Medication withdrawal and major depression

[Melfunction81]

This is my first thread and I don't quite know how to start so let me just jump right in there.

I have recently come off of a medication for opioid dependence and although its been over two weeks and most of the physical symptoms have dissipated my mental health has taken a turn for the worse.

I already suffer from PTSD, anxiety, major depression and psychosis but what Im going through right now can only be described as pure hell. I have never felt so alone or without hope. I spoke to my GP, who tried to stop me from coming off this medication, saying that I was feeling suicidal and that I would like to go up on my antidepressants he told me that all I would be doing would be replacing one drug with another so I should have just stayed on it. He told me to try exercise and then he sent me on my way.

Now I am left alone with these terrible thoughts because my GP, along with other GPs, D&A workers and psychiatrists I have spoken to, have no training on how to help someone come off this medication. I have even contacted the pharmaceutical companies asking about research into withdrawal because I'm at my wits' end. I have spent the last two hours googling and joining NA support groups and chat rooms and no one would even reply to me.

Am I the only person on the planet going through this? There must be others. I don't even remember why I started writing this thread. I guess I'm just tired of not getting any answers or any help.

I can't talk to my dad or his gf because my mental health has stressed them out so much I've been asked to find somewhere else to live after moving here to the country with them where I don't know a soul, at their request. I can't talk to my mum or sister because it upsets them too much. I can't talk to my best friend because he passed away. I literally have no one! I just wanted someone to understand, to tell me that this will end, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That someone out there cares enough to help me through this because right now, I'm stuck and I don't know if I can make it through this time.

[Dreamwish]

Dear melfunction

I just wanted to let you know that even though I don't know you, I care about the struggle you are going through and want to help. I also hope you can receive my message because I made a thread and got no replies and now it has disappeared so I don't know how this forum works at all, if only I can see my posts and not others or if I'm just getting ignored. Not sure but hopefully this post will show up.

Unfortunately I am not going through the same struggle as you mine is different, but coming off a medication that you've come to rely on physically and mentally can be a really tough time and well done to you for reaching out for help and not giving up. I find it astonishing that your gp was so dismissive of your feelings especially when you told them you were suicidal and saying to increase your medication!? Do some exercise instead!? Not very helpful in my opinion and would have made you feel worse.

I can't give very much specific advice as I don't have any experience in this, but in qld where I live we have ATODS, not sure if they would be of any help to you? What I know about them is they have dr's to monitor the withdrawal symptoms and psychologists to help with the mental health side of things with counselling and working out the issues that were there to begin with. Just a suggestion, I'm sorry I can't be of any more help.

Just want to let you know that even though I'm a stranger on a forum, I care and where there is a will theres a way and take each day at a time and you will get through this, your struggle will not be in vain.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are going.

Kind thoughts n wishes

dreamwish

[Melfunction81]

Hi dreamwish thank you for your reply 🙂

I had a hard night/morning with night terrors and had an out of the blue seizure so sorry if this will be a short message

Im in country victoria at the moment and theres not much availavle out here.

There's something called and AOD withdrawl nurse not sure if thats the same as your ATODS? I tried to get an appointment but he was always off sick or not around. He did put me on to a psychiatrist but Ive just been kicked out of home and at $75 a session I cant afford to see him as Im on a disability pension and already stuck paying the mountain of debt my ex left me in. I was seeing a bulk billed psychiatrist but he was crazier than me and was no help at all. Hopefully when i move closer to the city there will be more help available to me.

Thank you for taking the time to write to me it means so much just to know someone cares

Much love to you xox

[Dreamwish]

Dear mel

I'm so sorry to hear about your terrible night with the terrors and a seizure on top of that. I can relate well to night terrors I sleep with the light on now and it seems to have stop them a bit and not so many. I'm not sure why the light works but it does. Do you know what caused the seizure? I really hope you had someone there to help you when that happened! Sounds very scary. It's a shame there is not many agencies in country victoria for you to see face to face but there is always the internet and phone numbers to call for information, maybe even your local hospital could advise you on a course of action with what's going on at the moment?

Getting help is very expensive I've found too and you don't always get what you pay for. Are there any other options you have in regards to bulk billed psychiatrists? They aren't all bad you just have to keep searching for one you connect with. It's amazing how out of touch some of them get despite being "experts" in their field. But the good ones are a godsend for their patients.

The aod nurse does sound like what ATODS does except for the not being around part! I hope he could be of more assistance to you if you could get more appointments with him and explain your financial situation. Good help should not be just for the rich thats for sure.

I should really be trying to sleep now its been a crappy day with anxiety and feeling very low but having someone to talk to has made my day worthwhile at least getting out of bed, so thank you for letting me in a little bit of your life and I really hope it starts getting better for you soon as possible. Let me know how the rest of the day went? Have you found somewhere else to live?

Best wishes and much love dear mel

dreamwish

[Melfunction81]

Good morning Dreamwish:) I hope you had a good nights rest. I'm not sure what caused the seizure, I did some research and apparently two of my medications can cause them also stress and lack of sleep so it could have been anything. I have had one before about 16 years ago when I was going through drug withdrawal

Thats a good idea to try sleeping with the light on I will try that tonight, unfortunately I had 0 hours of sleep last night so I will hopefully get some tonight

Im going to inspect a house tomorrow so fingers crossed its a good fit and I get it. Theres not much in the way of rentals out here so landlords can afford to be picky. Im a great tenant but I have a cat and a dog and no one seems to allow pets around here. Funny I thought being the country animals would be the norm

Its been really nice having you to talk to it has made such a difference to how i felt from when i signed up just two days ago so thank you Dreamwish

I hope your anxiety is better today have a great day xox

[geoff]

dear Mel, I know that you and Dreamwish have replied to each other on Dreamwish's post so that's good for you both to have a connection already.
There could be different reasons why you have had a seizure, as I'm an epileptic and had many seizures because of too much alcohol, but now it's controlled by medication, however with an opioid addiction I think that your doctor would like you to continue taking it because it's such a strong addiction that could quite easily come back and after 2 weeks for me doesn't seem to be enough.
I'm no doctor and don't have the right to say what I just said, I only know that my doctor wouldn't give me a certain medicine because it has addictive tendencies, however that's not going to help you.
By being kicked out of your dad's place and unable to get support from your mother or sister makes you being left in a vulnerable position, but what you have to remember that by having a seizure means that the electricity in your brain is going haywire, so you need medication to stop this, but again that's up to your doctor.
I would just like to ask you whether you have been admitted to hospital and I would think maybe so, and in regard to ATOD is 'alcohol tobacco and other drugs', the same as AOD but that would be your port of call to try and get put into hospital once again where they would have the facilities to help you.
They will also be able to give an EEG to determine what's going on in your brain.
I haven't been much help for you, so I'm sorry, but hope you can get back to us. Geoff.

[White_Rose]

Dear Melfunction

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. I am sorry only one person has responded to your post when you are in such distress. Dreamwish has given you some great ideas.

I had a similar and very unfortunate experience to you. Last year I found I had breast cancer. Had surgery and radiation treatment, all OK. I was given a medication by the oncologist. I have had lots of traumas and my GP has been prescribing antidepressants for several years. Not that they were wonderful, but they have kept me afloat. Well, the AD and the oncology pills interacted badly.

My mental health went down like an express lift and I was so distressed and depressed that I did try the suicide route. I have people around me who care and I was taken to hospital, apparently unconscious as I do not remember any of it. I stopped taking the oncology pills immediately. No problem there. Then started to get off the AD. Slowly yes, but not slowly enough. Once off I was not going back and I spent several months in distress but with the support of my GP and various friends. I did not tell my family because I felt ashamed and did not want to frighten them.

All the symptoms you describe were also mine. Really horrible. I wish I could tell you how to manage but I only know I stumbled through the whole thing with people helping, talking to me, reassuring me. I did not realise how many people cared. My GP was a rock, the most wonderful person. At one point we talked about going to hospital. The public health system would not admit me so we did not try them. Found a private hospital and a psychiatrist ready to admit me. Took one look at the place and ran away.

It took me four months to approach normality, if I can use that word. My GP also changed my AD and that has been the best thing to come out of the whole sorry story. I have a history of bad reactions to drugs of any sort but this one, from the original Tricyclic AD group has been a life saver.

So a rather lengthy reply to your question. I hope I am not discouraging you. My GP tells me when something is amiss that I will feel better in X weeks. She also reminds me that I will not suddenly get well at the end of the stated time. I will be getting better every day. In one week I will better than the previous week etc. Hold on to that thought, every day you will be better than the day before.

Please continue to write in here. Others will be along soon.

Mary

[Melfunction81]

Hi Geoff 🙂 Thanks for taking the time to post a reply.

I have made an appointment to see my GP today to discuss possible reasons for the seizure I had on Saturday. I'm not sure what he will suggest as this is only the second time it's happened in my 35 years. My pharmacist doesn't think it would have been caused by my medication as I have been on the same dose for a while and she said it would normally only happen when first starting or going up on my dosage which I haven't done. I'm hoping I won't have to go to hospital as the seizure knocked me for six and I feel totally drained, is this normal? If so how long does it usually last?

I have not been admitted to hospital as I chose to do a home detox due to having high anxiety and just overcoming agoraphobia, I figured I was better off at home than surrounded by strangers. As yet I have no interest what so ever in returning to drug use and I am pretty sure it will stay that way. My D&A worker has even said I no longer need to see him weekly and that he's just a phone call away if I do need him so I think that's a positive sign.

My GP appointment is at 3 today so ill check back later and let you know what he think regarding the seizure

Thanks again for your reply Geoff 🙂

[geoff]

dear Mel, I really appreciate your return reply but please it would be great to know what's happening. Geoff.