First post

[Mishy29]

I am completely new here and I don't really know what to post. I have been struggling with mental health issues for a while now, but I was only officially diagnosed this week. I was previously told that I have a mixed anxiety depression disorder. As of a few days ago, I was diagnosed (by a psychiatrist) with the following:

-Generalised Anxiety disorder (also causing low mood and caused by complex trauma)

-Complicated Grief disorder

-Likely Autism Spectrum Disorder (further assessment recommended)

I have been trying so hard over the past couple of years to deal with everything and I have tried a number of things to help including a few recovery programs, psychotherapy (ongoing psychology sessions), relaxation techniques, exercise, deep breathing exercises, meditation, caffeine reduction, journaling and medications (and probably other things that I haven't listed). I still though can't shake the feeling that I don't really know why I am here or what the point of it all is (but I also know that this is the illness talking and not reality).

I feel incredibly grateful and lucky for what I have in my life, but I feel guilty that despite knowing that I am incredibly lucky, that I often feel miserable. I do have some days that are better than others and I can also see that I have made some progress since my journey started. I am still determined though to get through all of this and find a way to have a meaningful and good quality of life. I am particularly struggling at the moment with separating my work and personal life and I find that work stress is not as easy for me to deal with compared to the past (some of my traumas come from work situations). It also doesn't help that I deal with several chronic illnesses on a daily basis. I think though that given what I have had to deal with, I should give myself some credit for how I have managed things and how I have kept going no matter what.

I will aim to read others posts over the coming days and hopefully I will also be able to contribute to some of these posts.

[smallwolf]

Hello and welcome to the beyond blue forums.

The people here are supportive and non judgemental. That you are able to find some positives is really good. My only understanding when it comes to mental health is that it can take some time to get to a position we might call better... Compared to previously.

What I can say to you now is that while you are here and on this journey we will support you and reply as we can - because you are worth it.

[geoff]

Hello Mishy, sometimes we just sit at home and wonder what type of response we'll get if we post on a depression site, may be just out of curiosity, and when we do, it allows us to vent our feelings and once we do this it does feel good, because writing it down may be easier than telling somebody.

Suffering from chronic illnesses may seem to be personal but not if it concerns you to the point where you want to talk about it, especially if it begins to cause some type of depression.

Good to hear from you.

Geoff.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Mishy29,

Thank you for finding the courage and strength to post in our forum. As you are already discovering, we are a very helpful and supportive community.

As your situation is primarily around trauma and anxiety, we would like to encourage you to start a thread in the trauma area of the forum where you will be able to engage in a more intensive discussion if desired. This forum must remain general in nature.

We understand that Autism Spectrum Disorder, ASD, is a complex Mental Health situation. Often people who are diagnosed with ASD understand and perceive the world in quite different ways when compared with the average, neurotypical person's perceptions and understanding of the world. These differences can cause significant confusion and frustration for the person with ASD. As many of the Autism support services and organisations are primarily focused on supporting children with ASD, we would like to encourage you to seek out a mental health professional who specialises in working with adults who have ASD.

Again, welcome to our supportive and nonjudgmental community. We look forward to sharing this part of your journey with you. We are always here for you.

Warm regards,

Sophie M.
 

[Mrs Bean]

Hi Mishy29,

Thank you for your post, and for being so open and honest about you mental health issues and challenges.

Glad that you have some diagnoses of what the underlying causes are or are likely to be.

It’s tough to live a life with mental health issues.. I know because I do most days and have my good days and bad days as well. I also have some similar conditions to yourself.

What I do know is that we are all unique and awesome and incredible human beings. Think of yourself as a baby, and how much love you would give to that child. We all stumble sometimes, and it’s not our fault a lot of the time. Life can just be a ‘reality check’ in itself and challenging to navigate.

Well done for what you have achieved so far though!! I am sure there are many accomplishments that you can write down or even say out loud to yourself.

Keep focussing on the positives and trust in your ability as it will serve you well, especially if you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed, or tired or both. Take a rest if you need to.

I hope you have some activities you really enjoy, and can spend some time on to give you a sense of satisfaction and happy vibes 🙂

You are more than just ‘bad stuff’ that may be getting you down.. complex people are beautiful people and sometimes find it hard to fit in and be recognised for their abilities.

Keep going and chipping away at your dreams and hopes for the future. I am a big fan of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy that helps provide a rational thought against a worry or negative emotion, like “I am not a good person to be around and feel overwhelmed by emotions when I shouldn’t”, should be “I have had a full-on couple of days, with limited support and understanding for my needs. I have done well and completed the work needed, and can now relax and take it easy”.

Thanks again Mishy29 and stay positive:-)

Kind regards,

Mrs Bean