Self-Concept Theory - Has anyone done the work?

[DifferentMe]

Shout out and Forumites who have done Self Concept with a psychologist?

Apparently it can be pretty emotional.

Any reading suggestions?

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

While I might not be able to provide you with a reading list, I hope with what I am about to say will give you one way of moving forward .... I am also making the assumption that you are (?) having appointments with a psychologist.

I recently started schema therapy with my psychologist. In a nutshell, this is form of therapy when beliefs about oneself are deeply ingrained. Before we started that, in the 1st session we did a introduction on the topic. And my homework from that session was to do some reading on the topic for the next session. In the 2nd session, we covered what I had read etc. So that is one option.

Another option is to via a google search -

good books about self-concept theory

and then look at the first few pages in the results list. 

Hope this helps.

[DifferentMe]

Thank you Small Wolf. Yes I have a 2 hour session with a Psychologist every week.

You have given me very helpful information.

[therising]

Hi DifferentMe

As you look at opening a Pandora's Box of Self Concept or concept of self and all the inspiring and painful revelations that can come with that, I've found a couple of amazing books to be 'Insanely Gifted' by Jamie Catto and 'Becoming Supernatural' by Joe Dispenza.

While Catto (who has a great sense of humor) works with the idea that there are many different facets that go toward making up who we are and how those facets sound, feel, behave, come to life, are triggered and influence us etc, Dispenza looks at the idea of mind/body/spirit from a fascinating perspective (neuroplasticity/epigenetics/quantum physics) and how the 3 tie in together in highly significant ways. While sounding somewhat complex, it's actually a fairly easy read for the lay person. The 'supernatural' part relates to what is incredibly natural, when it comes to how we tick.

Self concept is definitely a fascinating rabbit hole to go down, leading in so many different directions. I've found establishing good guides/resources while exploring is absolutely key.

Wishing you an inspiring and liberating exploration.🙂

[DifferentMe]

Hi therising 👋🏼 I think you swallowed a Psychology Phd 😄 Wonderful information, thank you. My Psychologist did give me fair warning that this is going to get messy and emotional.

Due to your experience, do you think self-concept work is the basis to change a person’s meanings and attitudes, and changes the lenses through which they view their world?

Is it worth ripping the old scabs off and dealing with the scars, is what I’m asking.

[therising]

Hi DifferentMe

I find self understanding to be an incredibly fascinating thing. From 'What is the self? to 'What is my self?', sometimes I think our ultimate purpose in life involves self discovery. From basic fascination through to deeply emotional mind altering and life changing revelations, self understanding can be a wonderful/wonder filled and torturous thing.

Take love, for example. Such a simple word yet what are we led to believe love is? Is it, according to chemistry, simply a combo of oxytocin, dopamine and other chemicals that we can physically feel? How do we love? What facets of us love and feel loved and what facets don't? Why can't we love or feel love? Can it be more of a soulful thing and, if so, does that imply we have some soulful aspect of self (a whole other rabbit hole to go down)? If love is found in evolution, does that explain why we feel it more between our self and the people who lead us to grow in so many incredible ways? Can that also explain why we feel it least between our self and the people who leave us or have left us alone to suffer through what can feel so depressing (the feeling of not moving forward while standing still alone in darkness)? 'Love' is one of the many things in that Pandora's Box. Btw, I found in personal evolution there is self love, a personal investment in our own growth (such as with the quest to better know and raise our self). One of the greatest challenges, when it came to defining what love means to me, came down to suddenly discovering all the people in my life who never loved me in the ways I really needed them to. Not everyone loves in the same ways.

I think once we enter into a quest for greater self understanding, there are a heck of a lot of questions. The greater the quest, the more questions. Getting a feel for the best guides on that quest definitely creates a 'fast tracking' experience. 🙂

[smallwolf]

hello differentme,

I just wanted to respond to this part of your post:

Is it worth ripping the old scabs off and dealing with the scars, is what I’m asking.

I hope you don't mind if I go back to schema therapy stuff as I think it might help (?) here. In 25 words or less, schema therapy is where beliefs are deeply ingrained that regular therapy is not effective. While I can logically agree with my psychologist, friend about things I know to be true and reasonable, my upbringing conditioned me otherwise. The effect this has had is that while I might be "kind" (some people say these things) I still believe I am wrong/bad/shame because those same actions betray what I have been taught to believe.  I hope that makes sense. Another part of this is that I found out that while I can easily get grumpy i cannot get angry. I would have have just push things down. And now we (psych and myself) are working on that.

Unless I ripped off the old scabs, I would not be able to deal with the scars underneath. I see the scars underneath as finding ways to modify my beliefs to align more to what I know is reasonable and human and caring.

I hope this makes sense, and perhaps if I said I was raised in a reasonably strict christian home, it would make more sense.  Hope you get something from this.

That is part 1.

Part 2 is how you deal with the new knowledge.

On the flipside ... what happens if you don't rip the scabs off?

[DifferentMe]

👋🏼 @smallwolf thank you so much for following up with me. It means a lot to me that you took the time to reach out to me.

 I’m human therefore I will make mistakes. I don’t know everything. But do know that what I have done so far has left me homeless, financially broken and ended a career.

It is time I stopped doing what got me in this unfortunate situation. 
Life is short. At the most I have 20 years remaining.

 I need relationships that inspire and energise me.

[smallwolf]

hey DifferentMe,

change can be difficult. And I also wish you luck and good health as you starting this journey.  It takes courage to acknowledge our past and make a change. Life is indeed precious, and your desire for inspiring and energizing relationships is a positive step. If you like  ...  I'm here to support your journey.

[DifferentMe]

@smallwolf, do you have any experience with narcissistic abuse?

I need as much support as I can get. I have lost my self esteem. My short term memory is struggling. I don’t know if it is the trauma of the abuse, or that I was couch surfing for 10 months.

Other people have had it so much worse than me. 
I’m very grateful to everyone that has helped me. 
I’m more freaked out that I have no clue what my future holds.

I’m going to WORKSKIL job agency tomorrow.

At my age (60) I don’t feel that anyone would want to employ me 🤷🏼‍♀️

This time of night I get really down.