turning insecurity into confidence - suggestions for succesful treatments?

[fatima]

hi

i am terribly insecure deep inside and the more I read/think, I come to the conclusion that I just cant let myself be succesfull and feel confident. I really want to fix this as it is repeatedly throwing me into disarray.

Reading the internet, there are so many different therapies and i have tried some before (esp cbt) but this was not helping. I can understand the theory but cant change the 'worthless feeling'. Is there anyone that has succeeded and would you mind sharing how?

I am happy to invest in therapy, programs etc but am just worried that most is just a 'grab for money' instead of real. E.g. i read some on pathwaytohappiness.com that sounds interesting but then again...maybe its just a moneypit.

TIA

[White_Rose]

Hello Fatima

You sound more positive in this last post of yours. Congratulations. Yes it is a pain that we need to work on ourselves for a long time to be responsible and positive people. Where's the magic wand when you need it?

When you get a little downhearted or overwhelmed by the task remind yourself that you have been working on yourself for a long time, ever since you were born. The difference is that you were not consciously shaping your life, just letting it happen. Now you have put yourself in charge and you are making decisions about what is best for you. The biggest problem is unlearning the habits that formed when you were drifting through life. This is the hardest part.

So whenever you find yourself on the usual broad and well-trodden path, remind yourself to step off onto the grass on the sides of the road or even further out into the paddock and explore new ways to reach your destination. I am a visual person so pictures like this help me. Reformat my pictures into a way that suits you.

This is one occasion where the grass is truly greener on the other side of the fence.

It's great that you have found a tool to help you along. Much better than FB. (Am I showing my age?) Having a loving and supportive husband is wonderful, especially when you are working together on these things. Is he also looking at ways to improve his commitment to Life.

Mary

[Dwwmills]

Hi Fatima.

I’m glad you’re finding the app useful. It gives you access
to so much information. I spent a lot of time reading the articles and found
the audios to be particularly useful. By keeping my mind occupied in learning
these new skills it also had the effect of drowning out a lot of the irrational
thoughts.

For me the turnaround was very quick. It was six months from
the time I started to take medication and practising CBT, until I was looking
at tapering off. The tapering off process took longer as each time I would
reduce the medication my anxiety would return slightly and I would have to work
on it again. I tapered too quickly in the beginning and had to increase my
medication at one stage. I then took a much slower approach. I made sure I was
stable and stable for a while before I reduced after that.

Two years on, I still use the app and the system connected
with it. I don’t know of anyone else who is using this app so I would be very
interested in finding out which parts you find useful.

Good luck. Hope all is going well.