HI Rattie
I d\have a very different view about my struggles and medication. I tried 12 tablets until one worked great and have been on that for 6 years now. The rest were a disaster, left me barely functional.
You said- " I suppose I'm also just simply not happy to go back on meds so I'm not sure what to do, and I think I'm just looking for a bit of support. Whilst my partner and friends are great - they don't really understand the daily (very tiring) battle to stay well. I'm not sure I'm sick enough to go back onto meds and hoping that I can come out of the cloud by myself. "
Once the right meds for you has been settled, its is like taking fish oil, no difference, just routine, no big deal I think, just that you need a helping hand to get through life- just like an elderly person needs a walker to go shopping. How we see this "helping hand" is critical to our fears. Your friends and partner wont understand. I'm lucky in a way, my wife has depression also. So don't expect them to help out, your problems aren't visual. Another reason to remain on this forum because its great for support amongst your own.
You wont come out of the cloud "by yourself". It is highly unlikely. Many of us have stopped medication thinking we are fine only to find out the hard way that we need to make our commitment to medication life long, to manage our illness through medication and not expect cure. We talk about this all the time here. Read up a few threads every night before bed and educate yourself more about mental illness. It will pay off.
Hope this helps.
Tony WK
