Should I go to therapy?

[Buddy_Pal_Guy]

This evening, I had some family drama (mum got cross at me for incorrectly making her jelly and ended up shouting at me - although I was not blameless because I kept asking her why she was cross about the jelly and should have just left her alone).

So I ended up crying quite a bit (which I try to avoid in front of other people) and discussing what had happened with my sister. I am a nineteen year old girl, and she is older than me. I told her a bit about how I'd been feeling lately, always tired, demotivated, generally feeling a lot of dread and finding it hard to be content, and she mentioned that it might be good for me to see a therapist.

She has social anxiety, which she sees a therapist about. I am not so sure about whether I should do to therapy. It is expensive, firstly, but my parents may be willing to pay. I am a bit worried that my mum will somehow use it as leverage against me. I'm not exactly how she would do that, but to me, it seems like a possibility.

I expressed to her that I wasn't sure about the idea. I've secretly been considering it for a long time, but I don't really want to go to therapy because I feel that the problems in my life are too trivial, and often times self-induced. Like, my demotivation is really just laziness and my lack of energy is just caused by my poor sleep schedule (brought upon myself by my bad habits of staying up late). Basically, I feel like I dramatize all my problems and how I'm feeling - and my situation is probably way less dire than I make it out to be. Even worse, I'm worried that maybe I'm just creating all these problems to get attention (even though I've never confided in her about these problems until now - maybe I'm in it for the long con).

She told me these were a lot of the same things she told her therapist when she started.

Which I understand, but for me it might be different because really I'm worried that I'm just making it all up. That would be terrible. Or maybe I'm just convinced that I'm making it up because I don't want to face any real problems.

Anyways - my big fear about going to therapy is that I will go, and the therapist will tell me that I am being overly dramatic, and basically I'll feel like a huge idiot. I'm not good at conveying my emotions really - how will I explain the things I have felt and experienced? It's really not that serious? I've felt this way for a while, but I'm worried that I'm making it up for either attention or to somehow get revenge on my mum for being unkind?

[Helarctus]

Hello Buddy Pal Guy,

If you go to therapy, their job is to listen to _you_ and help _you_ figure out things. They have training and experience and access to databases and libraries and resources which they can provide for you to look at/read and learn more from.

Even *IF* you are the source of some of the problems, you need to understand the why of you doing that so you can choose how you grow from that point to a healthier (and therefore more happier) you.

Also, things to expect when you go to therapy;

a) It wont be a single visit fix,

- you have years of life history and they only have an hour-ish to listen and think about you, with you in. Expect broad strokes at first, things to reflect upon, watch in yourself and think about.

b) Stick with it,

- really, please do.

c) You don't have to start with the Big Stuff(tm) first.

- as the therapist gets to know you better you can converse more openly and things will get easier to talk about the more complex or deeper subjects.

d) You aren't stuck with the same therapist,

- if it's not working, you can change. Be honest with the therapist about your feelings on this and they can often find someone or provide a referral. It could be something simple like the location is inconvenient or complicated like something reminds you of a Bad Experience(tm) which impacts your ability to talk with them.

Regards,

Helarctus

[Amanda2000]

Hi Buddy Pal Guy,

I'm struggling with the same decision myself at the moment. Unlike a physical illness where you can just get meds and rest to recover, and you know you WILL recover unless it's a terminal illness, there seems to be so much uncertainty/contingencies with mental health recovery. My worry is that the time and cost spent may not make me feel any better in the end. And then I would regret the lost time that I could have spent doing something I enjoy (but lately my head has been in such a mess that I can't even focus on watching tv).

"my demotivation is really just laziness and my lack of energy is just caused by my poor sleep schedule (brought upon myself by my bad habits of staying up late)." - Yes this is me too.

You are not alone!

[memorytrap]

It doesn't hurt to see how it goes, maybe you'll find that being able to get things off your chest in those initial sessions could be useful. I've been to several over a long period and never settled on any one. Sometimes it helps to get a second opinion or try someone new to freshen things up, nothing like a different perspective at various points in your life because we are always evolving. The important thing to remember is you're paying for a service, so it's your money and you have a right to expect value for it. You aren't committed if it isn't working, most therapists should understand that. My advice though is make those immediate problems such as demotivation and sleep patterns upfront and be clear that you need help with those asap, because they are definitely central to feeling better. The best psychologist I went to started introducing me to techniques within the first two sessions. I didn't waste my time with anyone who didn't.

As for the external noise and what other people might think, remember a lot of people don't quite get mental health. Initially it's always best to limit discussions about it and certainly don't go into depth about the sessions with anyone you aren't entirely comfortable with.