Hi all, I'm a Newbee

[3xPMsR-Enablers]

I would just like to say a quick hello to everyone and to wish you all the best. I've joined because I'm finding it so hard not being able to talk to anyone close to me about what happened to me because of the hurt and discomfort it causes them. Several of my loved ones have distanced themselves since I told them what happened. I think it might be because they think I will bring it up when their friends are present or other mutual friends who don't know. I have a lot to learn about dealing with it all, and dealing with the changes to every relationship with people I've told. Only a very small few haven't changed.

[Ggrand]

Dear 3xPM sR-Enablers...

Welcome to our forums...

Sometimes our friends do find listening to things about what happens to us...can make them feel uncomfortable and hurt...I feel that’s because they love and care for you dearly and don’t like hearing about things that cause you hurt or pain...maybe they hurt when you hurt...

I think the best way to get what happened to you would be to make an appointment a long appointment and have a talk to your Dr..about it...Your Dr can then set you up with a mental health care plan...which entitles you to 10 free visits a year with a professional physiological...They are train to listen and help you to overcome any mental health problems caused by what happened to you...

Friends are beautiful to have.... unfortunately they don’t always think like we do and some move on to other friends and others stay in our lives....for years and sometimes a life time....

Please continue to talk here when you feel up to it...Here for you along with the other lovely community members here...

My kindest and most caring thoughts..

Grandy..

[LilBirdy]

Newbie here too & also felt I needed somewhere new to gain support, last thing I need is to alienate anymore friendships..
It's so hard when things are tough and people turn a blind eye.. especially when loads of things are tough all at once!!
Think we have found a safe place here 🙌

[smallwolf]

hi all... and welcome to the forums.

Yes, this is a safe place to write. some friends might understand what you are going through and others may not. It is equally difficult to know or work out how one friend might respond. Even people in our family may not know how to respond or want to know all the details. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who has been where you are. And IRL that can be hard.

You are right LilBirdy... this is a safe place here, where you can write what is not your mind and other users here will not judge you. Rather they will respond with support and concern. It might not be the same as talking to someone. On the flip side you may even get multiple replies .

And if you decide to get into specifics or share your story here,our replies we can also reply with ideas on what has helped us along the way.

Wishing you all well - Tim

[ecomama]

Hi 3xPM & LilBirdy (and a wave to Grandy & smallwolf!)

Hello lovelies and a warm welcome to the forums.
YES you'll find this a SAFE space to pour your hearts out to whatever extent you need to!

You will also find so many others who have been through very similar to whatever it is you're eluding to.
I think I know what it is but in your own time.

I'm sorry to say that nothing would shock the members of this forum, even if the events are incredible shocking and traumatic.

You're sharing with a whole bunch of survivors and thrivers.
So many of us can directly empathise with whatever it is you've been through.

Indeed sharing traumatic events with people who are close to us, can alienate them for whatever reasons they have.
Or for no reason at all in our minds.

I think it's fear tbh.

I think, over time as you share more here AND share more with a trusted Counsellor or psych, or helpline Counsellors and psychs, the huge amount of emotional and psychological reaction will lessen (I hope this to be the case anyhow!) and you will be able to discern more WHO to share with and who to keep stuff to yourself with.

Not everyone deserves to hear your most critical stories.
Not everyone has earnt the right to hear about your inner most trauma.

People who have earnt the right to hear it will respond kindly and compassionately.
Then "be there" for the long haul with you.

The forums will be here for the long haul for each of you and there is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about AT ALL.

Lots of love
EM

[Guest_4643]

Hi 3xPM'sR-Enabler (interesting username haha), welcome.

I'm really sorry to hear that your "friends" have left you, they're obviously not real friends, and you're better off without them, I know it's hard and easier said than done. You're a great person by the sounds of it and they're too stupid and rude to see that. But we see it here, we'll be your friend. We're here for you, and won't leave you.

Are you ok?

PS - hey LilBirdy, welcome also. I love your username and profile picture. I hope you both find support here.