The struggles of seeing a psychologist...

[LaraW]

Hey guys. 🙂 I have a question about seeing psychologists, maybe you guys can help?

So for a few years now, I've been struggling with low self esteem/low self confidence and anxiety issues related to childhood trauma, which has been causing me a lot of stress and resulted in unemployment too. Initially, I was seeing a counsellor at my uni for free, but I was struggling to implement any of the strategies they were giving me, and although it definitely helped to speak up about the issues I was facing, it didn't really feel like I was taking away much from my sessions nor taking practical steps to recovering from mental illness. So eventually, I left because I wasn't really making much progress at all. I went back to my GP to get a mental health care plan, where we discussed the options of medications and seeing a psychologist outside uni. I was really resistant and chose not to take medications (and i don't regret that decision). Anyway, one of my good friends was seeing a private clinical psychologist under a mental health care plan and she recommended them to me, so i got a referral and I've been seeing her ever since. It's been about a year now, and things are going pretty awesome, i feel valued, cared for and respected by my psychologist and i really do feel a bond with her, I've shared a lot of my struggles and she's always listened and been there and given me really helpful strategies to take really small steps to regaining my confidence, working through negative thought patterns and emotions, coping with trauma and managing daily life stresses. Overall its been a pretty awesome experience.

But, she's also been consistently late for my sessions which is super frustrating sometimes, and other times my sessions will end really early and we won't use up the full 50 minutes. I've also noticed sometimes she'll just seem really bored, this sounds super lame, but i kinda feel like she's probably frustrated with me for not being able to recovery from my anxiety quickly, and at the moment it just kinda feels like we're going around in circles. Has anyone else faced similar problems when seeing a clinical psychologist? I know this probably doesn't sound like best practice, but i actually feel like i really bond with my psych and care about my sessions, so I'm hesitant to leave. Also, I have a quick question about mental health care plans. My psych told me my care plan expired and to get a new one before coming back, but i thought you could only get one a year?

[geoff]

hello Lara, welcome to the site, but I've seen you have replied or posted before so you're not a new comer, however with MI that doesn't matter.
In regards to your mental health plan it does allow you 10 free consultations per year, however under extreme cicumstances your doctor can extend this to how they feel it should be.
Having a formative r/ship with your psychologist is what you definitely want, it allows the two of you to be frank with eachother, and whether she's late doesn't mean anything, because mine was always late and I wouldn't read too much into this, however you should be allowed the full time limit.
If she appears to be lame then raise another point that you didn't think was related, perhaps it is and will get the conversation going again.
I had been seeing my psychologist for 20 years, sometimes longer than some marriages, and there were times I didn't want to see her, but they're being paid for their services and would hate to lose someone who was handing over the money or signing the chip. Geoff.

[doesithelp]

Hi LaraW,

I have faced one of your issues with my first psychologist. Initially it was good and made sense to me, but after about 10 sessions it was obvious to me that she was frustrated at my lack of implementation of some of the tools we discussed. She basically told me that she cannot help me if I don't do the work. Fair enough perhaps, but it was deflating for me. I've seen a second counselor after that but don't feel I made a connection. I am thinking about trying another. I understand it is not uncommon to see several before finding the 'right' one.

In regards to the lateness and apparent boredom I haven't experienced that, but I would suggest you ask your counselor if another time would be better as you have noticed she if often running late. Perhaps also ask her if your progress is as she had planned too. Are you doing the work she gives you? Personally I did not as part of my 'thing' is self-sabotage I think.

Another thing is meds. Apparently they can help if you find the right one and stick with them. I'm on my second type now and don't feel they're helping, but will stick with them until 18months complete (which is soon) before talking to my GP again.

Anyway, good luck. I hope things improve with your current psychologist, but if not, there are plenty others out there.

[Dr_Kim]

Hi LaraW, I think you are being really insightful and the therapy is clearly a great for for you in many ways. I think your therapist would be thrilled to read "I feel valued, cared for and respected by my psychologist and i really do feel a bond with her, I've shared a lot of my struggles and she's always listened and been there and given me really helpful strategies”.

While I think that it is absolutely ok to talk with her about her lateness or the sense that you feel she is bored or frustrated , I challenge you to think deeply , not about her , but about YOU - think about how these things make you feel:
1. How does it make you feel when she is late for your sessions?
2. How does it make you feel that she seems bored by you? Does it provoke any emotional reaction ? Have you felt this same way before in the past ? If so, when ?
3. Who is more frustrated by your “going around in circles”? Her ? or You ? Sometimes its them .. but sometimes we inadvertently project our own feeling about ourselves onto others and convince ourselves its what THEY feel when it is in fact what WE feel .. So maybe you are the one you is more frustrated with your speed of recovery . I’m not saying this is the case .. but it is a possibility …

I do think that most psychologists would be up for an open and honest conversation about the relationship - especially of it allows you both to deepen understanding of your needs, strengths , weaknesses and provides opportunities to learn and grow.

SO I would go to the GP and get that extension of your MHCP and go back and talk to her . It sounds like you have such a good relationship in so many ways that it would be a pity to let it slide without trying to address these things first.

You usually get a referral for 6 sessions and then you need to go back and check with the GP . If you both feel another 4 sessions are necessary , then you get the referral for the next 4 sessions ( thus the total of 10 medicare rebated sessions per year)