Hello out there!

[Scrivener]

Hello,

I've never done anything like this before. I am a very private person and quite self-conscious even though people say that I am confident and even a bit brash. Like a lot of people, I guess, I project my professional persona in public and shield myself from harm or criticism by hiding my true self. Nothing nefarious, just a protective instinct born from life-long criticism from parents and siblings and high expectations of perfection and competitiveness. 

I have been subjected to bullying, harassment, threats (both physical and psychological) death threats and home invasions over the last twenty -odd years. My wife and I have moved home four times in the last ten years to try to get away from crazy neighbours (I know it sounds like a problem with me but I/we have been very unlucky). Currently, I am being targeted by a narcissistic, passive-aggressive, antagonistic bully who constantly watches me and provokes me to try to get a reaction so they can report me to the police because they are convinced that I am a criminal even though I have repeatedly advised them that I am a very well qualified professional with no criminal record and multiple security clearances. 

I have been working with my psychologist for PTSD, anxiety and mild acrophobia for many years. I get to a good place but then something will trigger me and I regress. I just want to find peace and I want to be left alone. 

The police can't help me because the actions of my insane neighbour are "not serious enough" or "not a criminal offence". My wife and I have communicated with the neighbour but they will not stop. 

I don't have any close friends and I find it hard to make friends as I find small talk difficult and end up giving people a resume of my achievements rather than being relaxed and open. I am afraid that I am not interesting enough.

Obviously, my wife loves me, understands and accepts me. 

I want to make friends though. I love History and Literature. I built plastic models as a hobby. I love gardening and being outdoors. I grew up on farms and I am a first-generation Australian as my parents both immigrated as children. 

Anyone who has dealt with this type of person can you please help with what worked for you.

Thankyou kindly.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome 

With neighbours I've reduced my contact with a wave and if close a "good morning". The trick is not to expect and reply and if you get one, if it isn't a question then just go about my day. Try not to get caught up with their antics and if they are enemies, still wave.

Hobbies unite people, try the local men's shed.

We are individuals and some of us aren't social butterflies, it's OK to reduce the number of people you are in contact with. Perhaps like me, take up slot cars or model trains or flying model planes. These are the good hobbies for guys and easier to make friends that way.

I hope that helps.

TonyWK 

[G_S]

You seem very interesting and someone I would love to talk with. You like history and literature and you are very articulate. Even the way you signed off ‘thank you kindly’ is something that I appreciate. 

Do you like to read? 
What aspects of history do you like? 

[G_S]

Hi 

How are you? Do you struggle with mental health or are you someone who just likes to interact and be kind to others. I’m just saying hello. 

[Scrivener]

Hi TonyWK! 

Thankyou for your reply.

Unfortunately, these people, if you can call them that, are super -serious enemies. So much so that my wife and I had to take out Intervention Orders against them (stalking, spying, peeping Tom stuff, constantly monitoring us, dobbing us in to the cops by making false and malicious accusations, making implications that I am a drug manufacturer [ I am a very well qualified professional as is my wife and we both have multiple clearances. They know this but they still managed to get Star Force officers to attend our home on a Saturday while my wife was resting after chemo], damaging my reputation etc. Still didn't stop them though. They are very adept at what they do and "walk the line". We believe that they must have been doing this sort of thing for a very long time. 

We have absolutely nothing to do with them, as per SAPOL advice but they know my triggers and provoke me on a daily basis. Thankfully, I am smart enough not to react but it is very hard. I get so frustrated with the authorities and angry with them. I feel powerless and sometimes it affects my relationship with my wife (we are strong and all good though but it does add unnecessary stress). 

I just want these fools to leave me/us alone.  They have never told us why they hated us from the day moved in - not even in court!

Anyway, thanks again for your advice.

[Scrivener]

Hi G_S!

I like Classical Civilizations and I also have a very keen interest in Middle Eastern history and politics from WW1-present. 

I love to read! Mainly Sci-fi, alternative history, true war stories, and anything about cars, aircraft, space or speculative fiction.

How about you? You also seem very kind I get intuitions about people). 

Thankyou for your compliments. 

[Scrivener]

Hi again G_S!

I suffer from diagnosed PTSD due to two home invasions in the early 2000s. The first one I was out and came home to a smashed back window and all my valued possessions gone, and I mean everything! They damaged walls and smashed furniture. The most psychologically damaging thing was losing my Great Grandfather's fob watch. 

The second time I arrived home from my parents with my dog, exited car, let dog out of carry cage (Jack Russell) and dog goes nuts and runs to the fat end of the back veranda. I follow, lift up bind and there is to this guy standing there! I asked him, in the most polite way 😉, what the ####he was doing? He says that he is "a fencing contractor who has been asked by the old lady next door to look at the fence." I advise him that it is 9:00pm in winter and how the #### did he get into my property? 

He turns and tries to jump the fence but my dog latches onto his ankle. I pick up a piece of 2x4 I just happen to have nearby for these occasions. He says "I will harm your dog!" My response: " I'll get a shovel for you so you can dig two holes, one for the dog and one for you !" Dog let's go and he jumps fence. I call cops. They catch him within 20 mins and tell me that he has been breaking into homes in the area by pretending to be an odd jobs man and preying on oldies. 

Then, ten years later, I subdivided the block but ended up selling to a crazy Eastern European couple who gave me hell over a 1cm discrepancy in the fence line! He came to my front door and threatened to harm me! His brother was a bike. 

So I moved. 

I met my wife and moved in with her and that was OK until we moved to a home in a flatter suburb (wife has PSA). Little did we know that we moved in next to an alcoholic, drug addicted ex truck driver who got sacked from his job and his wife had just left him. He was a violent, angry man. He would do burnouts in his crappy Ford in front of our house and play loud heavy metal and he had three crazy teenage boys. The property was a wrecking yard! I had a plumber doing work one day and he accosted him and his Downs son who was helping him. I went out to tell him to leave my tradies alone and he threatened to harm me and my wife and our dogs. 

So we moved...

..

To our current location next to more crazies. ☹️

We have just been so unlucky. We are peaceful people. My wife is quite ill and I just want them to leave us alone. They definitely have "issues". 

So, yes, I have diagnosed mental health issues (PTSD, anxiety,/stress, mild agrophobia, lost confidence and agency in my own life). I have spent many years with my psychologist trying to get better. She is really good and I have some good tools at my disposal but I "fall down" sometimes. 

Sorry for the essay but I am trying to be more open with people. 

Thankyou for listening (or reading at least). 🕊️

[Scrivener]

PS: I also have a hearing disability as I lost all my high-tones and half my mid-tone hearing when I was very young. I coped most of my adult life but missed out on a lot of schooling because I didn't have hearing aids because my parents were migrants who didn't know about govt assistance. I have only had my hearing aids for the last ten years (I am middle -aged). I also have a younger brother who has been fighting a rare and aggressive cancer most of his life (the last 20 years) and I "lost" my nephew (a gifted lad) suddenly in 2020. 

So I guess I might have a royal flush of troubles although, as they say, there's always someone worse off. 

That's enough of the sad stuff, let's "Turn on the sun!" as some of us of a certain age will remember. I don't have any children but I have three "fur babies" and I have the puppy on my lap at the moment. ♥️🐕

[G_S]

That’s great that you’ve got those interests. I’m sure you would be a wealth of knowledge. I don’t really know anything about those topics. Except what I learnt about the world wars from collage. Just the surface. 

I do a lot of scrolling online and looking up things that come to mind. Lately I’ve been reading a lot about mental health and trying to improve that. That’s kind of taken over but I love biographical stories from any point in history. 

not sure if it’s relevant but I love the Netflix series called Anne. It’s an adaption of Anne of Green Gables. 

I also read a lot of Sociology. 

hope you’re keeping well. 

[G_S]

Thank you for sharing. I really hope you find the discussion posts helpful and anything else you’re doing. It’s great to be able to share our lives, especially the painful aspects because they shape us deeply. With lots of persistence and support, they can shape us into the people we desire, rather than bury us under a pile of rumble. (Shame, fear, sadness) 

Hope you have a wonderful day.