Scared Of Going Backwards In My Treatment

[Dreamwish]

Hi everyone

Well starting the journey into getting help instead of being more and more self destructive was a very hard step for me but I know now it's the best thing I've ever done. My GP is great, so caring and really listens and is so genuine with his compassion for me. He's very hard to get an appointment with unfortunately because he is such a good dr and impossible to see him if it's a crisis thing and I've needed an urgent appointment which is hard for me.

After a few different psychologists, psychoanalysts and counsellors and mental health nurse appointments without feeling connected to any of them, about a year ago I found the most wonderful psychotherapist and person to talk to ever, she has really changed my life and I began to heal. I have ptsd, depression, ocd and anxiety. Unfortunately my therapist is moving away and after a year of therapy I was only just beginning the first steps of healing and this is so devastating for me. She was the most nicest most caring and smart and compassionate person and the only person I have ever opened up to and now she's gone. She has another psychoanalyst to replace her if her patients wish to see someone else, a woman I have seen for maybe 1 or 2 appointments in the past and didn't connect with.

I think I will give the other therapist a try but I don't hold much hope as I already know her from past experience. She was brash, outgoing, a bit bossy, really the total opposite of my therapist I have now. I live in a small to medium town so while there is choices of who to see, at least my therapist will pass on my notes to her replacement and I won't have to start from scratch with that one but if I go somewhere else it could just be more painful and going backwards to start all over again.

I'm so worried and anxious and if this is the universe testing me as I was getting better well I can't take any more tests, I can't take any more stress I will crumble and I'm already defeated and struggling against the tide. To not have any more therapy is a death sentence really. I can't put up with any more.

Not sure how anyone can help, but if someone else has started new with therapy and it was fine, that would be encouraging. Thanks for reading.

dreamwish

[white knight]

Hi Dreamwish,

Therapy, can be amazing. One sentence can change so much. Eg

My therapist in 1987 said

"Tony, you are black and white, but your problem is, the world is made up of people of grey"

"Tony, why do you attend work with the attitude you have to save the world"?

" You worry that you'll have your boss knick on your door...when are you going to begin thinking realistically"?

"Tony, you can see and feel so much but, you can't see the aura that glows from you...if you did you'd cry with happiness"

So, even one sentence from a therapist that you can remember is worth gold.

Try to keep your expectations low and enjoy the experience.

Tony WK

[Melfunction81]

Hi dreamwish 🙂 not sure if this was the post you were talking about but I can see it. I know exactly what you're going through as just when I found a great GP who actually cared I had to leave the area and start again.

Id suggest trying with this replacement but if you aren't connecting maybe ask if she can send your file somewhere else so you dont have to start over. There's not much point seeing someone you're not comfortable enough with to open up to

I hope it works out for you xox

[Dreamwish]

Omg thank goodness my post hadn't disappeared, I searched for it over the first 20 pages all day and was trying not to freak out but I couldn't work out where it had gone as it was still showing up in my profile. It may take me a while to work this forum thingy out 🙂

Those are some pearls of wisdom from your therapist dear Tony, the help a good therapist can provide is life changing, I've been blessed to have mine for the last year and unfortunately will now compare all others to her and I hope one of them measures up. I'm sure its possible she's not the only good one. I should give the new one a fair chance. Do you still see yours Tony? How wonderful it is that these angels exist.

Thanks mel for finding my post that is so kind of you to reply. You're going through so much right now but you still took the time to write back to me, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Good idea on that I can get my notes transferred anywhere hopefully but I'll make an appointment soon with this new one and see how it goes. I wish you well too on your search for another caring gp, they are out there in abundance.

Well wishes and much love to you both

dreamwish

[blondguy]

Hello Dreamwish

I really felt your pain with having to go from therapist to therapist....it reminded me of my early days of trying to get some help until I realised that every therapist was trying their hardest and I didnt really give them a fair go.

I found my legend therapist years ago who was a mental health care worker from my local council. He was a gem and he had me crying my heart out (venting) on the second visit...It felt awful at the time but after two days I felt like I used to feel....relatively carefree...he cleansed me...

He also insisted I see him weekly for six months which I agreed and did having acute anxiety at the time.

I hope you also get a chance to 'let go' and have a huge cry too 🙂

Tony WK has written an excellent post above too about the true value of a counselor....

Great post Dreamwish

we are here for you

my kindest thoughts

Paul

[geoff]

dear Dreamwish, isn't that something all wish for in life, but unfortunately it doesn't happen, but it doesn't stop us from having a dream and wishing the best for us.
You have a great deal of illness's which will definitely need someone you can connect with, but you would be wasting your time going back to this other psychanalyst, you may end up going backwards, that's not what you want nor do we want for you.
Depression and anxiety are both terrible types of depression but when you add in OCD and PTSD it will need some person who is capable of helping you and not dictating to you.
These wonderful people are right you can have your files transferred to any other doctor, psychologist or psychoanalyst when ever you want to.
I would get your doctor to give you a few other choices, and usually within one or definitely two sessions you will knw if that person suits you, and any reluctance at all then it's not worth persevering with.
With myself I had a psychologist for 20 years she understood me, but then she left which upset me so I was given another psychologist, but I didn't like him because he told me that they is no OCD ansd always questioned whatever I said, so I left him, I had to otherwise I would have continued to be a wreck, it was not worth the effort.
Can I just say that when you post a comment it has to be passed by the Moderators just in case there is nothing that is said that goes against the rules, so it may take a little while before they are posted, even more so on the week ends.
Geoff. x

[Dreamwish]

Dearest Paul and Geoff

Your knowledge and experience and kind words have been so reassuring for me, you guys have no idea how much your heartfelt responses have helped. My deepest gratitude and thanks.

much love and gratefulness

dreamwish

[blondguy]

Hey Dreamwish

you are more than welcome and mega thanks for the compliment too!

you are not alone here and if it wasnt for for people like yourself posting there would be no forums

my kindest and (Hugs) if thats okay 🙂

Paul