Not sure about what to say to my psychologist

[Soberlicious96]

Hi all. I have not been on here in AGES, so please forgive me if I am out of practice!

I've been seeing a psychologist for about 6 or 7 months now and it's mostly going well, but I have a little issue and I'm not sure what to do or say about it.

I was orginally referred to her because she is a specialist in ADHD, Autism and neurodivergence and at the time, I just wanted some help with some anxiety and confusion I was experiencing around that. The problem is that every single time I see a phych, it seems as though they always want to do 'trauma work' and although, yes, I did have a lot of trauma happen to me when I was very young, I just feel like I am done with talking about that. I feel it (the trauma) is now placed firmly in the past where it belongs and where I am happy to leave it there.

I did say, when I started with her, that I didn't really want a diagnosis of ADD/ADHD because I didn't want to be medicated and although I still don't want to be medicated, I do think that perhaps a diagnosis (of ADD or ADHD) would perhaps answer some questions around my cognitive function. I guess with that, she had to do some sort of work with me, given that my doctor referred me and all that.

So my question is this: how to I tell her to please stop going back to my trauma and trying to get me to 'heal more' from it? I just feel strongly like I don't want to do that kind of 'work' on that any more. I want to focus on what is happening here and now.

I used to have regular frequent nightmares, for example, from the trauma, but I have not had any nightmares for ages now. And I mean a few years! Certainly not regular frequent ones. That to me is evidence enough that I have done enough work on the trauma and am now in a very different place. I just need to get this whole attention deficit thing figured out now, is all.

Anyway, feedback welcome. She really is a lovely psychologist. Just not quite going the direction I want, if that makes sense.

[Croix]

Dear Soberlicious96~

How nice to hear from you again, I hope time has treated you kindly since you were last here.

I would not be surprised if most people did not have trauma or one sort or another in their lives and I guess it must be a great temptation for clinicialns to feel that needs to be addressed.

As you say your psychologist is lovely why not have a discussion with her and tell her straight out you feel that working on trauma at the moment is taking up time to little effect and your desire is to work on attention deficit and similar as they are the immediate problems.

She can agree, try for a compromise, or simply refuse ot change. Perhaps before having that  conversation you might like to consider what you might like to do in response to any of these three  responses.

Visits to a psych, if you are on a Medicare Mental Health Plan are limited to 6 or 10 visits per year and normally have a gap fee to pay. Seen in that light there is no time or money to waste, each visit must be used to best effect.

I hope that helps, and I'd really like it if you let us know how you got on

Croix

[sbella02]

Hey there, welcome back! Firstly, that's amazing to hear that the nightmares have ceased, that means that your healing journey is well underway and you should be very proud of yourself. 

Therapy/psychology sessions are meant to be about you and discovering what can be done to help you with what you may be struggling with. There's definitely no harm in taking your next psych session in a different direction that aligns with what you need help with the most. Your psychologist is there to help you, and she'll likely welcome you taking the session in another direction. You could even mention your progress with lack of nightmares, and if you'd like, you can use this as a reason to change the focus to something more current and pressing for you.

I hope this helps! Please keep chatting if you'd like, we're here to support you.

All the best, SB

[ABC01]

Dear Soberlicious96,

I can hear your frustration and thought I might offer a thought. As everyone else has said, these are YOUR sessions and you should be able to have control on them. However unless you voice this,the other person can’t know what you are thinking.
However you might like to try this. If I have thoughts,concerns or strong feelings I need to talk about currently, I write them down in a notebook when I feel them and take that with me to my session. I then tell my professional I have a few things I have written down that I would like to address today when we start our session and pull out my notebook. They see that notebook physically infront of them. That should prompt interest in the contents of your notebook.You can phrase them as questions and ask for a coping strategy to help with them. The more you offer forward,the more your professional will understand where your current headspace is. This also offers up an open line of communication between you two,if you haven’t felt comfortable to interject before. 
You could also tell them you strongly feel you are in a different place then where you began and feel it is time to move onto what your current frame of mind is. You can politely explain the reasons that you have here,as to why you are no longer in that position anymore and would like to move onto newer areas. They shouldn’t be offended by your honesty.
Alternatively you could also write a letter to yourself stating everything you feel and have written on your post, and then read it to your professional at your next session. This would also let them know where you currently are.

Just a side thought too. Alot of professionals don’t like to “step” on other diagnosing professionals and their current diagnoses of you. If you need or want another/additional diagnosis,you may have to revisit your diagnosing specialist/doctor.

Please look after yourself. I hope this may have helped.

ABC01