Why won’t anyone help me? Am I too much?

[JaneC76]

I have PTSD, I have an NDIS plan as I’m unable to work because of it.

Ive been unwell for around 8 years, with multiple in patient stays.

I’ve been doing well up to around March then it’s been very up down due to numerous triggers & general stressors.

As a result I’ve also had problems with insomnia to varying degrees. The last week there were some nights I had no sleep at all.

I had my long standing appointment with my psychiatrist on Monday & told her the situation.

She sounded frustrated & asked had it not occurred to me to ring her for an earlier appointment rather than wait so long. It hadn’t. I don’t want to be a burden & will try my absolute best to manage on my own. She prescribed a medication to assist sleep. It didn’t work & she didn’t follow up with me like she said.

At this point my husband is concerned. I can’t function. I’m not sleeping or eating so he rings on Tuesday but hears nothing back.

So I decide to skip some daytime meds in the hope of finally getting sleep. And voila it works, I sleep some. Not much but at least it’s something.

Wednesday morning I have appointment with my psychotherapist who works in the same place as my psychiatrist.

although this is Victoria where we are currently in lockdown

I sob over this FaceTime appointment. Therapist says she is emailing my psychiatrist to ask whether I should have a hospital admission & whether I should be skipping medication.

My therapist says don’t worry either me or your psychiatrist will call you back or if we can’t get a hold of you we will call your husband. But we will call you today.

Its nearly 11pm & no ones called.

Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? I’m constantly told I should reach out more but when I do I get nothing.

The whole situation feels so hopeless for me.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Jane,

Thanks for reaching out tonight and welcome back to the Beyond Blue forums. We're sorry to hear things haven't been going well for you. We can hear how overwhelmed you feel and can imagine it must be quite anxiety-inducing to wait for your psychiatrist or psychologist to call. We can also imagine it would be disappointing to not have received a call today despite them promising to do so. We hope they get in contact with you tomorrow and empathise with your frustration. Hopefully, some of our community members will stop by to provide their insight and feedback about your situation. 

In the meantime, you might like to reach out to our Beyond Blue Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through this situation with you and can offer support and advice. 

Thanks again for stopping by.
 

[JaneC76]

I’m terrified to ring the call line. I’m scared of people. I can’t figure out who is a safe person & who is not. That’s how I got PTSD. And I’m so very desperate to see a therapist in person. I had one space in my life that felt safe. Where I felt cared for. I’m 44 & have never had that. And now this one place has been taking off me thanks to lockdown rules.

[geoff]

Hello Jane, and a warm welcome to the forums.

It must be so disappointing this has happened because when we hear that our psych/s are going to ring, then it's their duty to do so, that's what we believe because we pay them to look after us and the service they provide is to look after and care for our support.

The lockdown in Vic has certainly affected us all in many different ways and certainly for those struggling with a mental illness and there could be a chance the therapist couldn't have been able to contact your psychiatrist, never the less you'd expect them to still contact you regardless.

Are you able to contact your doctor who can still authorise you to go to the hospital, saying that's it's urgent you need to contact them.

Take care.

Geoff.