• Sleep is essential, good sound sleep. https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/a-good-nights-deep-sleep---slee...
• Accept that few friends and relatives will understand. Best not to try to educate them too much as you'll be disappointed. That's the problem with an invisible illness.
• Regular reassurance, sometimes a hand on the shoulder is enough. This person is ill, their actions are often unavoidable.

There is lots of threads on this site you can put topics in the search bar at the top of the page.

Repost anytime.

TonyWK

[S_D]

Hey R,

Thanks so much for sharing. I've lived with a close loved one with BiPolar for many years and understand it can be tough when they are experiencing the highs and lows of the illness. I think what you've mentioned about not taking things personally is huge. I know it can feel personal at times although keep reminding yourself that this is to do with their health and not anything you have said or done. I also relate to your feelings of helplessness at times. Try to remind yourself that you are not their GP or therapist and it isn't your responsibility to fix them or heal them, i'm sure you being present and listening without judgement is going to very supportive for them and they are very lucky to have you in their lives. Make sure you are also getting all the support you need too, it's great you've posted on here and if you feel it would benefit you it may help to have your own counsellor or support group to confide in, or even just some trusted friends or family who you feel safe sharing this with. Things will get better and it's great to know his Dr is making a new assessment as it sounds like you're both taking all the right steps towards managing his mental health concerns. Hope this helps! Remember to do some self-care each week and don't forget to do things that are fun for yourself and together when you find the time.