Not sure if my psychologist suits me, what do I do?

[LonelySparrow]

Hi, this is the first time I post here and just joined this website recently.

I have severe depression and anxiety due to past and present events. I was referred to a psychologist by a psychiatrist, while talking about my past. My psychologist will interrupt my stories and asked questions in a humor way, she interrupts me few times throughout the sections, is this normal?

Thank you.

[Lici]

Hi LonelySparrow,

Welcome to the forums! I hope you find it helpful here. It's a very supportive and non judgemental environment and everyone is really super nice!

I see that your psychologist interrupts you to ask questions, this is a normal part of therapy from my experience as they will need to ask questions or maybe prompt you to think about certain things etc as part of the therapy. What sort of questions does she ask you? Are they questions asking for more information?

The humour part may just be her way of trying to build rapport with you and a way of establishing trust. Trust and building rapport with clients is very important to a psychologist as they want the best outcome for you. Have you tried being honest with her and telling her that you find the humour uncomfortable? After all she's there to help you and knowing what makes you uncomfortable and what needs to be changed in her delivery of therapy is something that she needs to know.

I'm studying psychology at the moment and they talk about tailoring treatment for each individual as being fundamental to being a psychologist so I'm sure yours will be happy to change what isn't working for you. Never feel anxious about being honest with her, it's her job to help and not judge you in any way.

In the end, if you tell her that it makes you uncomfortable and she doesn't change things, then you don't have to continue to see her and always have the option to see someone else.

I hope that this helps some and that things look up for you soon!

Kind regards,

Lici

[LonelySparrow]

Hi Lici,

Thank you for your response. I was very sad when I was talking about my stories, so is a bit weird when the humor came in, is like she is trying to be funny but I don’t find it funny at all.

She made assumption or statement about my views on relationship which I am not agree on.

I am the type who is very scare to voice up my views. I hate to make others uncomfortable because of me.

Thank you for reading.

[Lici]

Hi LonelySparrow,

It's normal to be sad and emotional when talking to someone about things that are making you depressed. I wonder if her humour was to try and cheer you up a little? I would honestly tell her that you don't find the joking helpful, I'm sure she'll apologise and stop. She's only human after all and won't realise that something is wrong unless you tell her.

A part of a psychologists job is to make insights about aspects that they may see when a client is talking to them. Sometimes it's hard to see that we talk about things a certain way but someone from the outside can see it clearer. I know that there were many things that I didn't agree with that my psychologist said at the time, only to realize later that she was right.

It's important to challenge our belief systems on relationships and a range of things that may not be helping us and at first it can feel really threatening. Next time she says something you don't agree with, tell her you don't agree with it and why you don't agree with it. She may be able to expand on her reasoning more and it may make more sense.

I know it's really hard to speak up, but that really is a fundamental part of seeing a psychologist. It's more like a conversation where you can discuss ideas and worries and tell them things that worry you at the same time. If you don't discuss things with her, how will she know how to help you in the best way?

I really hope that you sort it out one way or another. Keep me updated on how things go.

Kind regards,

Lici

[geoff]

Hello LS, and welcome to the BB.

What Lici has said is what I agree with, so there's no point me mentioning them again.

What I would like to say is that I had a psychologist I was seeing for 20 years, it was a Workcover claim, who was terrific, and when I was trying to say something but got 'tongue-tied' she would interrupt and I could accept that because it helped me out.

Compare this to the second psychologist after the other one retired, well he tried to help me out when I became 'tongue-tied', but I didn't feel comfortable with him doing this.

The reason why is because he said no one needs to take any AD's, nor should they take painkillers or any other medication what's so ever.

He also believed that I shouldn't have OCD, something I've had for 58 years and when I said something he kept on saying 'why', all of this I often questioned him, all he said was that he can't remember when he took any tablet at all.

I told him 'wait until you have a hip operation or go to the dentist'.

I stopped going to him after a couple of sessions and wondered why he had a business.

If you feel uncomfortable then tell your psychologist, you're there to be helped. Geoff.