Refusing help - what can I do

[susie99]

My sister is totally addicted to prescription drugs and Doctor and Chemist shops to keep getting more. She has Overdosed 3 times in the past 2 months but her partner doesn't ring an ambulance or anything as he thinks he has it under control. He just sits with her until she wakes up or tried to walk her around for hours until she sobers up.

She refuses to get treatment - if an ambulance was called every time she od's and she is taken to hospital numerous times. What are the chances of the hospital having her committed so she can dry out ???

I am just waiting for the call that she has died...I need to do something.

[Croix]

Dear Susie99~

Thanks for your post. I can feel your frustration and fear on behalf of your sister.

I'm afraid you are not in the best position to intervene if her partner is next of kin. This leaves you with 2 people to convince that more needs to be done. For a start is there anyone else in the family, including the partner's side, that you can talk to and enlist to help?

Failing that can you persuade your sister to take you to her doctor with her and explain the situation? I don't think things would be that simple even if the hospital could 'dry her out'. If she has a problem with prescription drugs that may be the result of something else.

Does you sister get all her medication from the same doctor, if not how?

Please write back and say more

Croix

[SubduedBlues]

Hi Susie99

I know now enough of this situation to provide solid advice on how to get your sister's partner to change his ways, but in my experience, often, it is easier to get someone to change their behavior when you accept their current argument for inaction as the correct answer.

For example, he is claiming that he has it under control. Therefore, agree with him. Tell him that you are aware that he has it all under his control. And, when he re-asserts that he does, remind him that also means he is responsible for her actions, he is responsible because he is in control.

Pause for effect, let him realize that he does have that responsibility.

Smile and thank him for acknowledging that he is responsible for her actions, good, bad or otherwise. If/when she makes a mistake or does something wrong, it's 100% his responsibility, as he is in control.

--

No need to continue the discussion further, as he'll need time to process the ramifications of being "in control" as he put it. And what exactly that means.

Once the seed of thought is planted, that he is responsible, one cannot stop it from growing.

We influence changes in other people's behavior through the planting seeds of thought, to where, eventually, they decide for themselves that this new course of action is the better choice. We cannot change other people, only they can change themselves, we can only plant the seeds of thought.

Well, that's what I think
SB

[Dr_Kim]

Hi Susie99,

The situation with your sister is very distressing and frustrating but also not uncommon. Many families have a loved one who is under the influence of a substance that is both unhealthy and often dangerous mentally and physically . It is so incredibly frustrating not to be able to "make them see sense". 

Your situation is even more difficult as the partner appears to be an "enabler" - meaning he is enabling her to continue her dangerous addiction / dependence. 

However , I don't think a hospital or anyone can force your sister to make changes in her life that she doesn't want.

The only way really is to hope that she feels some motivation to get to the bottom of why she is using these drugs . What is she trying to ease in her life that she can't do in other more healthy ways ? 

Your best bet to calmly express to both of them your concerns about the addiction and the risks involved and offer support when / if she decides to tackle the problem.
 
You might like to read up on websites like http://www.naranon.com.au/ for some more info on ideas on how to support a family member with addiction whilst still looking after yourself !