Tapering of Meds... confused!

[Angeal]

Hi, I'm a new here to BB and writing on any forums in general... but, with 10years of dealing with anxiety, post-nat depression x2 plus taking numerous drugs, speaking to many therapist, I really would like to try and find other means of support.

I have been weaning off antidepressants now for a couple of months. Down gradually.. have been going reasonably well. my emotions have been in checked, a few outburst here or there and vivid dreams but yesterday out from now where two panick attacks.. crying spells and anxiety- this required me to my seek GP but he wanted me to go up again and stay there for a few months...

has anyone else out there been tapering of their meds and found they have hit a wall? can this panic attack and anxiety be part of the 'discontinuation' symptoms that comes with tapering..?

there is a lot happening in my life ATM. Kids, new job and life!!!! This could be contributing aswell!! But, I want to come off these meds so much and be me again.. I'm ready!

Please would love to hear from anyone who may be of help to my overthinking mind today...

[Kazzl]

Hi Angeal, welcome to the forum. We can't give medical advice here, or comment on whether your panic attack was definitely related to reducing medication. I can only share my own experience of transitioning from one medication to another, which involed 'washing out' of the first.

It was hell. I've done it twice and the first time I was suicidal. However, it was done over three weeks, and it sounds like you are taking much longer, which I think is very wise. I don't know about 'hitting the wall' when you're withdrawing completely because I went on to another drug.

Withdrawing puts our brain chemistry through massive changes, so I guess it's to be expected that it won't be an easy or straightforward process. Difficult symptoms related to our underlying condition (which is still there don't forget, drugs just manage it) can return unexpectedly.

So, I guess the question for you is do you risk this continuing and perhaps worsening and push through with the withdrawl, or take you doctor's advice and maybe 'plateau' for a while. Perhaps stay on a lower dose until things settle. For what it's worth, I'd be inclined to do that and let things settle, because when you start reducing again, you are coming off a lower platform. However, again I want to say that I can't advise you on what's best for you, only you and your doctor can work it out.

The one thing I will say is I believe you need to continue medical supervision, no matter which way you go. Withdrawing from powerful drugs isn't something we should do on our own, in my opinion.

Very best to you Angeal, I hope things settle for you soon.

Kaz

[White_Rose]

Hello Angeal

Welcome to Beyond Blue. It can be hard coming off medication. I have done this several times and it really has been hard. Why do you want to stop taking meds? I had two reason, one because I experienced bad side effects from all the different meds I took in that category. I also felt it was somehow shameful to take meds for my mental illness, depression. I should be able to manage this on my own. My reaction is very common.

This is why I am asking why you want stop taking meds. Antidepressants do not 'cure' you. Instead they help to stabilise you, help to keep your mind operating well. If you become drowsy or any other side effect it's a good idea to talk to your GP and perhaps change your meds. Kaz has suggestion you stay at the level you are on now and that's not a bad idea. Again have a chat to your doctor.

My GP changed my ADs from the SSRI group to the first group of ADs to be used. These are the Tricyclic group. It has been wonderful for me because I do not have side effects except a dry mouth, and trust me, that is heaps better than the things that used to happen. They also work very well on me. I have felt better than I have for a long time. Kaz and I keep saying we are not qualified to tell you what to do, medically. These are our experiences.

Have you read any of the other posts on the forum? You may find it useful to browse the site and see how others manage. It's also useful to become acquainted with your illness. Search The Facts drop down list at the top of the page. In fact explore the site. If you want any of the information send for it or download it.

Again from my experience, a few months after going off the ADs I started to feel very much as you have described. Unfortunately I was on holiday in the UK and had none of my familiar activities that help me get over these horrible times were available. Finally I have decided that I need to stay on these ADs for life. But then I take medication for diabetes, so what's the difference. Please don't stop taking ADs or whatever, out of a sense of shame or some vague 'ought to do so' feeling.

Kids, new job and life do have a way of making life stressful. I have four children, all have now left home and started their own families, but I remember those days of small children. Sometimes I wonder how I coped as I had a bullying husband. On my own now.

Love to receive a reply.

Mary

[Angeal]

Thank you Kazzl.

Everything you said is pretty much what I know and should do... Sometimes having someone's else's thoughts and feedback can help.

yesterday, after my post I realised that I had accidentally skipped my dose, which gave a black and white reason to what happened to me. Iv never skipped one before but I have taken them at different times.. I'm guessing the lower dose I'm on can be take effect on my body if I don't take it in the morning ...

its a tough road, mental illness. and a road I would never wish upon anyone to go on.

Wishing you happiness

[Angeal]

Hello Mary,

Thankyou for writing to me and sharing your experiences with me.

My main reason for feeling that I need to come off this medication is that I believe I am ready as I was taking them for my post-natal depression after my son.. I have been feeling great and feeling that I can do life without them...

I know life can throw curve balls and at this is one that I'm facing, but I strongly believe that I can go through anything with other means of therapy...

this medication had slowed down my metabolism, it has given me strange dreams. Basically i feel it has taken over who I was ...

I know the importance of taking medication when needed.. I just believe your mind, body and soul can find a way to do it on its own again without medication.. when it's ready, when your ready.

It might be foolish thinking but Some how I feel I'm ready...

Thank you Mary 🙏🏼

[White_Rose]

Hello Angeal

Thank you for telling me about your medication. In principle I agree with you and wish I had a short term depression that would get better when my body had organised itself. I suppose the reality is some people need ADs to keep them on track and others need them for a short while. Congratulations! I hope I don't appear as a doom and gloom person.

Now what can I do to help and support you while you get through this setback? And it is a setback, not the end of the road. I find meditation great for me. Partly it's the sitting in stillness and silence, partly it's the discipline of everyday meditation, and partly the opportunity to let my body and mind reach a deep place of peace. I also enjoy sitting out on my back patio and letting the world slow down so there is only the birds and me (and sometimes the next door cat).

I love to sew and embroider and do scrapbooking. While I do these things I like to listen to E-books and talks on various things on CD. I have quite a collection of these. I am working with my hands and paying attention, but I feel somehow the message is getting through to my brain when someone is talking. I belong to a book club and often get the books on CD. Haven't found my way round other electronic methods which is a worry as the library is changing the CDs to whatever it is being used. I find that listening to a book is a whole different experience to reading. Perhaps I should employ someone to read to me?

For me to stop overthinking I need to be employed in some way. I don't know how much time you have to yourself, so unless the children are in school I expect you are kept pretty busy. Have you explored MindSpot? They offer online courses which you may find useful. I know several people on BB have them found very useful. The address is www.mindspot.org.au. May be useful to check them out. Have you ever felt the urge to complete tertiary study? Lots of universities have online courses.

If you would like to carry on talking it would be nice.

Mary

[MsPurple]

Hi Angeal.

I think what Kazzl and White Rose have said has hit the nail on the head so I probably don't need to say much. I thought I would post because I want you to feel less alone (which is what I want to know and feel when asking qu on the forums).

I have tried to reduce and taper my medication a few times but the last few times I have felt my anxiety rise again and I could feel the snow balling worries start to affect my functioning. So I returned back to the original prescribed dose which my doctor suggested. It can be very frustrating to feel like you rely on medication for functioning but I am trying to look at it in a different light. Aren't I lucky I live in a time that has medications that can help make my life easier to function normally? Aren't I lucky to be in a time that gives me to tools to make life more bearable with GAD? I know this doesn't help much but I find it helps me not feel so down when I have to stick to my current prescribed dose instead of taper down.

[Angeal]

Well with all that I have said.... I had to go back up to dose... I'm pretty devastated- I feel like a complete failure cause I was doing so well..

I haven't been able to move forward from my panic attack from last Friday.. actually, with each day passing, I have been getting worse.

so with my docs advice I have gone up a dose and work from there... thank you to all who is giving me their support.

i just want these thoughts to leave me alone and let me function.. I can barley function ATM.

[MsPurple]

Hi Angeal

Sorry about you having a flair up in your mental health. We are all here to support each other. You are not a failure for needing to go back up on your meds. It isn't a sign of weakness. It is just what has to be done to help you get better. I try look at it like antibiotics, maybe I could get better without it, but if the dr suggests it why should I safer longer with an illness if the antibiotics can help. Please try not beat yourself up for this, because it is nothing to be ashamed of or to feel less for. Many of us are in the same boat

Hope you feel better soon hun

[White_Rose]

Hello Angeal

This is a short message. I am sorry you have needed to return to taking meds. It does feel like a failure especially when you have worked so hard to get off the meds. But it is not really a failure. Only if you have been too stubborn to return to taking your medications and become significantly more unwell would it have been a failure. You tried damned hard and that is the learning to take out of these past few months. The meds will click in soon and you will feel better.

I understand you want some time to process what is happening and that is natural. Come back and talk to us when you are ready.

Mary