Hello!

[Girl_alone]

Introducing myself to everyone after a morning spent trawling over the site. I find my self here as I have a husband suffering depression and I just don't know if I want to stick around any longer. He is finally on medication after a break down last year made him admit he actually had a problem. Before that, he was intolerable to live with. I just know if I'm still in love with him after all I have endured. I want a level of happiness and a partner in life who is truly there to listen and talk to. Mine still lives in his head most of the time and I feel lonely in the relationship. I just don't know where to go from here and what advice I should be considering.

thanks for listening.

[demonblaster]

Hey girl welcome 🙂

Very hard to be on receiving end

I know deep depression, & yeah it forces us to live in our heads, it takes us to such a bad place. Unfortunately lashing out I guess is a release, for many there's tremendous guilt I remember when I was young to parents, not now, I don't like to let it out on others.
Very hard to live with. It'd be so hurtful.

Sounds like the meds have eased his anger a bit, does he see anyone, psychologist counsellor etc. They can help with coping strategies and for unloading.

That he's admitted he has a problem with luck could be the beginning to getting through this but I do hear you that so much damage has been done. Understandable

Hope you feel you'd like to return and continue talking, let us know how you're going.

All best

[Quercus]

Hi Girl Alone and welcome,

First question that came to mind was does your husband know you feel this way? It is completely understandable that you feel this way. It never ceases to amaze me that my hubby sticks around. But everyone has their limits and that is ok.

Have you asked him to come to couples therapy with you? If not would this be something you would do? You married eachother for a reason sometimes we just need the wake up call to get out of our own heads and realise what we stand to lose.

I hope he is able to work towards improving things for you both.

Have you had a look in the threads for carers? There is a very useful thread pinned to the top by Carmela which I found very beautiful and helpful from the point of view of a wife with depression. Maybe get hubby to read that post to remind him he needs to take care of you too.

Take care of yourself and I hope you can keep talking.

Nat

[Quercus]

Hi Girl Alone, this is where to find the post....

Forums / Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition (carers) / Are you supporting a depressed partner? My tips from 18 years of experience

I hope showing this to hubby begins the conversation. You married eachother for a reason. I hope you are able to find that again.

Nat

[Girl_alone]

Thank you.

I will look back in. I clearly need to talk to people and get some care for myself. I'm going to take charge of that.

[Girl_alone]

Thank you.

im not sure if he will even have that discussion. I now find it very difficult to bring the topic up with him as I think he just wants to forget about it. Like everything is fixed now.

i think I'll start with seeing someone on my own first. It might give the strength I need.

[demonblaster]

Yw 🙂

Sounds like a good idea seeing someone cause you'll always have here but a professional would no doubt have good coping skills to offer and more support that's needed.

Shame he's got that mindset, liked that Quercus said is he aware how you feel, good point, maybe if he knows it could boost him to do more to change the situation.

Thx for coming back and keeping us in the loop, be keen to hear how it all goes

GL 🙂