Too embarrassed to ask for help

[Wombatz]

When you have been curled up in your bed crying for 2 days and can’t face the world how do you drag yourself to a doctor just to get a medical certificate for work?

Can’t imagine facing my regular GP - I don’t want her seeing this side of me.

What do others do? Do you go to a random medical centre and tell them your sob story hoping they’ll believe you?

I can’t even drag myself into the shower let alone out of the house!

I can’t just take days off work without a certificate either

[Guest_357]

I’m not a professional nor am I experienced with this type of situation.

i think if you find it uncomfortable to see your regular GP , you should definitely try others. It might be a bit hard to do so, but the end result will be good for you.

[PamelaR]

Hi Wombatz and welcome to Beyond Blue forums

I do feel for you. I used to do exactly the same thing. In those days though I never realised it was anxiety and depression. Getting out of the house was impossible but I had to try eventually - generally 3 days after being off work. One doctor would refused to include the days I was off sick before visiting her. I changed doctors.

The one I go to now is very understanding and knows my mental health history. Prior to finding him though, I never told my doctor the ‘real’ reason - because in some ways I never really knew. I always put it down to being - lethargic, tired, achy, fussy in the head - Oh, I must have a ‘viral infection’. So that’s what I’d start out telling them which of course muddied the waters and ultimately meant my real mental health was never known.

I’m not recommending that you do what I did for years. Now, I realise how much better it would have been for me had I been honest about my feelings (mental state) etc. Though, no regrets - I never regret anything in this life. It is much too precious. I’ve just learnt from my actions.

Hope this helps in some way Wombatz.

Keep reaching out to us if and when you want. No pressure. You’re not alone.
Kind regards
PamelaR

[smallwolf]

Wombatz,

Looks like Pamela beat me to it. All I can do is relate my story to you.

My GP looks after all my needs, starting with PSA blood tests, and then my issues with depression etc. Earlier this year when I was put onto ADs I cried in front of her. Who know about this... you, and other people in the community who know me. That's all. Why her? Because I have established a relationship with her, that I trust her with my situation. I would much rather she see me in that state, rather than some random person. She also has my complete history and I do not have to the repeat anything that I might have to tell someone new. Also when I was on sick leave recently, she also reviewed me weekly to make sure I was still OK.

Of course, I am not telling you to do the same, and I understand why you might be hesitant to do what I did. But as a aside... whenever I do see her about other things, she also asks me how I am doing mentally as well, which helps to build the relationship. Remember this is a professional relationship, nothing more, nothing less.

All the best with whatever you choose,

Tim

[therising]

Hi Wombatz

As smallwolf touched on, there are some benefits to seeing your regular GP. For her to help treat your physical and mental well being can be a good thing. She might decide to do some blood tests to check your overall chemistry. It would be good to take it further than just getting the certificate.

Only you can decide whether your doctor is the right fit in addressing this aspect. If the only reason you don't want her seeing you involves you not wanting her to judge you as 'weak' or 'defective', genuinely understanding doctors recognise the overall impact depression can have on a person and their approach is one of compassion, not (degrading) judgement. Gravitate towards a compassionate doctor who you feel comfortable with.

If you decide not to go with your regular GP, a lot of practices which have several doctors consulting under one roof offer a variety of specialties - mental health, gynecology, geriatrics etc. With the lack of motivation, you can always ask a friend to drive you to your appointment. All you have to say is 'I'm not feeling well these days, I'm really run down' and just leave it at that, without going into any great detail.

Take care Wombatz