Debilitating Anxiety...

[tornadolover]

I feel anxiety is taking over my life, it affects every area of my life...I have lived like i'm in covid lockdowns for over 4 years now, i'm bordering on suffering with full blown agoraphobia...i still manage to most nights push myself to go for a 30 minute to an hour walk, which is a huge achievement for me...I no longer see friends, my boyfriend will host a movie night once a month or so where he has 4-5 of his friends coming over here, my anxiety goes through the roof but i somehow manage to push myself to interact with everyone....i rarely see my family...i just feel so hopeless, i have been unemployed for 4 years and have no interest in working....the medications i'm on are sucking the life out of me, I've been told to stay on them for a minimum of 2 years, i have a few months left, and i'm becoming more and more impatient waiting for the day i get to start tapering off them....they haven't helped me at all, just made me put on alot of weight and made me more anxious than usual and made me experience many more unpleasant side effects...i just wish i was the person i used to be before i went through my breakdown, i finally got to know myself and felt good within myself, and had so much gratitude for life, and i lost it all, it's like i'm starting fresh and need to go through the process of introspection all over again, and unpack all the trauma...i have already done the work, and really don't want to do it again...but it seems i have no option....psychologists can't help me, doctors can't help me, nothing works...i feel i have to get to learn who i am again in order to heal, and that is so daunting to me as i know it's a hard long process....i wish i could take anxiety and depression away from everyone in this world so no-one else has to suffer like this, it's just awful and no-one should have to go through this 😞 even though i am going through a struggle, i have a strong drive to be there for others who are going through similar struggles, it's great to relate and not feel alone in this fight...i hope all of this made sense, it all just poured out of me, i will leave it there for now, thank you for letting me join, i appreciate it very much and hope to connect with others who are suffering...nice to meet you all! Always here for anyone if you need to vent or chat 🙂 

[Maisy Nina]

Hi 🙂

I am new here, but I noticed your post and I just want to say how much I empathise with what you are going through. It can be SO rough to keep going at times, but I know that keeping on going is worth it in the end. A week ago I finished a 13 day substance abuse residential/medical detox. My addiction was my solution to all of my severe (and seemingly constant) anxiety and bouts of depression. I just want to encourage you to keep going, I hope we can both find our own unique support as well as being there for other people who are going through touch times. Take care! ❤️

[tornadolover]

Thank you for sharing some of your story and thank you for your encouraging words, it really does mean the world to me 🙂 that must have been tough going through substance abuse detox, i also stopped an addiction when i had a mental break down, it was just weed, but i was using daily and became a habit and part of routine...i can honestly say i miss it still though 😞 but i know it makes things worse for me at the end of the day...we are warriors to get off drugs!!! It really isn't easy, but i congratulate you for succeeding in getting off whatever your choice of drug/s was! That is a MASSIVE achievement! I hope your coping ok without it, and your anxiety and depression isn't winning...it can be so rough! I believe your going to be ok though, you are a fighter by the sounds of it, and that will get you through, and hopefully to a better place in your life and in your mind...stay strong and take care of yourself, just remember to be kind to yourself, life is hard enough...thank you again for responding to my message, you made my day 🙂

[Maisy Nina]

You just made my day! Kind words can go a long way to help with so many things. This morning I spent 3 hours in hospital getting my 8-weekly, 2-3 hour IV infusion for a digestive system disease, that was fun 😛

Make sure you are gentle with yourself and well done for getting off your substance too!!

Take care and look after yourself ok! ❤️

[tornadolover]

Oh geez...that sounds really rough!!! Is it curable your digestive system disease or do you have to keep going in to hospital for these IV infusions? It sounds absolutely horrible....I recently was in hospital for a procedure and when they put the IV in, it really reallllly hurt! I feel for you! Is it something you were born with, or something that developed overtime? I hope your going to be ok 🥺 

[Maisy Nina]

Thnanks 🙂 I'll be ok but it isn't curable so for the meantime infusions every 8 weeks and oral meds. Inflammatory Bowel Disease, not sure I am allowed to say what one it is on here, still learning the rules and don't want to get into trouble! I have probably always had it, but wasn't diagnosed until 16 years ago. Thanks for the kind message!

[tornadolover]

Oh i'm so sorry you are going through inflammatory bowel disease, it doesn't sound pleasant or sound like much fun at all 😞 and that's terrible that there's no cure, and that you have to keep up with these infusions and meds...i hope someday real soon they find a cure *fingers crossed* does it prevent you from going out and about? I don't know much about the disease, but it makes me think that you need to stay close to a toilet? I may be way off there lol please excuse my lack of education on this disease...

[Maisy Nina]

Haha don't be sorry, I didn't know anything until I was diagnosed!! I do have to be aware of what my body is up to in deciding whether I need to be close to a bathroom or not when out, but at the moment I seem to be doing ok and the pain isn't too high - the meds and infusions are doing their job it seems 🙂 

Enjoy your weekend 🙂