What is it like to call a helpline?

[Willow Jude]

Hi there,

I’m wondering what it is like to call a helpline. My psychologist has recommended I consider calling one during times when I am struggling with some overwhelming feelings (not necessarily suicide/self-harm related, more like intense hopelessness, loneliness, etc.), but I find it difficult not knowing what to expect. There are so many things that I worry about when I consider calling - How will the conversation go? Will they think it's okay for me to use a helpline just to talk to someone when I am not a risk to myself? Will I be made to feel like I am wasting their time after a certain amount of time? Can I be forced to go to hospital or something if I am considered at risk of harm?

So if anyone has any experiences with helplines that they’d be willing to share to give me a little insight into how it goes, I would really appreciate it!

Thanks,
WJ

[Willow Jude]

Thank you for your responses David35 and Geoff, I really appreciate you taking the time to contribute! Your responses have helped to give me more of an understanding of the experience of calling a helpline 🙂

[Rebel_Mudlark]

From personal experience (maybe half a dozen calls over the past few years): basically make sure you're not a risk to yourself, and if not, only listen to you, or maybe tell you to find a psychologist and/or psychiatrist. It's fairly common across all of them: they can't really tell you where to get help, but they can't really do much for you if you have any mental health issue. I would advise skipping things and finding a therapist, instead of just having someone else tell you the same thing?

[mmMekitty]

Hello, Willow_Jude, 😺Sorry, my only brief experience with phoning a helpline was, for me, not so great - but I think that was me: me being too impatient to want to go through waiting for the call to be answered, then answering the questions.

I also would like to say, "Hello Rebel Mudlark, welcome to the forums"😺I get a feeling I might feel similarly to you. I don't like being asked a lot of rote questions, most of which will have nothing to do with why I might phone. & if they are inflexible about getting answers to these questions, I'd just get cranky.

So, Willow_Jude, I hope my only experience with phoning a helpline was not typical.

I understand asking someone to answer a couple questions could help the person I've called get a general idea of who they are talking to, &, if the caller is finding it hard to begin speaking, then a couple questions could help start the conversation. Not a dozen or so. Of-course, they need to know if callers are at high risk or not, up front. Definitely duty of care there. But I thought some of the questions could have waited until the answer became relevant, as the conversation progressed.

That's how I'd like it to be anyway.

Warmly,

Oh did I tell you how much I like your big beautiful sunflower, with the blue sky? 😺

mmMekitty

[Willow Jude]

Thanks Rebel_Mudlark and mmMekitty, I appreciate you both taking the time to respond and providing your honest insights into the topic. It helps to have a well-rounded understanding of everyone's experiences 🙂

To give a bit of an update - I did call a helpline last night to try and get some help working through some overwhelming emotions. Unfortunately they were somewhat busy and I gave up after being on hold for quite a while, which was a disappointing outcome, but I am also viewing it as a good first step for me. 

[Willow Jude]

So I tried using a counselling service web chat tonight and, just like last year with the helpline, I had a long wait and ended up giving up. I'm definitely not trying to blame the service because I know being busy is beyond their control, and there must be lots of people needing assistance who I'm glad are getting help, and waits are always going to be long on a weekend evening, so it's not their fault. At the same time (- I'm trying to remember to use my dialectics here! -), I am experiencing frustration and disappointment at the situation, which I think it's okay to feel without blaming anyone or wanting them to feel bad.

I am feeling a bit better than when I initially reached out for support so we'll see if I am able to improve my night without assistance. I also know that what happened tonight doesn't mean that all potential experiences with helplines/support services in the future are guaranteed to be negative, and I did have an alright experience with a helpline last year which does give me some hope. 

[sbella02]

Willow Jude,

Thank you for reaching out again and sharing your experience, even though it was a frustrating one for you. I'm so sorry that this has been your experience with a helpline, I can understand your frustration.

It's good to see that this hasn't tarnished your view of helplines in general, that's a great perspective to take. Whenever I've called Lifeline (I've called a few times) they tended to be pretty fast to respond, so I'd say it depends on the day, demand, etc. 

Do you think you would reach out again? If you'd feel comfortable sharing, which one/s have you tried?

Take care, SB

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Willow Jude,

 I’m sorry you’ve had these long waits a couple of times now. It’s understandable that would be very frustrating when you’re already feeling vulnerable. You may be a bit unlucky as I’ve made a few calls to both Lifeline and the BB helpline and I’ve only had a short wait at most.

If you do try again and get through hopefully you will get a helpful person. In most cases I have except for one person who was very intense and was drilling me with questions that I couldn’t answer. I had to end the call, calm myself and then I called again and got someone who was absolutely lovely and I felt so much better afterwards.

So it’s important to try to not take on additional stress from the call/chat if the person’s approach is not working for you. Recognise it is within your power to reach out until you get someone wise and supportive. I have found some people don’t say much and mostly let you talk, and others are more interactive and engaging.

Hope you are feeling better,

ER

[sbella02]

ER, I like this contribution. Much like with any professional, if you find that you're not keen on their style of working with you, finding somebody else that you gel with better is a good idea, otherwise it can add to your stress.

SB