Nervous about counselling

[Coffeebean]

I thought I should post a newbie hello. It seems the polite thing to do, rather than lurking.

I am married, mother of two, working part time.

I've been taking an antidepressant for almost four weeks now, (first time) and need to see my gp again to arrange counselling (also first time). Side effects haven't been too bad, just restlessness and low appetite.

I've realised that I'm particularly bad at talking about myself. I am a really, really good listener, but when it comes to talking, nothing comes out. It's almost as if saying "I'm fine" has become automatic.

[Shred1106]

Hey Coffeebean

How you doing? Just dropping you a line to let you know we are still here!

All the support you need!

[MickeyM]

Hi Coffeebean

Sorry it's been a while since I posted. I like to pretend I'm OK...thinking positive, etc.

I tell friends/colleagues that I have anxiety, although only a couple of really close friends what it means for me and how it affects me.

Something I'm going to put in a separate post is that my anxiety peaks in the evening & night. Last night, I was relaxed, watched TV, getting ready for bed & my heart was racing. I knew I needed to do a meditation (hadn't for a while) and even then, doing the breathing excersises and heart taking off again!

Leads me to truly acknowledge that we're in for the long-haul, aren't we? We can try to 'get by' but at the end of the day, what we need is no more or less that anyone else-just a bit different. Some people need to tell friends, strangers, anyone absolutely everything, others use Facebook, others alcohol, I think everyone has some way(s) to process what's going on inside, but some are more efficient than others.

Ive realized that checking in on the forums also keeps me accountable. It helps.

Im glad you've spoken to someone else about what's going on. My head can be a scary place to be when I'm alone!

All the best

MickeyM

[Coffeebean]

Hey. I'm still around. I've had 3 psychologist visits, and starting CBT with her. I am so, so scared. Writing down how I really feel about myself is the most awful thing I can think of. If I had a choice I would cancel my next appointment.

Today I'm at home, with one of those rotten monthly headaches that refuses to budge.

You're right about it being the long haul, Mickey. Keep going, I tell myself. One foot in front of the other.

CB

[BballJ]

Hi Coffeebean,

CBT is great in the long run, I have done it and it helped heaps... I know it's scary but keep reminding yourself you are doing the right thing. Writing down anything about how we are feeling is tough but you do it on these forums so maybe gain some strength from that? It is a long journey but you are on it and you will get better with the help.

My best,

Jay

[Coffeebean]

Today I'm struggling. I'm at work, but I really want to be home, in bed, doona over my head. I keep looking at the space under my desk, thinking I want to curl up and hide there. It's taking all of my effort to not leave. Because I'm not sure where I would go if I did.

[MickeyM]

Hi Coffeebean

Sorry the hear you had a rough day. Is your work supportive?

Mickey

[Coffeebean]

Yes, they're supportive. They've accommodated a slight change to my hours, so I don't want to let them down.

I realize I was feeling a bit off because i was coming down with a cold. Good excuse for some lemon and honey and Netflix.

[BballJ]

Hi Coffeebean,

The main thing is you got to the reason of feeling down, quite interesting how you mind makes you think it's something else though huh.

Hopefully you feel better soon.

My best,

Jay

[Coffeebean]

So, I recently had a birthday. And now I am the same age my mother was when she died. (I was 21).

And for some strange reason, I have always felt my life would come to a standstill. I think it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. I haven't made any plans for the future. I just keep thinking "why bother". I can't see myself in the future. If i see my children do something well, I feel relieved that they will be ok without me.

I know this must sound morbid, and I'm wondering if anyone else has been through this. Because it's not something that's easy to talk about.

[Coffeebean]

My husband will be away for a week, and I'm scared. I hate that I am so dependent on him, but the truth is i am.

I don't want him to worry while he is away, so I'm trying my hardest not to show how I'm feeling. But I'm going to be alone tomorrow at home, and I'm scared.