Feeling Wrong

[DotaJo]

Hello
Something just feels wrong pretty much all of the time and has for as long as I can remember. I have an almost constant mild headache in the front of my head which can intensify during social situations. I am tired all the time even though I get 8 hours most nights, eat relatively healthy and exercise most weeks.
On paper everything in my life is perfect I grew up in a loving home and now I have a wife and a daughter that loves me and I love them. I work with good people and my job is interesting, flexible and pays well. I have had medical check ups and physical I am very healthy.
But I just don't want to go to work and when I am there I am quiet if not silent and grumpy. I zone out during family time and I am constantly on the verge of tears. For a long time I have just been uncomfortable but for the last year or so I have been misery to be around and it is start to affect my family my friend and my work.
I just don’t know what to do.

[Croix]

Dear DotaJo~

Thank you for posting and telling us about this problem. It sounds as if it has been wearing you down and is something that should not be allowed to keep on going as is.

As you say you seem to have a picture-book life, with a loving family and congenial and satisfying job. Unfortunately you are in the situation of not knowing what's wrong and it is not only affecting you, but family and colleagues too.

As you mention regular medical checkups let's leave physical ailments to one side for a moment.

A long time ago I felt similar symptoms, headaches, fatigue, feel isolated, just want to be alone or not interact, plus many others. These were later diagnosed as depression and anxiety. It could be that you are suffering from one or both of these - at least to some extent.

If it was me I'd book a long appointment with my doctor. Then, at my leisure I'd write everything down, your past state, how long it's been going on. What's your situation now and how you feel. Don't leave anything out, it might be important. That way you will get a qualified diagnosis and know what's wrong.

I suggest writing as in my own case I did not think I could set everything out properly in a face to face situation, so I handed over the paper and went though it with the doctor.

If you are diagnosed with either of these, or other, illnesses you may be given meds, appointments with a psychologist, therapy and guided self-help.

I made a big mistake. I soldiered on alone for years and as a result my condition grew greatly worse, and was that much harder to treat as a result. I"m pretty good now, though not entirely cured, and that is probably why.

Such illnesses are like any other, and can strike just about anybody. With support (which you have in your family) plus treatment most get better.

If you look in The Facts menu above you will find information on depression and anxiety, causes, symptoms and treatments. You may also like to browse those sections of this Forum and see how other people have coped.

I'd look forward to it if you would post again and say how you are getting on.

Croix

[BballJ]

Hi DotaJo,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

Croix has given some great advice above and I would simply like to echo those comments. Put the physical stuff aside and speak to your GP about your mental health... I had many symptoms for year before I was officially diagnosed with anxiety. They were headaches, heart racing, dizziness to name a few but there is a long list of symptoms that can contribute to anxiety and other mental health concerns. Croix also said to write everything down about how you are feeling as it can help the GP and if you need to see a psychologist later on then can be helpful. The key here is being as honest and open as you can with the GP and Psych as that is how to get proper help, many people struggle to open up (myself included) but when you do, the feeling of this weight being lifted off your shoulder is great. I am not saying you have any mental health issues either just advising almost what my symptoms and what not were.

We are always here if you want to post and talk about anything regarding how you are feeling.

My best for you,

Jay

[geoff]

hello DotaJo, well I can't say much more than what Croix and Jay have said, it's good advice, but one thing you mustn't do is procrasinate, hoping that it will go away, depression just doesn't go away by itself, although it may seem as though you are getting better, but that's only a smoke screen which may make you pretend that everything is OK, but it still comes back in strength.
Depression can't be seen with any physical signs, like a broken leg, only by emotional, unhappiness and how you feel generally, so perhaps your doctor can give you a blood test to begin with, plus there is a test for depression so google K-10 or you will be able to find it under 'The Facts' on the top of this page, this will give you a score which you can then take to your doctor.
Let us know what score you get. Geoff.