Got a question related to mental health? ASK DR KIM

Chris_B · ‎23-08-2016

Hi everyone,

This is a thread for asking questions of our resident GP and counsellor, Dr Kim, who pops into the forums regularly.

PLEASE NOTE as per our community rules, Dr Kim won't be able to answer questions about medications, these are best discussed offline directly with your mental health professional.

UPDATE - 01/03/2018
BEFORE YOU ASK DR.KIM PLEASE CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING POINTS:

Dr Kim's time is limited! We cannot provide an ongoing dialogue with Dr Kim in this thread - one post/question per person please
We'd recommend you have a look through the forums before posting here to see if your question has already been answered by Dr Kim, our other members, or if there's information about it already on the beyondblue website. If a question pops up that has already been answered previously, or if alternate resources are available, one of our moderators will reply and direct you to the link.
When writing your question, imagine you are speaking to someone in person i.e. provide a clear and detailed post with enough information that outlines how Dr.Kim can help you.

Background

After 20 years of experience working as a GP, Dr Kim realised in 2003 the aspect of her work she enjoyed most was talking to people and understanding the way they think and behave – and so she underwent training in counselling and therapy, where she now solely works.

Her experience includes working with a wide range of mental health issues including anxiety, depression and adolescent mental health.

“Given my training I also see couples, siblings, parents with their children and entire family groups,” she says. “In this work I hope to give families the skills to understand one another and have the strategies to communicate and manage relationships that are distressing them. I believe strongly that best therapy is achieved when there is trust in the therapist's ability but also their genuine desire to understand and help.”

Dr_Kim · ‎26-09-2016

Moonstruck said:
Dear Dr Kim

My daughter in law has just begun anti depressants again after being off them for a couple of years.

Hi Moonstruck,

The issue with the current state of prescribing medication for depression is its not as simple as doing extensive probing or tests in order to work out which one is better.

There is some research going on about using blood tests to sort out different groups of medications and metabolism rates of the individual but the clinical uses of this work are still not clear and they are not widely used as yet (and they cost a bit!). There may very well be a day in the not so distant future where we go to the doctor, have blood test and get a print out of the medications in the order that they will be most likely to work for us. I look forward to that day!!

As things stand, we are still pretty much stuck in the trial and error era of prescribing and they can take up to 4-6 weeks to see if they work . So the best thing we can offer patients is our support while the medications are on trial. This can be things like regular appointments just so we can go through how they are going and what side effects they may have, so we can reassure them what is worth worrying out and what is likely to pass.

The support of family is also very important at this time , so your positivity, nurturing , help and caring will be invaluable to her I’m sure.

Requan · ‎26-09-2016

Hi Dr. Kim

I'm 35, Male and work full time. Born and raised in NZ and moved here in 2006. I have recently become more aware that I need professional help with my mental health. I'm having a tough time opening up and finding out who will listen and be there for me. I'm in a relationship with an amazing girl but my issues are starting to take it's toll on our future together. I really want to seek professional help but I am shy, scared, nervous and embarrassed to make a call or go to a doctor. Like I've been viewed and praised by most people I come in contact with as a happy and friendly guy due to my rugby achievements both here in Australia and NZ... So for some reason my mentality is I find it hard to ask for help because I've always been able to do it on my own or don't want to ask for help to prove I'm not soft. What I also think about is how much professional help will cost me? I am not living comfortably and I am worried about the financial side of things. It may not even be an issue.

Over all are you able to give me advice on what I should do please? I do want to better myself as it's been eating away at me for years now but again - has become more prominent lately.

What procedure should I take? Thank you

Kind regards,

Requan

Dr_Kim · ‎28-09-2016

Hi Requan,

Firstly , let me congratulate you on writing this post. Its a great first step to being your best self. So many of us are plagued by unhelpful thoughts or feelings that hold us back from saying the things we want to say , doing the things we want to do or living the way we know we can. Some of these unhelpful thoughts may even have started ways back in our childhoods. They can be placed there “by mistake” sometimes by family members, teachers or friends. Some parts of us believed these things and now they seem to just be “true”. We might need help to open up the filing cabinets in our brains and sort through what is ok for us to hold on to and what to let go.

It sounds easy , but its so hard as we get into habits of thinking and habits are hard to break . Thats why speaking to somebody trained in the area will make it easier for you to open up those filing cabinets , hang on to the bits you like and change or let go of the bits that are bothering you. You don’t need to have diagnosed mental illness to do this process. You don’t need to think that it makes you weak to do this . I would argue that it only someone really strong would take up the challenge to take a good hard look at them selves and sort things out . Have a look at this Ted talk from Brene Brown . It might feel inspiring to help you to face your vulnerable side and take on getting help.

https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en

It sounds like you are a great guy and want to be your best self for both you and your girlfriend. The best gift you can give her is to be your best self - go and find it!! Here are some ideas from the BB website . Basically it starts with a GP ( you can find via this website if you don’t have one ) and get a referral to a counsellor. Your GP will explain payments but basically you can get a rebate from Medicare or private health insurance extras ( if you have that) to help cover the costs of therapy.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/find-a-professional

Sophie_M · ‎29-09-2016

Dr Kim is currently on leave, so this thread is temporarily locked. She will be back and available to answer your quesstions in the week of October 24.

Sophie_M · ‎25-10-2016

Dr Kim is now back from leave and this thread is again open for you to leave questions below.

Elle99 · ‎25-10-2016

I am diagnosed with anxiety and depression but am trying to fix it without medication. Most days I'm pretty good but everyone now and again I'll just snap (and mostly my boyfriend has to deal with it).

We've been together for two and a bit years and we plan on spending life together, but lately my anger has been getting worst and the tiniest thing will trigger me. My boyfriend is very patient with me but I feel horrible that he has to deal with it all. I'm turning into a horrible person and I can't imagine he sticking around for me much longer with the way I am.

What I would like to know is why am I getting angry over such little things and why do I use my boyfriend as the punching bag? And why does the tiniest thing he do upset me so much? He's very caring and I love him. I always feel stupid after I have a chance to calm down but the damage is done by then and it can go on for hours.

Dr_Kim · ‎27-10-2016

Hi Elle99, it is great that you acknowledge that it is your being irritable that is the issue not him. That is a very mature and responsible position.

It is really common for those with many mental health issues to suffer from irritability and short temper . I don't know exactly why but I hazard a guess at it being something to do with our amygdala or the "fright or flight" part of our brains being activated when we are anxious or upset . This part of our brain isn't known for its great reasoning powers but more for its "knock em down" ability !

So maybe that's why people get a bit aggro when they are anxious/ upset . Either way, you are right to understand that it is unpleasant for both you AND your boyfriend.

I presume that you are attending therapy as you said that you are trying to deal with it without medication.
If not , it is really important that you do find a therapist to help you identify and mange the way to manage the irritable thoughts that are coming from this most unhelpful part of your brain.

I also think that other aspects of therapy are important here - regular exercise, healthy diet and sleep patterns, minimising alcohol, and also developing a regular Mindfulness practice (Try Headspace or Smiling Mind). If after 4-6 weeks of trying all these things, you are still irritable and snappy to the point that it destroying your own self esteem and damaging your relationship , it may be time to revisit the idea of medication.

Sunnyflower · ‎27-10-2016

I am 16 and doing my HSC soon. I find it really hard to be motivated, I have anxiety and struggle in social situations and everyday activities which makes me feel extremely lonely, and helpless and I go through times when I really hate myself and cant seem to do anything. I have no close connections with people from my school and my friends outside of school are graduated and leaving me. I'm tired all the time and seem to put on this persona of a very positive, optimistic person when I'm with others. Honestly I just don't know what to do with myself, I feel stuck. I've seen a therapist for anxiety but it didnt seem to help, I was anxious to even go to therapy. Am I depressed? What practical tips can help me to motivate myself and become the joyful person people see me as?

Curly_Sue · ‎27-10-2016

I am the mum of a 17 yo daughter in the midst of her HSC. I have come across some dark and disturbing diary entries when cleaning her room. My husband and I are beside ourselves we thought she was coping and she seems totally normal except tired. She has anxiety and depression and takes medication for this(18mths). I have asked her about how she is feeling she says fine, Clearly not really. What should I do next ? I do not want to tell her I read her diary. She needs help asap. I have a gp appointment Monday. Her last exam is next Thursday . Please advise me on what to do. Thx

MsPurple · ‎27-10-2016

Hi Dr Kim. I have a friend I am worried about. I don't know whether she has an eating disorder or not. She has told me in confidence that she has been chewing and spitting out food for a few months. She still eats regularly throughout the day, but some nights she binges on food. Food like lollies, cakes, biscuits etc. Junk food basically. She doesn't swallow it but spits it all out and gets rid of all evidence. She told me once on a really bad night she chewed and spat out around 3kg worth (I can't remember alls he ate but it was like 3 packets of lollies, 2 packets of biscuits, crips, it was a lot). She said she did it over 2 hours. She says she doesn't do it every day but up to 3 times a week. I am really worried about her. I am not only worried about her mental health and wellbeing but also about her physical health. I have tried to educate myself on eating disorders such as this but all I can find is information on bulimia. I don't really know all the physical damage this could be doing to her long and short term (apart from dental). What would be the physical implications? I think she came to me as I am a recovered EDNOS suffer and she needed to talk to someone. Is there anything I could say that would help her? I just want her to get better as I know how much having an ED sucks and takes over your life. Thanks Dr kim