Need help coping between Psychiatrist sessions

[Guest_4643]

Hi everyone, my name's Tayla and I'm 20. Relatively new to these forums. I would really appreciate if someone can please help me and give me some suggestions/advice.

I have a Psychiatrist that I'm very thankful for, he's wonderful and everything I want in a therapist. He helps me and it makes me feel a bit better and sometimes a little happier and reassured while I see him. I do this through Telehealth because I'm in Regional Victoria and he's a 6 hour drive away in Sydney, so I've never met him face to face although it's pretty much the same thing. I would like to try and meet him in person some day though, but we'll see.

However, sometimes it can be a while in between sessions because I understand his busy schedule, he also has other commitments other than his Psychiatry work. But in saying that he does his job well and does what he says. So I find it really hard to cope until I see him again.

I see my GP also but I don't find her that helpful, personally. She's nice yes but not like my Psychiatrist.

I do come on websites like this, Lifeline, etc. to do web chats, and that's why I joined these forums.

I walk daily. I colour in and play a free colour by numbers app on my iPad called Happy Colour. Sometimes I'll read or write, or watch TV or movies, depending on if I'm in the mood. Other than that I don't have much to do.

Yes I have supportive parents and it's just them, my dog and I, I have no siblings, friends or other family members. I've tried so hard to join groups, get jobs, study, anything, and I'm always discriminated against (I don't know why), even by the local triage and local Headspace Centre. So I'm out of options and quite hurt. So basically I can't get any of those.

Please help and please reply. I really wish I could contact my Psychiatrist in between sessions but I'm not sure if that's allowed and how I can.

Thanks,

Tayla.

[Hanna3]

Hi Matchy and Hi Tayla,

Gee you both sound like such nice people it's a shame you're so lonely Tayla, and Matchy I can so relate to panicking in heavy traffic, I get anxious in the big country town I'm in now, in the city I go to pieces I'm so scared. I do know of someone who moved to a small town because she had developed such a fear of the heavy traffic in Sydney that she could no longer live there, so we're not alone!

Tayla you're finding it hard in between sessions with your Psych and I can really understand that, so many people on BB find it difficult. Hang on the time does do past! I think it sounds as if the town you're in just doesn't suit you - lack of MH facilities and the people excluding you, it sounds like an older age group and a town with more people around your age would be a great help. As you can't move is there anywhere there at all where some younger people seem to meet up that you could possibly go to? I know it's hard.

If not, do what I'm doing about where I am living now (which doesn't suit me in a lot of ways). I tell myself I'm here for the time being, but it's not a life sentence, either I will settle down and get used to it (I'm giving myself the autumn/winter as I don't like the heat) or I will find some way of moving away. I don't know how yet but something may turn out in the future. So can you think like that a bit? That maybe it's rotten there now, but maybe in the future you will be able to move, or some new people will move into the town that are friendly with you, or you will come across someone unexpectedly who will turn out to be a friend?

I met one friend here just walking Sam in the park and we got chatting. Now we meet up in a café from time to time. It isn't a close friendship but at least it's someone to meet up with sometimes.

Matchy you sound too nice to be lonely and not have or be able to keep friends!

Loneliness is such a problem here on BB, where I live none of the neighbours ever talks to each other, I haven't seen any of them for months. It's a real shame that our society has become like this.

Meanwhile BB does provide some "company" and support. It's always nice when I lot on and find people I "know" to talk to. Take care both of you. Hugs all around!

[Guest_4643]

hey Mark. thank you for your nice words and replying once again. means a lot.

you're lovely yourself and I think you communicate great. but I know how you feel, believe it or not it's so hard for me to talk to people even on here. I'm the same in person, might go for a walk and I'm too shy to say hi to anyone regardless of their age. I just look down and pretend like I'm invisible. it sounds so simple to say a quick hello and strike up conversation with anyone wherever I may be but it isn't. this is because of being judged, laughed at, treated like crap, and all of that. trust issues I suppose you could call them? but everyone on these forums seem trustworthy, so thank you.

I'm so sorry about you being so anxious to drive and your other struggles, but wow that's amazing that you never gave up, good on you. I'm glad you're driving and have a safe driving record. I'd try to be a safe driver myself. I'm just so scared, some people may think it looks easy but it doesn't to me. I don't concentrate well although I try to put all of my concentration into something. even stuff like making food or a coffee I can forget and how simple is that? so I'm so scared to drive. would be nice to have freedom though I suppose. I tell myself I have to push myself to learn especially in a country town because it may be easier but I just can't bring myself to do it. I tell myself all the time that I need to do it. and I put myself down constantly because I could've been driving since I was 16 and had my Ps and all of that.

and yes I totally agree with you about the Doctors and other professionals. my GP seemed alright at first and I thought she's the one to stick with, but now she's just not caring at all. she seems like she's just fake and wants money. I don't mean to be rude and backstab her but it's so hard. what do you suggest I do, maybe complain? I told her how I'm feeling and how her not caring doesn't help me. she didn't care. all of that hurts. she says I need to "fake it more". what does that even mean? does she not know how much I fake stuff every day and I can only do it so much? ugh.

I hope you find a great supportive Doctor and any other professionals if you need them. thanks for replying again.

Tayla x

[Guest_4643]

hey Hanna, thanks for replying.

I'm so sorry to hear of not only yours and Mark's struggles on the forums, but every one who is a member even if I haven't read their posts yet (I look at them but there's so many and I'd like to try and think of the right things to say).

you're right about what you said about the town, and yeah I tell myself that all the time about staying here for now. I can't live on my own, I couldn't handle it. I'm so dependant and I hate it, I've tried to be independent but it's so hard for me. I wish I wasn't like this. but I'll try to tell myself that more. as for the young people, no there's not. there is one place but that's just for people who are homeless, struggling with no family as in parents, etc. that type of stuff. I feel so sorry for all of those people but I'm not in that situation luckily. plus they run at bad times in those groups, and it's a 30 minute drive. so no other than that there's nothing around. I tried asking a hospital 20 mins away if I can volunteer there because they were looking a while ago but I can't find any way of contacting them which is odd? no phone number, no email, nothing? how confusing?

thats great that you met a friend walking Sam, he looks so adorable. and how lovely that you meet at cafes, that can even be nice. I wish I had that with somebody. even if I walk down the cafe myself everyone in there is rude and the prices are always changing, and so slow. for example you can order a coffee and a cake and they'll forget to give you something or do it wrong. but I understand being under pressure.

I also wanted to ask you and Mark, I hope you don't mind. I read my Psychiatrist's report for me and referral to the local biggest hospital (30 mins away), and it made me cry and depressed. There wasn't anything bad in it, but he said in the referral about "hoping they can offer me Psychosocial help", what does that mean? Does that mean he's trying to help me himself and get other people to help or that he doesn't want to see me anymore? I feel like he doesn't want to see me because he's too busy and I'm a burden. He's never said that he doesn't want me as a patient. I'm so heartbroken and confused and it doesn't even sound like anything wrong. I hope he still wants to see me. Should I ask when I see him again on Skype on Feb 14? Why do I always think the worst? I'm so sorry.

Tayla x

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla,psychosocial help is i think is trying to get you some extra help for you that is closer to you and get you more socially independent.I think he still wants to support you and be your psychiaytrist.I think next time you chat with ask him if he still wants to help you do you can reasure your self and know what his plan is.

I understand how hard it is to move out of home.I was 26 when i moved out and it was one of the hardest things i ever did and struggled at first.I still had my mum doing things for me.The reason i moved out was i inherited an estate and bit the bullet and bought my own place in a small country town about an hour away from where i was living.

Take care,

Mark.

[Guest_4643]

hey Mark.

I looked up Psychosocial stuff but I don't understand what it means, the wording. I'm starting to think all of this is going to turn out really bad and I feel like I'll be admitted. I really hope not. maybe it could help but I don't want that at all. the triage he referred me to hasn't contacted me yet. maybe they'll send me a letter but don't those places call?

I'm sorry you struggled yourself, but good on you for making the move and getting used to it. sometimes it would be nice living alone but it'd struggle more than I am now.

take care yourself,

Tayla

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla,yes it does sound a bit confusing for you.I dont know that really means hospitalisation for you.I usally get letters from the hospital so they might not necessary ring you.I have been hospitalised a few times myself with the longest stay being 6 weeks.

It isnt easy moving out of home and doing things but it can be done and am sure you will get there.You have a great psychiatrist that you trust.

Take care,

Mark.

[Guest_4643]

Hey Mark, thanks for replying again. I replied to the other stuff on the Cafe post.

It is confusing yes, considering I'm only 20 (I'll be 21 this year in November). I've never been to a triage or hospital for my mental health. I'm so sorry that you have been though.

Yeah no one's called me yet and it's a 24/7 number. Maybe tomorrow since it's technically a Public Holiday today, otherwise maybe I can try and call them. I hate talking on the phone, I get all choked up just like I do in person and it's hard. It sounds so simple I know. I hope everyone else is nice since the guy I spoke to before the referral was made was so rude and unhelpful and that put me off.

Do you know if I'll still be able to have my Psychiatrist, but see the social worker or something like that at the triage? Can I request this from him and the triage? Do you think he means he doesn't want to work with me and not know me anymore? He's never said this though and without being mean, I'm sure he may have patients with worse mental health than me (who I feel so sorry for), I don't mean that in a rude way there's just no easy way to say it really.

I'm so sorry for so many questions and I hope I'm not triggering you or anything. It's all new to me. I'll ask my GP and Psychiatrist when I see them again and the triage if I go. Do I have to go, is it compulsory or my decision?

I hope you're alright and I hope your daughter is alright too. Thank you for your help and replies, means a lot. I'm just so stupid I don't understand anything and I apologise, sigh.

Tayla

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla,you are not stupid and you are very smart asking inteligent questions which is great.I have been seeing a phychiaritis since i was about 7 y.o on and off.I have been in hospital several times as an adult.I found it an ok experince with the staff usally very nice and the other patients were had a mixture of mental problems and we seemed to bond and support each other which was good.When i was in you had a nurse for you who had 3 or 4 patients she attended but you really didnt see much of them.You would have a hospital pychiatris that was asighned to you.

I am not sure about triage and what that really entails.I have done group sessions with about another 4 or 5 guys and it was run by a trannie pychologist who was really nice and the other people in my group were really nice and supportive.I think you would really benefit from something like that.I know how hard it would be for you but if they want to something like that you should try it.

I believe it would be volunterial for you but it does sound like a good option for you.You do keep all your support outside of the hospital but when in the hospital you will see the hospital pychiatris most likely.

I really do know how you are feeling and i know that it will be ok.I to hate ringing people on the phone but sometimes it cant be avoided and it will help knowing whats going on.I hate not knowing which sets of my anxiety.

Please take care and i will talk to you later,

Mark.

[Guest_4643]

hey Mark, thanks for commenting back again and letting me know about all of that.

I'm so sorry to hear that you've been in hospital so many times and since aged 7, wow. I knew my mental health was getting worse at 12, it was like my world was upside down, it's a long story. but it sounds like people were supportive to you in those places, and I'm glad, that's how it should be.

i'll try to contact them myself, I can't find an email for the most only the hospital directly but they never reply honestly, and I'll ask some questions such as seeing my own Psychiatrist I have rather than a new one, and I'll ask my GP and Psychiatrist all of this too, I'll write stuff down if need be although it will depress me but it could be beneficial.

yeah you could be right, it could be worth giving it a go. I asked Hanna on another post we were commenting on as you may or may not have seen, asking if it might be like that scene in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, where they're all sitting around with the Nurse and they pick someone to chat and they discuss their struggles, and one guy starts talking about his wife, and then the basketball TV scene is on after that. maybe not that full on because it's just a movie, but it's a good one, sad but funny. have you seen it?

I'm also worried that it will be like the local Headspace Centre, that was for a group. I don't know what the group was for, I got nothing out of it. it was good for about 2 sessions, I was positive, thought I'd made some friends, etc. we did the same stuff like artwork everyday and childish things which was stupid. some of it was fun but unnecessary, I like art at times and expressing myself and seeing others work but wow. anyway the manager and group members made fun of my mental illnesses and turned against me which was and still is so traumatic and I'm fearful of other places. I complained and the manager lost her job, of course I've never bee nice back there or communicated, and I never will. my parents and psychiatrist and I are disgusted in this and how other so called professionals have treated me, that's why it's nice to have him. and I hope I can still see him. EHeadspace has been like that to me aswell.

sorry for rambling, I know you have your own things to deal with like everyone here does, I'm so sorry. thanks for listening and supporting and whatnot though, I appreciate it. means a lot.

hugs, take care yourself. I hope you and your daughter are going to be OK, you're both in my thoughts.

Tayla

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla i am just seeing how you are today and heard back from the triage.

Thanks for caring it means a lot to me as feel so alone sometimes even when i have my kids.It just nice to be able to talk about stuff going on in my head and that.

The last time i was in hospital everyone use to come to me with their problems and use tell me everything that was going on and ask my advice.Everyone said i was nice and easy to talk to and good listener.I never understand why i dont have any friends or keep them.

I did have a strange inocdent in hospital a cross dresser stole all my clothes and other peoples as well apparently that was what they were in there for but it was all good.

The first time i was in hospital i was 7 y.o and it was christmas.I was allowed to go home christmas day for the day.I spent 4 weeks in hospital.I liked being in hospital as i had friends to play with and i didnt at school as everyone use to tease me.

I hope you are not to stressed today.

Take care,

Mark.