Dear AnotherPeter~
I'd like to give you a warm welcome back to the forum, and know that life has not been that kind to you in the years in between your last visit. Even back then there was isolation, mental health treatments and problems with medication plus a worker's comp dispute.
It has not left you in a good place, your account of your life now is a lonely and hard one. Than again that is not really becuse you are in any way less than anyone else, many people would have ended up the same when faced with all you have lived though.
Can I ask you what you would like? To see your sons more, to be less reliant on drink, have a better place to live - or to be on friendly terms with others? These are just my guesses, I could be completely wrong.
What I am getting at is you have something you want and get it. I was invalided out of my job and it seemed there was nothing to live for, in fact I tried to take my life. I did not realise it then but I needed something to be, something to do. I was pushed into another walk in life and started learning about it, then became quite good at it and went from there.
I guess one of the most important things it gave me was daily contact with reasonable people, some of whom became good friends over time.
I learned my view of the world when my job was no longer there was wrong. There is more, and now I'd not give my life away, I enjoy it.
I hope you can see what I'm getting at, if you can find something to change your life, even a little, it could make you have something to look forward to.
Please don't think I'm trying to tell you what to do, just echoing what has happened to me
Croix
