Help for professionals

[Angel1979]

I can say this because it's anonymous, and I cannot talk to anyone else. I am a mental health professional (Social Worker) and I am struggling with depression myself. Too scared to seek assistance, in case a colleague feels it's their "duty" to report this, it can be so incredibly isolating. I am in Sydney, so am caught up in this lock down. No church, no visiting family/friends. This whole thing terrifies me. Of course I cannot share this with anyone at work, as I do not want to be perceived as being "weak" or as a professional who isn't coping. I am also a fairly private person in the workplace and I do not like to discuss personal issues in the workplace.

I have been so up-and-down since my father passed away suddenly in May 2018. I have never really recovered and don't think I ever will. I'm glad for his sake that he's not here to endure this COVID crisis and subsequent lock downs; however, I am devastated for myself. My Father and I were very close and we spoke every single day. He passed suddenly from a heart attack just one month after his 70th birthday, and I thought I was going to die from the resulting grief. I have a Husband who is emotionally unavailable. Although we reside in the same house, we just don't connect and haven't done so for many years. It is a lonely life, and not one I ever imagined myself living. Usually I handle it okay because I have work, church, friends, etc. I am all right so long as I keep busy. At the moment though, it is difficult.

I am tempted to seek support, but at the same time, I am worried about being "found out" - as a professional requiring assistance. Although people say that there should be no stigma surrounding seeking support, the reality is that is simply not the case in the professional world. Other "professionals" can and do judge. I have heard a Doctor say the most degrading thing to a patient who had previously sought support for a mental health condition.

Constantly taking on other people's issues can be a lot to take and it does knock you about from time to time. Anyway, that is pretty much all I wanted to say.

[Petal22]

Hi Angel1979,

Sorry you are feeling this way…… it must be very difficult to feel this way and feel you can’t ask for help that must feel very isolating in itself……

Do you have a trusted gp?

So sorry for your loss, it must be so difficult to loose your father…….. it sounds like you were both incredibly close…..

Im sorry your husband is emotionally unavailable that must be difficult aswell…….

Im here to chat to you….. I can offer friendly support to you……. People on these forums are all lovely people and I’m sure they would like to support you too 😊

[PamelaR]

Hi Angel1979 and warm welcome to our forums

These are very difficult times at the moment. Something we've never really lived through before (though those early last century would have).

Sorry to hear about the loss of your father. It must be so difficult because you were so close and especially when your husband is emotionally unavailable.

I think you are being very hard on yourself. Just because you are a social worker doesn't mean you can't feel, can't be affected by what's been happening around us for the past couple of years in fact - with bush fires, floods, now COVID which just goes on and on. The restrictions are testing everyones resilience, endurance. Be kind to yourself and reach out. My studies at uni were in the behavioural sciences and I worked in the health field for quite some time. I believed professional health assistance was available for health professionals. While you may not want to confide in anyone you directly work with, they should have at an Employee Assistance Scheme that you can access.

Alternatively, as you will already know you could phone, or chat online to many of the support services out there. But as Petal22 above suggested - try your gp and get a referral to a private counsellor. And of course - please feel free to continue here for support.

Kind regards

PamelaR.

[geoff]

Hello Angel, please can I join Petal and Pamela in offering my sincere condolences for the loss of your father.

Being qualified in this field certainly doesn't mean that you are ambivalent in taking on the role of a social worker and siding with another person's situation, you are only human and besides, what you have been told by someone suffering, there is a great chance that you look at their position in a way that's maybe related to your own circumstances, so the possibility of becoming depressed yourself is quite high, although I'm not a doctor to say this, but this feeling can spread through all professions and is understandable.

In other words, someone you're talking to may have problems coping because they could have lost a parent as well, so how can you help them when you don't know how to help yourself and this could very well be the start of your downfall, even though you had thought you may be able to help them, but too many correlations appear.

Not everyone, which includes professionals are immune to some type of depression, it doesn't exclude a single soul and can affect you or anyone else.

My psychologist, I had been visiting for about 20 years, suffered herself and I know for two reasons, she lived next door to someone I visited every week and secondly, I asked her during a session if she has ever had depression and she said yes, and we only talked about it for a few minutes.

No one is guaranteed not to have any possibility of having a mental illness, although some may hide it, but it's in their own interest to seek help, it doesn't make you a weaker person at all, it just means you are human and would really love to hear back from you.

Remember there is no shame at all, and once you receive the help you deserve the stronger you will become.

Geoff.

[quirkywords]

Angel

Thanks for starting this thread. You are not alone. I know of several people in mental health field who have their own issues. In fact I find people who have a personal understanding are equipped to help others.

I am also aware professionally it is difficult and sometimes people need to seek help away from where they work. It is sad that there are people in the profession suffering but unaware they are not alone. At some place there is support and debriefing for issues that occur at work.
The trouble is that many people whether mealth professionals or not may worry others will find out about their mental health issues so do not seek help. Then if their health deteriorates everyone will find out.
It is sad that we encourage people to seek help yet we see mental health professionals as being super human.

petal, Pamela, and Geoff have given you helpful suggestions.

There are help lines you can call anonymously and you could see someone in a different location from where you work.

As I said before you possibly wouldn’t be alone where you work and there would be others feeling alone too.

You still grieving for your father and that will affect your health. Maybe you could access grief counselling .

We are here if you wish to post again. We are listening.

[Aunt Jobiska]

Hi Angel,

Firstly, I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry that you're going through this alone. I get the professional difficulties - I'm a medical student, and jump through hoops to ensure nobody in the course knows about my psychiatric illness. And my psychiatrist is very aware of the stigma and discrimination within the medical profession, and I don't expect other mental health fields are necessarily a lot better. If you can possibly find a fantastic GP and a referral to a psychologist, I'd encourage you to do that - there are fabulous people out there in GP land, although I know it can be hard work finding one, especially in lockdown. It's just taken me a year to find a good GP after my last fabulous one retired, so I do know it can feel like an insurmountable mountain.

Finally, don't feel bad about being a mental health professional with mental health difficulties! Best social worker I know - mental health social worker - still struggles with depression herself. First hand experience should only add to the legitimacy of a professional - in psych as in physical illnesses. Read 'An Unquiet Mind'? One thing I loved about her book was the complete absence of stigma, and an acknowledgment of its existence within the mental health professions.

Sending You Encouragement. How I've helped.