Hi, I'm having one of those nights where sleeping is impossible and my brain is on some kind of loop.
Ive been feeling an increased need to connect with someone but I'm not comfortable with the idea of seeing a psychologist or counselor in person.
I have a lot that needs unpacking but I don't really know where to begin.
Recently I've been feeling a deep loneliness where it feels like I have absolutely no one who cares about me. I literally do not have one single friend. I'm currently unemployed and I sit at home and study and wait for my mum to come home from work. I might see an old school friend down the street and say hello, i suggest we catch up soon, they say that will be good, and then nothing happens. I can't help but feel rejected and like there is something fundamentally wrong with me. I hate feeling this self pity, but sometimes i cant move through it.
I have been diagnosed with bipolar type 2, although im not entirely sure if this is accurate. I have a history of substance abuse and I have childhood trauma ive never shared with anyone.
I've mostly posted this to release the negative energy it brings me so that hopefully I can sleep but if anyone reads this and can point me in the direction of a particular forum that might be of use to me.. That would be very much appreciated.
I hope you are all well
