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First time user

Community Member

Hello All

Ive joined this forum to introduce myself as a long time anxiety and depression survivor. If you met me you’d never believe I have suffered this most of my adult life. On the surface I have a sunny disposition and when I’m feeling good can light up a room like no other. When I’m in the grips of this “thing” I am a fraction of my self and can barely get the words out. As with most of us who reside in this unbearable Club of Despair I have learned all the tactics to appear entirely’normal’. This is of course only multiplies the effect.
I am successful professionally, have a loving family and a valuable and close network of friends. This is the enduring conundrum. All of this middle class privilege and opportunity and I still wake up with a head that wants to explode and adrenalin surging through my body. It doesn’t add up. On a recent trip to India I witnessed unspeakable poverty and social dislocation. But I was struck by the enormous resilience and optimism within the population that defied the circumstances.
anyway, thought I’d just throw this ramble up to get things going. Thanks for listening..Stevie O

4 Replies 4

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Hi Stevie O and welcome to the forums.I think a lot of us hide how we are really feeling when out in public.No one knows what really is going on in our lives.How we struggle from day today.They don't see me crying alone and scared.I come on here so I can be open and honest with my struggles,just to have someone to listen to me.I hope you can find these forums helpful for you in this caring environment.
Take care,

Community Member

Hi Stevie,

I feel much like you do - I have a successful job, beautiful family (though, not my own spouse or kids), my own home, and things should be great - no?

But I wake up most days with butterflies in my stomach - the kind that feels good if, say, you're about to meet the person of your dreams, but not so pleasant if it lingers... Sometimes I can't quite pinpoint what I am worried about or unsatisfied about.

But what I've learnt is that just because someone else shows resiliences in their own trying circumstances doesn't mean your reason for feeling this way is any less genuine. It's all relative.


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Stevie O, thank you for your introduction but I haven't been to India and believe that these people do have enormous resilience and optimism defying their circumstances.

There are many people who have posted on this site who have been successful in business, have a loving family and entertain themselves with friends, but underneath it's a front, simply because they're pretending but suffering from anxiety and depression, too frightened to open up in fear of being ostracised, however, this is a condition that needs all the attention by someone who knows the situation you're in and wats to help you.

We forget that it's impossible to hide this all the time, there are times when for some reason our mood does change and an unexpected reaction by our family, workmates or friends surprises not only them but you as well, but don't blame yourself.

The longer we procrastinate the worse our situation becomes and the more complex itis to overcome and normally we can't do this by ourselves, we need the help beginning with our doctor, they have to diagnose our condition and then appropriate treatment provided.

Hope to hear back from you.


Community Member

Hi Stevie,

I know what you mean. It's like I'm not entitled to suffer from anxiety and depression because of a privileged life. I should be grateful for the picture-perfect family I have. Instead I get extreme anxiety when they're at home. I have germs-anxiety, people-anxiety, and noise-anxiety. My head gets into a mess when I hear them talking downstairs or the sound of their footsteps moving around the house. I would lose my concentration immediately, whether I'm on my computer or watching tv. My house has a long hallway downstairs. Getting from one end to the other is always stressful - the constant fear of someone coming out of a room along the way. The sound of a door opening makes me jump every time. It's the feeling of being attacked and I need to hide. I know the thoughts are irrational but I cannot get rid of the triggers.