Nervous about counselling

[Coffeebean]

I thought I should post a newbie hello. It seems the polite thing to do, rather than lurking.

I am married, mother of two, working part time.

I've been taking an antidepressant for almost four weeks now, (first time) and need to see my gp again to arrange counselling (also first time). Side effects haven't been too bad, just restlessness and low appetite.

I've realised that I'm particularly bad at talking about myself. I am a really, really good listener, but when it comes to talking, nothing comes out. It's almost as if saying "I'm fine" has become automatic.

[Coffeebean]

It has to get worse before it gets better, right? It's a scary thought. What can I do to prepare myself?

CB

[BballJ]

Hi Coffeebean,

I think it can get worse before it gets better, remember it's different for everyone, I started feeling better after my second visit to my psychologist, after the first one I wasn't sure if they could really help me and felt like they were just challenging me and I didn't like it but then I went back and saw what they were trying to do and I started to understand it. It takes time.. you have to keep reminding yourself of that. This is not a quick thing to turn around.. this takes a lot of patience and knowing you are doing the right thing seeking out this help. I do encourage you to try and speak to someone outside of the forums, a family member or friend, someone you really trust, confiding in someone other than a counsellor or the forums can really help... I was surprised when I told certain people how they reacted and how much they really did care for me.

Keep your head up, it will get better.

My best,

Jay

[Coffeebean]

I went back to my GP and explained my side effects. I tried to be as confident and clear as I could, but still forgot a few things. I get very nervous the moment I have to talk about myself. I'll have to start writing stuff down.

I think I also wanted to show him I was going ok. Of course he saw right through it, especially when I told him I had the last week off work, and I've now cut my hours.

He agreed changing meds was a good idea. He also brought up the suggestion again of seeing a psychiatrist (we discussed it before). I'm not keen, so we agreed to see how I go with new meds and counselling first.

I'm swinging between feeling hopeful and utterly hopeless. But I am willing to be patient.

Jay, I took your advice about talking with someone. Yes it helps.

Quiet night in, no after-school activities tonight, and reheated leftovers for dinner. I'm trying to make things easy for myself while I switch meds.

CB

[BballJ]

Hi Coffeebean,

Keep in mind that by hiding how you are truly feeling doesn't help you at all, so by trying to show you are ok and that you are improving isn't helping... there is no shame is no progress, it just means you need a little more attention and a little more detail on how to keep on trying to get better. Write down exactly everything you want to talk about leading up to your appointment and take it as a check list into your appointment.

I like the fact you are taking it easy and adjusting to your meds as well, whatever helps to make the transition either is key. You are doing well.

My best,

Jay

[Coffeebean]

So here I am, almost 1am, wide awake. And I couldn't figure out why. I'm only on half dose of my new med, I'm off the old one without too much drama.

Then I realised...I have been so careful with coffee for the past 2 months (2 per day, nothing after 2pm). And tonight I had a coffee at 7pm!

Doh

[BballJ]

Hi Coffeebean,

It's great that you worked out why you were awake... Coffee doesn't have that affect one me where it keeps me awake, sometimes wish I did so then I could be a little more alert in the morning hehe.

How have you been?

My best,

Jay

[Shred1106]

Hey Coffeebean

Don't be hard on yourself while going through what works for you...It will take some interchanging of meds at times to find the one that works for you.Also, can I suggest that you just keep in mind Psychiatrists specialise in these meds and often have new knowledge about combinations or other drugs that have come out. Remember we are all here for you..

Let us know how you are doing if and when you feel confident to do so...

Sending good vibes

Shred

[Coffeebean]

The change in medication has knocked me around a bit. A few headaches, dizziness, low mood. And I bit the inside of my cheek as I was falling asleep last night. I guess I've got a bit of withdrawals and also side effects from the new one. I'm at work just staring at my screen, getting nothing done.

I'm worried that everyone around me is getting sick of me. I feel like I need to show them that I'm trying to get better, but it's just so tiring.

2nd psychologist visit tomorrow.

[Coffeebean]

Thanks for checking in Jay and Shred. I appreciate it.

CB

[BballJ]

Hi Coffeebean,

That sounds quite common with the change in medication, your body has to adjust to it.

The feelings that you think people are getting sick of you I find is a very common mental health thought, we constantly overthink things and make them out to be worse than what they are, I am sure people just want you to get better but understand it takes time.

Let us know how the second appointment goes.

My best,

Jay