Nothing is going my way no options left

[Tweet-Heart]

I am 38 single and still live at home and completely trapped with no-way out. A brief background 3 years ago I suffered horrendous bullying including being stalked and unwanted physical contact. I ended up going into hospital for the first time ever for seven weeks diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and have had three other acute inpatient admissions, twice in 2016, including in emergency and . I also had other issues at the time including my grandmother having a stroke and my aunty who has since died being diagnosed with terminal cancer. I reported the stalking to the police in 2015 and 2016. I need to find a place of my own but can't afford it. Last year I had to go into hiding for a few weeks due to emotional abuse and threatening behavior but was exited as I a single and they told me they are only extending women with children. I have been handballed and referred to various housing agencies who keep telling me because I am single they can't help me find somewhere secure to live. I can't go into private rental or a rooming house as they are not suitable options due to my mental health. I am not eligible for public or social housing and if I was the waiting list is too long. I have tried everything and am struggling and don't even feel like getting out of bed. I am going to be trapped in this abusive home environment for the rest of my life as I can't find safe, long term affordable housing. I feel like a loser with no sense of identity or purpose. I cannot work, study or function due to my condition. I have engaged lawyers to pursue an income protection and tpd claim but not confident I will get either.

[Doolhof]

Hi Tweet-Heart,

It does sound like you have tried many different avenues to find independent housing. Are you saying that one or both of your parents are being abusive while you are living in their home?

I do understand that mental health issues can be very debilitating and can limit how we feel we can cope and what we can manage.

Recently I have been in a very deep pit and have been trying to hard to get myself out of the rut I have found myself in.

Today I have planned to go to the library and a local plant nursery so I get out of the house. Are there some things you can plan to do?

Do you have a garden where you are? Even sitting out in the fresh air for a while can make a huge difference. What about a walk?

It can be very tough to find ways to move forward. Hopefully you can set up small goals and achievements and feel a little better about yourself. It is hard! It is worth it though. I know I don't want to sit in this dark place forever.

Cheers to you from Dools

[Tweet-Heart]

Thanks Dools it's one family member been going on got 30 years. Exhausted all housing options been told I'm a single woman and I am trapped it is very deleterious to my mental health and I've done everything I can society has let me down in a big way.

[Croix]

Dear Tweet-Heart~

I'm afraid I can't find your other posts, so do not know all you have said, however what you have mentioned here does paint a pretty grim picture. Sadly being the survivor of abuse very often leaves one feeling diminished, powerless, of little worth and hopeless. Its the ultimate unfairness as it happens though no fault of one's own.

I"m not aware of your current circumstances so if I'm not directly addressing matters I apologize.

Society does not handle these matters well, as you have found out, and that is more a reflection on society than you.

I'd only like to offer a couple of things. The first is that any support in such circumstances can make a difference. Can I suggest you ring our own 24/7 Help line on 1300 22 4636 and see what support groups are available in your area? Talking in person with others who have related problems can help.

The other thing is that it would be easy to discount Mrs Dool's advice as maybe missing the point. I've found however she is quite right. No matter how grim the overall scene having things, no matter how small, to occupy one, take the mind away, and give a little measure of satisfaction is good for the soul, and in time builds up strength and coping skills, leaving one more able to deal with the things one has to face.

Might seem a bit unrealistic, however books, movies, carpentry, exercise all have provided comfort to me, and continue to do so. Are there things like that in your life?

Croix

[Tweet-Heart]

Thanks Croix

No I don't find pleasure in anything anymore. My team is in the grand final, the sun is shining and I don't feel happy. I am empty and have no future. I haved tried everything. I am society's reject and pretty soon my life is a waste of time.

[Tweet-Heart]

I've been in an out of hospital, tried these groups, been dumped by four psychiatrists with no continuity of care. I am sick of it and I have tried everything.

[Croix]

Dear Tweet-Heart~

I just saw where you have been giving support to another, SP Jamie. I'm sure that relating your experiences will have helped. So often a person can feel isolated as if their problems are just theirs, so contributions such as yours can really help.

As for being embarrass or regretful. I'm quite sure you realize that one has a special relationship with a therapist. Even though it is paid for when they really click, or do something extra, or in your case shield you from another, it is so easy to respond.

All it means is you are warm person. Would you want to be any other way?

Croix

[Tweet-Heart]

I'm a warm person always put everyone before myself.

Thanks Croix I went to a GP let it all out.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Tweet-Heart,

We're writing as we are concerned about you and want to let you know that our Support Service have sent you an email wanting to get in touch.

It's great that you have come to our safe and supportive community and we are so grateful that you have. The communtiy are here for you, please know that things can get better. 

We would strongly recommend giving our wonderful friends at Lifeline a call - 13 11 14, they can talk to you and help you through difficult moments. 

Keep reaching out to us and letting us know how you are when you feel up to it.

[Tweet-Heart]

Thanks Sophie M this afternoon a nice lady saw me distressed and took me to a GP who has seen me once before. I am still feeling distressed. I am worried about the future with no income coming in and how before this happened in 2015 I was about to achieve my goals. I have been unemployed for almost a year, tried to do a certificate IV for one day a week couldn't cope, tried volunteering couldn't cope it's never been this bad.

No GP, psychiatrist or medication can help me. It is the circumstances causing the distress.