Hello, I can see there is a lot of young people struggling. I'm 47 and had anxiety and depression all my life, no one called it that, I was a "sensitive, shy" child. I've been to the place of "it's just not worth it", and what am I hear for. This world isn't for me, I don't fit, cause I am just so different to most people. Thing is everyone here is similar to me, you aren't alone, and who cares if you don't fit. Don't get me wrong, every day I have to get over my fear, pack my lunch bag and go to work. I've worked since I was 15. These days you guys can take a mental health day, if you need it. I want to hide, people are awful and I wish I wouldn't have to face them every day but I need to live, pay my mortgage and put food on the table. I'm a functional anxietist. If you ask yourself what your purpose in life is, don't look at your friends and those huge dreams, look at the day to day stuff, the little things, cause those little things, really do make big things grow. I realised that what I wanted was a house, some land, a horse, dogs, not too far from the ocean and enough money to not struggle. I have all that. Please realise, even with medication you will be dealing with this ALL your life. You have great days and then there are the really black ones, but you come out of it, maybe not stronger, but wiser, with new ways of dealing with it, or the realisation that you can deal with those days. Suicide isn't the answer, it is an easy way out for you, but your actions will destroy the people close to you, no matter how few there are. I've seen it, I've experienced it, it's not a solution.
I've seen counsellors and I've taken medication, I've grown and I understand my parents now and why they did what they did. It's easy to "blame" others for how you may be, but we do have to take responsibility and make peace. Making peace is the most important thing. "Fighting" this isn't the answer, accepting it and working with it as best as you can, is the only way. Seek help, got to the gym, go for a walk every day. You do have to put the hard work in, it's not easy, nothing ever is, I don't know how I do it most days and most days I don't want to,but I do. Try to not listen to the negative people, try not to care what others think of you. Don't use your condition as a reason to not try, EVERYONE has their demons. Learn to live with them.
Chin up, smile, let the sun shine on you and become that functioning person, that tries to make a good day for themselves every day.
