Don't know what to do

[harco]

I'm stuck working in a field that I hate.

I feel like I'm being undermined by co-workers and just can't enjoy being at work.

I'm 28, had depression & anxiety bad once school finished and lost 5 years of my life struggling through it, which put me way behind in career terms.

I left my first major job last year because they were underpaying me despite my increased efforts to be valuable, I built the company website (having never made one before) which was to a very professional standard in my own time over a couple of months and was doing work that other people were getting much more. The kicker was I wasn't as qualified as they wanted me to be, so I enrolled in University online to do it while working. But I was living in a share house that soon turned toxic and I lost access to internet for several months in an attempt to move houses. Real estate agents are scum, no matter what I do they always treat me like I'm a criminal and I never get the bond back.

After my experience working in the field I decided that since I was only really starting out in this field I could change if I wanted.

So start of this year my girlfriend and I moved cities to get a fresh start, I was going to find part-time work and try to get into University to study a field that has much better opportunities.

I've never gotten a call back or a positive response even once trying to apply for retail or sales jobs and so I got a job in the field I had just left and it seemed really promising. It felt like maybe I could stay in the field after all, as this position could be great long term. And so I went for it, I rejected my offers to study at university and focused on the new job. Biggest problems were that while now not being underpaid my expenses were also much higher and my girlfriend was unable to find enough work to cover her own expenses, so all the money I was making was gone each week. But I held on, I knew the position was promising... until it wasn't, fast forward 3 months and company I was put in charge of my boss decides to sell despite it being very profitable. So I was back at square one, I rejected Uni my employment was over and my expenses were unsustainable (despite being very meager).

So I started my own business and managed to get a few consistent clients, one of whom was the employer of the business I just worked at, and then fast track to a few weeks ago he had another opportunity for me, and it pays well enough, but I just don't enjoy it at all.

[BlueGrass]

Hi Harco

I can see you are certainly trying. Have you thought of studying off-campus? Yes, I know it takes longer when not full-time study, but it is a start, and who knows what the future holds?

I gave up the chance of off-campus (allowed other pressures to stop me). Wish I'd encouraged myself more when I was your age 🙂

[harco]

The problem is that I am struggling to focus on my job and leave "sick" because of this depressed feeling I'm having.

I have no money (other than what I "can" make doing this job), my girlfriend is working on pure commission which equates to about $5-10 an hour. It's not a lack of trying and so I'm supportive of her. We're renting and she has loans that she had racked up before we met that she is paying off. We want to get married & have kids, but it's just not financially viable while I'm so doubtful about how I will maintain my current job.

I've had so many big ups and big downs this year and coming off a really hard year I'm just struggling to keep my head in the right place. I'm currently in the "business" field but want to get into the health, medical/science field, which I'm sure the universities don't appreciate when you turn down offers for positions that are hard to get. Only to try and reapply a few months later.

If I can get another position offer I will take it, but then there's the money problem. I don't know if my boss will appreciate me not working full time so that I can study a field that isn't related to what I'm doing and I can't find work in retail as said above, I don't know why but I just never get a proper response when applying for those positions. Unfortunately I lost my other clients when I decided to go back fulltime and so I don't have a means to make money using my own ABN without serious efforts to find new clients.

There's just so much to think about...