Busy life not enough hours in a day

[Cee8]

Hi all,

Reaching out due to heightened anxiety and pressures related to struggles finding a daily time balance.

Anxiety and expectations are impacting my focus and sleep.

Juggling a young family, children and my own extracurricular activities, household tasks, renovations and work is weighing me down and I'm finding I've got not much left in the tank to be truely present for my children and husband.

Of an evening I'm looking to alcohol to take edge off anxiety and slow down but this is making me feel guilty as I know it's not healthy. Alcohol is a big social habit with my friends and family, 'lets meet up for a drink & chat etc' hard to avoid even though its often under 3 drinks it feels like a weakness that I indulge in.

I believe my anxiety is feeding self doubt, lowering my motivation and impacting my ability to handle daily tasks at home or at work

Any tips on how to help, reduce as anxiety and self pressures, prioritise family relationships but also complete workloads at home and at work?

Not asking much lol

I think I'm seeking someone to resonate with so I feel less overwhelmed.

[Mrs Bean]

Hi Cee8,

Thank you for your post, especially the honesty of your words, as I feel exactly the same way as you 🙂

I have a loving family and a fantastic job, hobbies, work pressures, expectations placed on me by family members and suffer from depression and anxiety to make the challenge even harder.

I also turn to alcohol to make things a little bit easier to handle.

I try to stay positive and feel that help is around the corner. I remember on this forum (or perhaps another) someone posted the song by Wilson Phillips, ‘Hold on For One More Day’, and things will go your way. I still remember the lift it gave me..

I think in life it’s easy to think that everything is all bad, when there is good as well. Sometimes I write my worries in a diary (worry hour) and back them up with cognitive behaviour therapy, so add the rational response, e.g worry: Life is way too hard. Response: Life is extremely busy at the moment however I need to be kind to myself and just do the best that I can.

I also find going for walks and being in nature helps, as does rest. Hard with a young family, however maybe you can ask for some support whilst you have a lie down.

More than happy to chat further. I do hope this message finds you well 🙂

Mrs Bean 👍

[Banksy92]

Hi Cee8,

Sorry to hear you're struggling with so much on your plate right now - it's understandable you're not feeling you're best.

While I can't offer a way to find more hours in the day, I wonder if there is a way to ''swap out'' some existing time you have for activities that can help you feel a bit better...

Would any of your friends/family you catch up for a drink with be willing to meet up instead for a walk and talk? Maybe grab a coffee instead and walk around a local park or somewhere. A bit of fresh air and exercise can be a helpful way to regulate our nervous system.

[Petal22]

Hi Cee8,

Wellcome to our forums.

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

I understand it’s hard when we are trying to juggle so much it can exhausting.

Are you able to cut back on any thing you do in the present?

Is another family member able to help out more with the family daily routine?

You are only one person and can only do so much.

Have you thought about talking to your gp about the way your anxiety is affecting your life? You could do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist.

[sbella02]

Hey Cee8,

Thank you for reaching out, and welcome to the forums.

I too struggle with copious commitments, which is also affecting my sleep. With everything that you have described, I see how you've come to feel how you're feeling. I also see that others have offered some fantastic advice, and I'm here to offer my own.

I'll ask the same as Petal22, is there anything in your routine that you'd be able to cut out, or anybody who could possibly help you with your weekly tasks in any way?

Using schedules, diaries or planners really helps me when I'm feeling overwhelmed with everything that I have to do. It helps to have a breakdown of exactly what you have to do and by when, and to also have a place where you can write down to-do lists and various extracurricular activities.

I would also recommend, if you feel comfortable, having a chat to a GP, counsellor, or therapist about what you're experiencing, as they may be able to offer you some professional advice on how to alleviate your anxiety and stress overall.

I hope this helps, and please feel free to reach out again if you need any more support.

All the best, SB

[Cee8]

Thanks Mrs Bean for your kind thoughts and suggestions - your worry hour diary really speaks to me and I think doing this before bed may helpful in shifting negative to positive

[Mrs Bean]

Hi Cee8,

Thanks heaps for your message and I hope you had a good day today 👍

Yes, I find the worry diary is helpful for moving thoughts from my mind, and helping me to see that I am being too hard on myself 😊

I learnt how to apply cognitive behaviour therapy by reading the book ‘Change your thinking’, by Sarah Edelman. It is valuable as a resource for thinking positive 👍

In the book, the focus of CBT is described as follows, to help with the worry hour diary:

Developing realistic cognitions in order to minimise our experience of upsetting emotions.

She goes on to say we can either do this directly, by challenging the thoughts and beliefs that make us feel bad, or indirectly, by changing some of the behaviours that influence and reinforce our negative cognitions.

I hope this helps.

So with the worry diary, write down what you are worried about, and then respond with the rational thought, e.g:

Worry - I haven’t been performing at work as well as I want to and know I can. I’m tired and annoyed at the lack of ‘me time’.

Response - I am performing well, and I have skills that back this up. I have a weekend soon, and don’t have to work 100% all of the time - I can work on less demanding tasks. I can find time in my day to have fun and make it a great day to be a part of.

Happy to chat further on any of your challenges, I have been and am going through these sorts of things as well.

Kind regards,

Mrs Bean

[Cee8]

Thanks Banksy 92

I have touched base with a friend for a breakfast catch up which was a great swap out from social alcohol and a good start to the day 👍 thanks for the support

[Cee8]

Hi again Mrs Bean,

For everyday worries like the example you have given I feel I am able to shift my outlook well in my worry dairy, I have hit a wall though recently regarding a trip away, it's a new experience and I'm having trouble shifting my thoughts.

We have just bought a new caravan, my daughter has a sports trip out west and I am traveling without my husband but with my parents for support. I am looking forward to much of the trip but my anxiety keeps shifting back to the possibility of having an accident while towing a new van, I talk myself down and try to rationalise but it's hard to apply to a new experience. It is unsettling me that I am anticipating the worst case scenario.

In the past I've always had discomfort when our family is seperated - due to work and school my husband and son have to miss this trip. My husbands presence and my confidence in him regulates me whenever trying new things so to be seperate in this trip is hard.

I think I need to take time to check out Sarah Eldemans work and maybe explore more strategies prior to our departure date

I have explored with my GP my feelings of increased anxiety however living in a small regional area counselling services are limited. I also work in local health system and would prefer virtual platform for privacy- however I've no idea where to start in finding a reputable virtual counselling service. Costs are a slight barrier alongside child minding as I don't think my 4 year old needs to be present for my unpacking of emotions.

I feel I'm managing well then hit a speed bump. I'm lucky though to only have small bumps to navigate, at times seem insignificant to other people's experiences, trauma and battles.

I do find it useful to just put thoughts into writing as a self help strategy