Facebook addict, help required

[sunrise1903]

Hi,

Im sunshine1903, a 31 year old from Western Australia and I've never reached out online before.

In real life I present my self as a happy and bubbly person , never admitting to anyone when I'm angry, sad or upset. I don't even think I could pick up the phone and genuinely admit to anyone that I could call my friends how I am feeling. This lead me here.

i am currently caring for my mother who has cancer, she is living with me and my husband and almost two year old. It has been tough. My mother is in out hospital every couple or so weeks. I have a demanding toddler who still doesn't sleep and I feel like I actually don't love my husband anymore.

I'm stuck and stranded in a life that no one else would want, including me.

im not actually sure what I want out of this forum, replies would be great. I just find myself playing on my phone all night avoiding talking to my husband so instead of refreshing my Insta and Facebook a million times (because I like looking at everyone else's life) I'll do my best to contribute here.

This is really the tip of the ice bergs and I don't know what else to do.

[white knight]

Hi sunrise, welcome

I was addicted, well almost, so self regulation was needed. In fact before regulation I had a break from it for 6 months.

When I returned I made some promises. No more than 100 friends. Not more than 2 hours a day.

But your marital problems deserve counseling imo. Give it a try. I hope mum us ok.

Google these

Topic: why social media is no good for you- beyondblue

Tony WK

[Mathy]

Hi Sunshine and welcome,

Things seem pretty tough for you at the moment. The FB and Insta thing is an easy way to distract from the everyday stuff, that’s obviously getting you down, and maybe you’re overdoing it a bit. But, having a Mum with cancer is a pretty scary thing, no wonder communication and family life have taken a beating.

Could you talk to anyone if they were around? For example, there’s probably a support service for carers of cancer patients at the hospital you Mum goes to, perhaps check that out.

If your 2yo is not sleeping well, then perhaps best to seek some advice on that? Your local health centre/GP may be the best place to start.

And perhaps some respite from both your Mum and your child - so you and your husband can go out for lunch/dinner and spend some one on one time - would be good, now that’s where family or close FB friends could come in handy if you were willing to speak with people.

And yes, perhaps some counselling for yourself and hubby might be needed.

One thing at a time, though - choose something and try and make a move towards changing it. You’re going through a difficult time, cheers M 🙂

[geoff]

hello Sunrise, I can see that you've got so many things happening at the same time, but you're only pretending to people that there is nothing wrong with you, whereas in fact a few concerns here.
I know how difficult and such a hard job it is looking after your mum, who has cancer, but I'm sure she would feel happier being with you rather than being somewhere else, but it does put a lot of pressure on you, and then your toddler who isn't sleeping, only when you wish this would happen, so it's going to be hard to show any love towards your husband, your exhausted and rightly so and only wish you could have a few days all to yourself, can this be organised with another brother/sister to look after your mum and then your husband to tend to your toddler, perhaps over the week end when they're not working.
FB can be very alluring wanting to see what everyone else is up to, but it can also be very damaging, why haven't so and so replied or placed something on FB about me or what we did or how much we enjoyed ourselves, instead they say something not so important that doesn't involve you, that's when it hurts.
If you delete it, then for the first few days it makes you wonder what has been said, 'what you don't know won't hurt you' is the saying, and eventually you will become disinterested in it.
And yes your local Community Health Centre in your town or maybe the next town will also be great for you to establish yourself with the counsellors, this may mean driving a few kms but it maybe worth it, and try as best as you can to have a break, you can also place your mum into respite which will give you time to catch your breath. Geoff.

[sunrise1903]

Thank you for each one of your replies, it has been a hard road and I know I need to do something, I have made two gp appointments with every intention of talking about my mental health however I just can't do it.

Again thanks for your replies it means a lot to me