What can you do if your therapist or GP say that you must go to hospital but you dont want to?

Shock · ‎04-12-2013

Heres the situation:

I am often overcome with thoughts of suicide. I have acted on them in the past, but obviously not succeeded. I want help for this. Its not a nice feeling wanting to die all the time and I want to get rid of it. To that end I have seen several GPs, psychologists, counsellors and psychiatrists. Occasionally, I am honest enough to say that I plan to try again. Their reaction is to call the police and have me put in hospital.

But I dont want to go to hospital. I have been and found the experiance far worsens my condition. Besides, if I stay in hospital a day, or week, or month what difference does it make when I get out? The staff and doctors in there do the same sort of things as the people I see on the outside. Its just a far more depressing living condition.

So, how can you discuss your plans for suicide and not lie about them?

Stephen123 · ‎04-12-2013

Hi shock, this is just about the toughest post I have ever seen. I know exactly what you,re saying, how can you be honest when all they do is lock you up for it.

they have no option, if you tell them you are going to self harm then they must do something about it or the will be liable. Sorry I,m being captain obvious again.

the only thing I can think of is to maybe try a different approach.

Can you find an outlet that is anonymous where the counsellors don,t have to act on what you say? Does such an outlet exist. Beyond blue for example, do they have to report admissions to feeling suicidal? I think you need to find someone that is not legally liable if you were to do.

i,ve been very mentally ill, but I,ve never been suicidal so I don,t think I,ll be able to help you much. Hopefully someone that has survived suicide will post back to you.

i don,t know if it will help but I have never held back on anything when talking to my counsellor and I believe this is the key to better mental health.

This might be a silly thought but rather than say to your doctors" I have a plan to kill myself" maybe you could rephrase that sentence to " what if I were to say I had a plan to kill myself" this might somewhat take the responsibility off the doctors to have to do something.

i,m sorry shock I don,t have the answer for you just a few ideas. Good luck let us know how you go please.

Beetle · ‎04-12-2013

Hi shock

Oh dear i am sending you many good vibes to help you getting out of this terrible balck hole!!!

I never actively tried sucide but i had several plans. I am glad that you are still here to talk to us which is great since it shows that you dont really want to die but rather want to escape the terrible situation you must be in. Sorry if i put that out there, i mean i can only speak from myself. I wanted to die because the feelings and pain was so terrible that life was no good anymnore-so death was the only alternative,

I ve been never been put in hospital. reason being: i always lied to the question: do u have a plan,I knew if i tell them i have a plan and VERY close to do it they call the coppers and im getting locked up.

I hated to lie since i knew they wanted to help me, but i was terreifed to get locked up.

When i went to my GP i admitted i had suicial thoughts. I also said that I certainly knew how to do it, several plans. I wrote it on a piece of paper since i was so embarressed. i asked for help and meds.

I didnt get locked away.but my doc is a bit hard wired i think and didnt panic.so maybe i was lucky?

I agree with stephen, rephrase your sentence. so that they know how bad you feel, but fluff it all down so that you recieve help in the community. I would crumbel being locked up, i couldt get better. Im better off at home with my personal things.

Please keep in touch. im very keen to see how you go.

take care

Beetle

Chris_B · ‎05-12-2013

Hi shock, This is certainly an area of concern. There are good practitioners out there who can assess risk well enough to know the difference between you expressing your thoughts in order to get help and identifying yourself as someone who is in immediate danger.

I know it's frustrating having been through so many different people, but I think that ultimately establishing a trusting long-term relationship with a single practitioner could be the best solution. The longer that relationship is, the better that person is able to know how to get you talking and keep you safe at the same time, preferably in your own environment and not in a hospital.

Below is a link to a webinar you might find useful to watch, both for your own information and to know that there is work being done to better educate professionals on how to deal with suicidality. This webinar from the Mental Health Professionals Network has a number of speakers, including a psychologist who is a suicide survivor himself.

It's called 'A Collaborative Approach To Supporting People At Risk Of Suicide' and hopefully it will give you some pointers on where you can go next > http://bit.ly/1gFNqx8
best
CB

Shock · ‎05-12-2013

Thanks for the message Stephen.

Unfortunately in my experience there isnt much in the way of total anonymity. After the first time a therapist threatened me and called the police I gave up on seeing her, so next time I was close to dieing I did the only thing I could think of and called LifeLine. I didnt give away any information at all and just wanted to talk but they got the police involved who actually tracked my phone!

Like wise, I once tried to reach out on this very forum but my post was censored and the police were called again. I dont know how they got my address - probably cause I was dumb enough to sign up to this with an email address that includes my name. Luckily I wasnt there and my neighbour let me know. I had to stay up all night sleeping in my car cause I was to scared to go home.

The only options I really have now is to use pay phones, and then only for a short while. Haha its crazy! I feel like a fugitive on the run. When I use the payphone I always ask for them not to call, but they have to apparently. Then I have to spend the next few hours in my car, sleeping or driving around as I am too scared to go home.

Jeez, anyone reading this out of context would think I am a criminal.

I think this demonstrates how bad 'Duty of Care' is. It turns people who need help into fugitives.

Stephen123 · ‎06-12-2013

Dear shock, if you don,t mind me asking how often do you have to resort to making calls from pay phones? Do you resent the health professionals for making these calls to police? Have you yet found a counsellor that you trust enough to talk through this very serious issue. Sorry for stumbling through this but I have no concept of self harm and to be honest I really feel out of depth answering this post. If the topic was psychosis I might have something to say. Thanks for replying to my reply.

Jo3 · ‎06-12-2013

Hi Shock, I wonder - aren't you tired of doing this? Phoning from a pay phone. When I call Lifeline or Beyond Blue for help because I feel like self harming or suicide they always are helpful but I have never got to that point where the police were involved. And if they did, I think after the fact, I would be very relieved that they did do that. When feeling depressed your thinking is not right, your thoughts are not right either. It would be great if you could find a psych that would actually sit and listen to you and work out a strategy or coping plan for self harm and suicide. I did just that with my psych and if ever I am in that situation again I have a plan and that is to 1. call my husband 2. call hospital mental health triage 2. my GP/psych These are the things that will help. I hope I have helped you a bit. But please don't hurt yourself or end your life, you are worth more than that, you will get through. Don''t act on your thoughts - as my psych tells me they're only thoughts and thought's can't hurt you. Even doing slow deep breathing brings you back to being grounded. Take care, let us know how you go Jo

geoff · ‎07-12-2013

dear Shock, sorry for being late in replying to you.

I know the feeling that you are talking about, and no it's not a pleasant situation being dragged off to hospital, it's happened a couple of times for me and I have been able to avoid it 3 or 4 times.

One time was when I said to my ex that I was going to do it so the police divvy van came, loaded me in and off to hospital, so what happens there, someone talks to you and generally you have to go over the whole story again, then placed in a ward with guys walking around saying that they hate you and are going to --------you.

The other time I was drunk and again rang my ex and an ambulance came, and the same story.

I suppose I rang my ex because she was still my wife then, and I wanted her to come home and live with me again, but it never happened.

There is no difference to being home than to be at hospital, except that at hospital you are safe from doing anything, while at home your not safe, but I hated being taken there, because it didn't cheer me up, however I pretended to be much happier the next day just so I could get out.

As Christopher said that there are good doctors and psych's who know if you are serious, as this happened with my psychologist who I told that I would try again, but she didn't ring anybody and cart me off to the hospital. Geoff.

Shock · ‎13-12-2013

Hi Stephen.

"if you don,t mind me asking how often do you have to resort to making calls from pay phones?"

It depends. I wen through a very, very rough patch were I attempted a few months back. Having no where to turn to I called maybe once every 2 days for a month. Lately it has been a lot less.

"Do you resent the health professionals for making these calls to police? "

Yes I do. Its my body, my health and my issue. I come to (and pay) these people for help, not to be treated like a criminal.

Lets make one thing utterly clear: As soon as they decide you need to go to hospital you become a 2nd class citizen. You lose your freedom, your right to vote, your money, your phone, etc, etc. Worst yet, people feel its fine to lie to you just to get your compliance, because 'your crazy'. I resent these human rights being taken away from me and the lies.

I resent being put in a far worse situation because the person I am trying to seek help from cant 'handle the heat'.

Also, police are trained to deal with criminals, and if they are called thats exactly how they treat you. I resent being verbally and physically abused by the police who regard me like something they scraped off the sole of their shoe.

"Have you yet found a counsellor that you trust enough to talk through this very serious issue"

No, I've simply stopped trusting them. They lie to get your compliance.

"Oh! I forgot to tell the receptionist something." - goes out and calls the police.

"I'll just walk out side with you too. I need to move my car." - flags down police car she called. They lie when its convenient.

Shock · ‎13-12-2013

Thanks Jo,

You are lucky to have someone like your husband to call upon first.

I have done coping plans too, but theyre usually just consist of call LifeLine or go to hospital, which I just cannot do.

I disagree with your statement out when I am depressed I am not thinking right. I am still the same person with the same feelings, etc. Its still me. I dont suddenly start thinking Im a bat and start trying to fly.

Im really glad youve found a coping strategy that works for you though! Please note that my problems are mine and mine alone. Dont let me distract from what works for you.