Yesterday I told my psychologist that I was better.. After just one session.. Truth is I'm not.. I'm not sure what made me say it.. I don't know how to take it back.. She wants to see me again to work on my shyness rather than my depression/anxiety.. I really just want to deal with the depression but I'm not sure how to tell her that...as clearly I can't be honest about it even though I feel I can trust her. Has anyone else been down this path or can anyone tell me why I felt the need to lie to the one person that may be able to help me. Thanks.
Never be afraid of the truth. When you return you can tell the full truth. Like this "my last visit I told you I felt better. I dont know why I told you that because I dont. I really do need help for my depression."
She will take into account your untruthful statement as part of her study on you and can help you much more....when you tell her the truth.
If you tell the truth to someone and if works in your negative eg harms you...then break off the relationship because everyone should respect the truth.
The untruth you told to your psychologist is definitely fixable. This lie you told is a form of self-sabotage. You are trying to refuse help. Mental illness is complex, and this is not uncommon. Your psychologist probably realises you were avoiding treatment when you said you were better. Psychologists are trained to understand how the mind works, so it is very likely that she is aware of what's going on. However, telling her at the start of next session that you still need treatment for depression and anxiety is a good idea.
I took ages to admit to my GP that I had body image issues and thoughts consistent with disordered eating. When I finally admitted it, I felt better afterwards. Doctors and psychologists are some of the least judgemental people out there. It's great that you feel you can trust her - keep seeing her. It is so worth getting treatment for anxiety and depression. This way, you'll have a good chance of full recovery; and be able to live your life free from the burdens of mental illness 🙂
There are certain professions where lying goes with the turf, not because people are bad, but because they are confused, scared, uncertain. A whole heap of reasons.
Believe me, us, when I say you psychologist will understand and be okay with it. Truth is, as SM mentioned, she probably knew, anyway.
Thanks Tony, John and SM for your replies.. You make such a complicated thing in my head seem like a simple task.. Guess I'm going to have to find the courage to speak the truth. If only there was a mind reading machine in the world somewhere, for people that don't know how to put thoughts into words and speak them openly. 🙂
you sound like you seem more comfortable here then with the psychologist. Could that be because behind a screen you are anonymous?
Beyond blue have chat boxes, where you can speak openly to staff. Which is really great because it leaves you with an escape avenue of shutting your browser if you need. Also beyond blue staff are less intrusive with their questions. then there's always these forums, good luck!
Jode's said: Has anyone else been down this path or can anyone tell me why I felt the need to lie to the one person that may be able to help me. Thanks.
I've been in a somewhat similar situation, but unfortunately I wasn't able to determine what the therapist needed to hear in order to believe I was cured, so I wasn't able to actually tell him the right thing for a long time. I was fortunate enough to have him clue me in on what he thought defined a good life and I was able to agree that my life met that condition. Telling him that was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do, as what he wanted me to say flew in the face of my deepest values. Even within the secure, private confines of therapy it made me feel dirty; like renouncing what I stood for and believed in was somehow tempting fate to deny me the genuinely fulfilling life I've always sought. But the lie got me out of therapy, which was something I really needed. I've never looked back. 🙂
You say that you want treatment for depression, but your therapist wants to treat you for shyness? Perhaps you are lying to her so that you can get your therapy back on track? The sooner she's satisfied that your shyness is gone, the sooner you can get her to help you with your problem. Might that be what's happening?
I know this is a strange comparison but I was a marijuana addict for a long time before I got the support I needed to become sober and during that time I lied to my psychologist multiple times about being able to control my usage before I was ready to admit that it was out of control. I wasn't protecting the substance, rather myself because I wasn't as in control as I would have liked and pretending that I was made me feel like I was making progress, getting better even without needing my psychologist. Plus the sessions did really put a spring in my step when I felt I was doing good.
I don't know if you can relate to this but if you can I urge you to be honest. Even just writing it to your psychologist in an email or a letter that you give them at your session. You don't need to be shy about telling the truth and nobody is judging you. It wasn't a malicious lie but wishful thinking. You'll be at that point one day but only if you're honest.
