Feeling Disillusioned With Therapy

[Maefire]

Hey everyone, I’m really in need of some advice and support. I’ve been attending counseling and therapy for years at this point but the last year I’ve had so many bad experiences that I feel on the verge of giving up on professional help. I’ve had about 7 counselors or psychologists in the last year since the only program I have access to isn’t very consistent. I have been invalidated by some and am really struggling to cope. The others were great but I lost one due to him only being a student and another in a very traumatic event - an abusive exfriend if mine created a conflict of interest and while I was balling my eyes out at the therapist about my ptsd I was suddenly dropped because of this other persons actions. My current therapist is nice but I feel worse after each session. She doesn’t really understand my trauma or what I’m going through and it’s really wearing down on me. I feel so isolated right now and everything in my life is falling apart. I have only continued to go to therapy for other people - I know my boyfriend (who is my only real support through this atm) would be worried if I stopped going and I don’t want to hurt my therapists feelings. I want a long term therapist but I don’t know if that’s affordable. I want a therapist that doesn’t try and change how I feel about my trauma but rather supports me and offers advice and help like my former therapist did - I miss him a lot and I still get emotional over the therapists I’ve had to stop going to. I just feel so hopeless and after years of therapy and having multiple bad experiences I’ve never felt this miserable about therapy before. I’m sorry for rambling but I’m really stuck and I was wondering if there were types of therapists that are more long term or who you can contact outside of sessions for when things are really hard. Are there valid alternatives to therapy to deal with ptsd or grief? I’m at my breaking point and I feel so trapped and weak and I’m trying to help myself but I’m really lost and I honestly don’t know if there’s any other options for me. I would really appreciate any advice or anyone else who has gone through this - therapy is deeply hurt me in so many ways and I feel alone in this and pressured to keep going. Also I’m an indep adult with no family support I rely on myself my boyfriend and a few friends so please don’t suggest I consult my family they’re the biggest problem in my life sadly. Thanks

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Maefire,

I feel your frustration & disheartenment. You’ve clearly had some very disappointing and distressing experiences with your counsellors & psychologists...

I think it would be so draining as well to have to constantly “trial” mental health professionals. But still not quite finding one who is both an appropriate fit for you and who can also offer long-term counselling. I feel that’s very stressful & upsetting.

Sadly, when it comes to finding a good clinician, it often means having to trial some who are not the best “match” (or who don’t quite understand your needs and feelings) before finding a suitable one. I think it’s often an unavoidable process...one that can be very exhausting.

My gentle suggestion is maybe it would help if you tried to narrow your search to counsellors & psychologists who focus/specialise in the area of PTSD and grief. I’m not sure if this is an option for you though...

I know sometimes different clinicians have their “focus” areas, so maybe it would help to narrow your search. E.g. a clinician who focuses more on general anxiety may not (necessarily) have the most suitable skills/be the most experienced dealing with certain traumas (this is only an example of course), whereas a clinician who focuses more on PTSD might be in a better position to help you.

I think you asked a great question about what alternatives there are to therapy. I know many people benefit from finding an outlet for their pain e.g. journaling, making art, dance, etc. Just anything that is comfortable to you and that helps you to release some of that pain...

Also, I think nature can be healing. For example, walks in a park might be your thing. Other people prefer bushwalking. Some like to watch the sunset. Etc. While none of those things would directly address your pain & hurt, what it can do is bring you into the here and now (mindfulness of sorts that brings you into the present) & it might mean exercise too.

I think pets can also be beneficial. I’ve heard of animal therapy (or it’s called something like that), which can be helpful for people who have experienced painful traumas & find it hard to trust humans...

Those are just some general ideas. I’m not sure if any of them are appropriate/helpful, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to share. You can see if you like those ideas or not 🙂

Thank you for bravely sharing your feelings with us. If you feel like it, but no pressure, you’re welcome to share more of your journey.

Kind & caring thoughts,

Pepper