The search for the right GP!

[calmseeker]

Feeling super frustrated with accessing help on the GP level. My GP is a lovely guy but I need medical advice not a new friend. I know I know, get a new GP and that's where the frustration comes in. I feel so overwhelmed at the thought of starting again! GP's are the coordinators in accessing the help we require so I feel its important we have someone we trust in that role. Groan, I feel like its a mammoth undertaking. My anxious mind races trying to work out where I start and what I say in a ten minute appointment. Today my thoughts are that I am tired of anxiety, its exhausting trying to help myself.

[smallwolf]

Hi calmseeker,

I would refer to my GP as an acquaintance (vs a friend) - that is each time I see her it is for a purpose, but I also know she has my best intentions at heart and makes sure I am OK. Can I ask what is the problem you have with talking to the GP you see as a friend?

I notice you mention anxiety and not being able to switch your mind off can be very tiring - Do you want a referral to therapist?

Or is it because you see them as a friend you do not feel you are able to say what you want?

I am listening.

Tim

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi calmseeker,

Thanks for your post. I totally hear you too. For different reasons, I've had bad experiences with the GP's and I know it's so hard to find a good one. I have to find one too and it's frankly a big pain.

What I can suggest though, is that when you're looking for a GP, you can see if there are any others in the same clinic. They'll have all your notes and history on file so it will save you having to repeat everything. The other thing that might be worth considering is that you book a double appointment - that way there's less of a sense of trying to cram everything in.

I hope that you find a good one. I know that in the end it will be worth it.

rt

[calmseeker]

Hi Tim,

Thanks for your response. In re reading my post I realised it was a bit vague. I think it was a frustration purge.

I have been seeing this particular GP for 3 years, trying to build up some sort of relationship and sticking with him so he came to understand my issues and feelings. I feel anxious visiting the clinic so try to only go when absolutely necessary. For the last 3 years I have been telling him I don't feel good, panic attacks, insomnia, dizziness,headaches, vision disturbances, nausea,numbness and tingling, sensation of veering to the left when walking,the list does go on. A symptom which scares me the most is feeling confused or disoriented at times, granted this is usually when I feel panic. He said its anxiety, take this AD. No tests done no referrals given. When symptoms are unbearable I go to see him, trying to build that relationship and trying to get answers, I was and still am not convinced that these symptoms are all anxiety? Maybe? I would end up on google after a GP visit as I was never satisfied or felt supported after an appointment.

So in March I had two days of losing my vision in one eye and seeing auras, couldn't get an appointment with him so went to see a different GP who instantly sent me for an MRI. The MRI showed up a pituitary tumour - had a panic attack in his office and was taken by ambulance to emergency. I have since been told that the tumour was an incidental finding, causing no issues, common and no cause for alarm. I go back to regular GP from here on in. Symptoms still happening, anxiety has gotten worse since diagnosis, I am struggling. Regular GP says 'well something is going on I just don't know what'. I don't feel listened to, I don't feel supported. I know I need to change my GP but for someone who is struggling to get out of bed in the morning starting again with a new GP is daunting. I know some people would view this as just a case of making a new appointment with a different doctor and getting on with it, I don't know why I feel its so difficult? Maybe because I overthink everything.

Your thoughts about this would be appreciated Tim, a different viewpoint to consider would be helpful.

[calmseeker]

Hello there,

Making a double appointment had crossed my mind but I had not considered seeing someone in the same practice who can see my file. You're a genius rt! I might take a peek at the clinics website and look at the available docs. That may take half the frustration out of starting again.

Grateful to you rt.

[calmseeker]

Hi all,

Has anyone heard of or experienced something called 'iatrophobia' - fear of seeing a GP? Its not really a fear of the GP him/herself, its more of a fear of 'bad news' resulting from the appointment. I have not seen a GP for over 8 months and absolutely cannot bring myself to even make an appointment. I know this sounds strange but its something I am struggling and feeling very depressed about. I have some symptoms which definitely need to be looked at by a professional and I am too paralysed with fear and anxiety to visit the GP. I do not trust in my ability to handle any bad news that may result from a docs appointment. Fear is over riding logic here and I am feeling very stuck. Any thoughts, similar stories and or advice appreciated as I obviously need to look at this problem via a different mindset.

CS.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi calmseeker,

Thanks for your post - and by the way you are very welcome! Honestly prior to this post I had not, but I did have a google and I know there are lots of people in the same boat.

Being afraid to make an appointment - what part are you afraid of, is it the idea that there might be something biologically there that is causing your symptoms (like a benign tumour) (Even though this hasn't been the case) ? Or that maybe it's put down to anxiety again with the sense of being dismissed and a script for AD ?

Sometimes it can be helpful to try and look into those fears in more depth to help ease them. Whatever the result may be, you can cope with it - and if you are finding that you can't cope, then you can reach out to people and find ways to cope.

rt

[calmseeker]

Good Morning rt,

To clarify, this fear is a fear of bad news and the idea that I will be unable to cope with it. Its not a fear of the GP.

I would be more than happy to have my current symptoms written off as anxiety, that would mean that there isn't a sinister health problem lurking.

I haven't been able to swallow properly for a few months, I have had almost narcoleptic fatigue and numbness through my chin and nostrils, and waves of nausea throughout the day. I obviously should see a GP right? But, gosh, I am having so much trouble forcing myself to book an appointment. I understand I am catastrophising , I can feel myself slipping into the old patterns of health anxiety and I can see its irrational yet I feel powerless to overcome it. I feel very grumpy with myself for not being able to handle a simple task like booking a doctors appointment but like I mentioned, fear seems to be over riding logic.

I guess I am picturing the scenario to unfold like this: GP looks down throat and tells me I have a cancerous lump and then I wont know how to handle the news and my anxiety condition will be too much for me to bear and I end up losing my mind as well as having a serious physical health diagnosis.

With a scenario like that playing out in my mind, I just refrain from making the GP appointment at all. Until I wake up feeling like I am choking again and am forced to consider booking a doc visit.

CS

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi calmseeker,

It's good to hear back from you. Man that sounds really hard to be living with, and I'm not sure which one is worse - the physical toll of all of these symptoms or the emotional toll of trying to cope with them and not knowing.

As much as I would like to reassure you that everything would be just fine, there is a risk that something is wrong. But that's also just one option out of hundreds. There is every chance that there could be an explanation that is not sinister or even long-term. What if all you needed was just one appointment and they had a quick remedy for it? Even if it was something so simple, it would be such a shame for you to be agonising over it when there could be such a simple explanation for what's going on.

This worst case scenario here - I know this is something you are agonising over here but you can handle it. If there was a diagnosis that was difficult to swallow, you certainly wouldn't be the only person with it. By being on the forums already this is a great way to not lose your mind 🙂 Staying in touch and connected with people can help you through whatever happens.

I know this post probably isn't very comforting, but the last thing I want to do is give you fake positivity. But what I can do is know that whatever happens you can cope with this. I know for sure the benefits of knowing is going to far outweigh not knowing.

rt

[Guest_1643]

Hey calmseeker,

finding a good gp is very difficult and takes a lot of effort, and has a major effect on your care.
I remember when I was still on facebook that was the number one question ppl would post in some of the groups i was part of - does anyone know of a good (bulk billing) gp. I didn't get a sense from your post that your gp was the right one for you... and then sometimes it can lead to self-blame when things with him aren't so helpful.

It is very hard to change gps and try a new one.I think you're spot on that trust is essential with GPs.... we invest so much time sharing our vulnerabilities with them, it is essential that they are worthy of our time and trust.

I've found genearlly the best ones to be extraordinarly busy, and one's that seem to always have appointments free - can be a bad sign