A space to talk

[GoannaLost]

This is my first post. I am struggling at the moment with anxiety and depression. I just wanted somewhere I could talk freely about how I am feeling without judgement. I don't know if the right forum in beyond blue for this.
I tried the smiling mind course, whilst it looked good it didn't do it for me. I feel isolated and debilitated with anxiety and recirculating negative thoughts. Those close to me don't see what a painful place I am in or tell me to get over it. Not helpful, only makes me feel worse, because I think I should be able to cope and feel more isolated.
I've had some major panic attacks and sleep anxiety which I have never had before.
I just want to know that eventually it will be better, but can't see how. I have awful thoughts.

[Sophie_M]

Hi GoannaLost,

Thanks for reaching out to our valued forums tonight. We're so sorry to hear that you've been struggling with anxiety and depression. Many in our community can relate - please know that you're not alone in this and there is support available to you.

Can we ask if you are currently accessing any mental health support? If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

Thanks again for reaching out. Hopefully a few of our members will be by to welcome you over the next few days. Please also feel free to take a look at other recent threads and get to know members of the community.

[geoff]

Hello GoannaLost, can we offer you a warm welcome to the site and it's always great to have newcomers post a thread, because all of us here have been through our own type of depression and know hat it's not easy, but well done.

The Smiling mind may or may not be suitable, it all depends on whether it's something you want to believe can work for you, I feel the same as you, whereas others have great benefit from it, but because you don't doesn't make you any less of a person at all, all it indicates is that there is another way to help you overcome this feeling.

When someone tells to 'get over it', well it's certainly not that simple and unfortunately by saying this only creates a worse problem because you don't have the support you expected from them and are afraid to show any discomfort that anxiety and/or depression cause, and this differs from person to person but still makes you feel lousy, I'm sorry this has been the case.

If these 'awful thoughts' are recurring and may happen for some particular reason then they could be 'intrusive thoughts', and I can say this because I had anxiety and had these thoughts which were rather frightening and certainly unwanted as I suffer from OCD caused by anxiety.

We'd like to hear back from you and your thoughts, only if you want to.

Take care.

Geoff.

[GoannaLost]

Thank you for your kind reply Geoff, some days ok are some days are just awful but being able to tell someone who understands the feelings helps a lot

[GoannaLost]

Hello Sophie,
Thank you for your kind reply.
I tried smiling mind and it wasn't helpful for me.
I have spoken with a new GP re a referral. It's not that easy talking with a GP I find.
I have a lot of work stresses.

I have a friend that I feel I can confide in of sorts (I tone down what I am actually thinking and feeling to her). But she gets the gist of most of it. And is a source of support, irregular though it is.
Some days all I feel like doing is crying.

I have real trouble connecting with my partner. It's like we are talking in a foreign language. We have been together a long time, but now that I have sustained difficulties for the last year, our communication mismatch is obvious. I think we have always had this, but this strain for an extended period of time is really difficult for me.

I have shied away from lots of friends.
Thanks

[quirkywords]

Goaanalost

thanks for reaching out and expressing yourself here.

I dont like it when people say get over it, what does that even mean? get over what? They say that as have no idea how people can struggle and suffer.

I understand about talking a foreign language with ones partner. Sometimes I feel they are not listening but it can be frustrating.

This is a safe place to say how you feel.

I did an online course recommended by people I trust and it was not for me.

We are all different and have different needs.

I find I can cry over nothing and then feel bad why I am crying.

I am glad there is someone you can talk to.

Have you ever tried writing in a journal, you can write what ever you feel. I use writing a lot and not sure it helps but I often feel better after I am written it down.

I like your name.

Take care

[Guest_4643]

Hi, welcome. I'm sorry you're struggling, you're not alone. Do you have a professional at the moment such as a GP, Psychiatrist and/or Psychologist? We can help here and we're here to support and reassure you, myself included, but we're not professionals so we can't discuss certain things, per the rules. Just a friendly reminder that's all.

[sunnyl20]

Hi GoannaLost,

Thank you for sharing such an honest first post. I am really sorry to hear that you are struggling so much at the moment. It sounds like you are in quite a dark place and feeling very isolated.

It is hard when people say unhelpful things and make you feel worse and ashamed of what you are going through. What you are experiencing sounds very distressing and you should not feel like you have to get through this alone - you deserve the support and care of the people around you (and professional help if you feel like this is what you need). I would encourage you to continue to try to talk with that friend who you do feel able to confide in. If you are open to it, maybe plan to go for a coffee or walk or a meal out together.

I agree with quirkywords - if you have not done so already, writing could be something to try. It can be a helpful exercise as it forces you to organize your thoughts and externalise all the pent up emotions and thoughts that are ruminating.

Please know that this space is here for you - it is non-judgmental and we are here to listen if and when you feel up to sharing. Take care.

[GoannaLost]

Hello quirkywords,

I do find writing here helps, because it seems to put a boundary on negative thoughts. I would have never thought of it myself. being able to type is when I am more in control.
It's those times when feelings are overwhelming that I can't seem to be able to do anything at all, other than escalating awful thoughts.

Thanks for the support. knowing someone understands is very reassuring.

[GoannaLost]

Thank you Sunnyl20,
Yes I think writing is a good idea.
Just being in a safe place to talk is good, rather than being in an every man for himself environment.