first post

[Guest_9462]

hi folks. im Max. feeling bit out of sorts lately. cause everytime i say exactly how i feel, people cant handle it and usualy try and have me committed. so i never say how i feel... not any more... any way.. was very disappointed in. my mother wanting to be with her friends instead of me on mothers day. and for a mother who abandoned her kids many times i guess i should have expected it..

[Croix]

Dear Max

Welcome here to the Forum, I hope you find it a friendly place where you can say how you feel. There is a lot of experience here and nobody is going to be anything except understanding.

So would you like to say how you do feel? While we would like to try to help, even if only by saying what has happened to us it does help if you said more, that way we can do more than just talk in general.

Having a mother who has abandoned her kids in the past is a horrible thing to try to deal with. Do you have any brothers and sisters? Sometimes kids can support each other in hard times. Is there anyone in your family or friends to talk with who will not panic if you are frank?

I hope to hear from you

Croix

[geoff]

Hi Max, thanks for coming to the forums.

Your mother who has abandoned her kids is disgraceful and you deserve to be upset, I would feel exactly the same as you.

That's why she has no regard to what you want to say or how much you need her help and it's not a pleasant situation, that's why we feel your pain and we are so sorry for you.

Here is a great place to talk to so many people who have had to struggle through their own type of depression, we can feel your sorrow and want to help you, as Croix has said.

There is no disrespect on what you want to say when you talk with us, so please come back and say what you want to, we will do our very best to assist you through this as much as we can.

Take Care.

Geoff.

[Guest_9462]

Hi Croix, sorry about late reply..I've been put of control lately...I have severe depression and anxiety..with my ptsd And recent cotards syndrome .yes, I convinced myself I died when I suffered two life threatening illnesses..and I had zero support..no one..

[Guest_9462]

Hi Geoff, sorry for late reply..havnt bee well all..been battling my cotards syndrome alone

[Croix]

Dear Max~

I am pleased to hear from you anytime, even if things are bad. I must admit I had to look up cotards syndrome, it sounded most frightening and provably disorienting to.

Having these illnesses you really do need lots of support, and it is a great shame you do not have it.

May I ask if you have a good medical team? GP, psychiatrist etc? I've found it makes an awful lot of difference to find competent people that understand and are able to deal with things.

I don't know if you are the same but I've actually found being in hospital has helped - but then again maybe I have been lucky. Do you mind if I ask if you have been hospitalized, and if so how you found it?

One of the things I became able to do sitting on the ward was read, to bury myself in different happier worlds that make me forget the real world for a little while. For me it made a huge difference.

Do you have any pastimes you can look forward to and enjoy?

Croix

Distraction and enjoyment

[Desedrata]

Hello, I'm sorry your mum did not want to spend mother's day with you. Being rejected by family really sucks but in your disappointment please don't be to angry with her. Some people just aren't warm and fuzzy. Not everyone is capable of empathy.

Sometimes I feel like I am in pergatory because I attempted suicide so, I was punished to live the life I tried to leave behind. I am an athiest and know this is not so, but it niggles at me, you know, that what if?.

Anyway, I don't really know much about your ailment other then what I saw on the sitcom Scrubs and some how I don't see that being a reliable source.

I have PTSD and as a result see, hear and smell things that aren't there. For the most part I can tell the real from the unreal but sometimes I start to struggle and lose grip with reality and have to medicate myself. So, whilst we are not going through the same thing I am sure there are bits and pieces from each others experiences we can relate to. You are not alone, you are unique and amazing and we except you as you are. Welcome.

[Guest_9462]

Hi Croix....yes, I have hobbies..I write songs and play guitar..self taught...I have don't art..but it's too time consuming and expensive ...I write poetry..I wrote a short fantasy story.but destroyed it..son es one tried to copy it...no i don't want a permanent doctor..because Drs get too lazy...and no..I don't see a specialist..not any more ..

[Croix]

Dear Max~

it sounds like you might have had a bad run with doctors, some indeed just go though the motions. I've been pretty lucky, my psychiatrists have kept on plugging away trying different meds and therapies until now I'm pretty good. Little in the way of side effects and the ups and downs are manageable and smaller.

It did take a while. GPs I just use for referrals and for physical matters, and even there, by and large, I've done OK.

Having an outlet such as music can make world of difference, it's probably a more positive thing than me, I just absorb what others have written. Would you like to say what sort of music you write or like?

Do you just play for yourself or in front of others at times?

Croix

[Croix]

Dear Desedrata~

I'd like to talk more with you, as someone who has PTSD, reacts to smells etc and used to find waht was real was hard to make out I would like it if we could compare experiences or just chat about it -do you have your own thread?

Thanks

Croix