Scared of medication

[Mattie_B]

Hi,
Newbie here.

I have recently had a mental break, that was triggered by severe insomnia for about 4 weeks.

My mind wouldn't stop racing and I was unable to function during the days, not able to work, crying all the time and a downright mess. I have had a history with GAD since 2004 and was able to overcome it with natural therapies specifically acupuncture. Fueled due to my severe fear of antidepressants and my research of them.

My recent breakdown I couldn't use any natural remedies, acupuncture was not working nor meditation.

Being so crippled I decided to see my GP for sleeping aids, just to try get past the first few weeks of insomnia. But taking the medication and not sleeping well triggered my GAD to resurface, also with the added effects of depression I ended up being curled up in a ball just crying and not able to use logical thinking to calm myself.

I went back to my GP and told them how much of a Mess I was. I have young kids 5,3, and 7 month old and a beautiful wife. Our family home is great, I have a good job although stressful of late, I had at the time been unable to pin point the triggered for me to regress so badly.

My GP prescribed me medication. 

Under ANY other circumstance for example if my doctor prescribed me medicine to heal a festering wound which could lead to infection I wouldn't hesitate or even think twice about taking the medication.

BUT for this... my fear of the drugs is high. I have pushed through that barrier using logic, but I am still unable to accept the medication and be calm about taking them.

My side effects have been nothing really. But my anxiety is still crippling me at the moment and I fear the drugs are not treating it properly.

I have now been on them for 4 weeks. I have been told to stick it out for 2 more weeks.

I am also using medication to combat nights of sleeplessness. Which I also have fears of using.

Not matter what logic I try to apply I am always fearful of these medications, and struggling in accepting them.

I have just started to see a Pshyc, have had experience before, am trying to implement CBT of what i remember. I have created a Mantra for myself that I use daily to try re-program my through behavior.

I am not a patient person, and I recognize I need time to right the right medication that will help me the most.

But I struggle with accepting the use of medication. The fear is constantly there.

Anyone else have this experience?

[Mattie_B]

I was put through to mental health services that night and the next day saw them.
They changed my medication.

I have been on them for 3-4 weeks now, and there has been big improvements with my day time mood and sleep has improved.

Still have bad nights and good nights. But hopeful now this is the right medication.